Top 152 Quotes & Sayings by Al Yankovic - Page 2

Ever since the day you left me, I've been so miserable, my dear. I feel almost as bad as I did when you were still here.

Maybe I'll make a huge color tapestry from my belly button lint.

I'll be mellow when I'm dead.

I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love, and I have to use the self service pump.

I'm an ugly girl, My face makes you hurl, Sad I have it, I should bag it. Acne everywhere, Unwanted facial hair. I'm a relation to Frankenstein's creation.

My brothers and sisters hated me because I was an only child.

I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue than spend one more minute with you.

I try not to go the obvious route all the time, but sometimes the most obvious is actually the best.

I do original songs in the style of other artists, where I try to learn all their musical idiosyncrasies and try to do something that sounds like them and yet is a bit more sick and twisted.

You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill, now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will.

I think my chances of ever making it into the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame are about as good as Milli Vanilli’s.

Didn't have Nintendo, we just poured salt on snails.

Every night for dinner we had a big chunk of dirt.

In fact, when I come up with an idea for a parody I try to resist the urge to Google the idea to see if someone has done it already because the answer is almost always, "Yes, of course they have, they've thought of it!"

I enjoy all kinds of music. But it is kind of strange when I do parodies, instead of setting up drums and guitar amps.

He died a long painful death. However, you'll be happy to hear that just a few years later he was reincarnated as Shirley MacLaine.

My velvet Elvis means the world to me. Although he may not be worth much dough, he means more to me than some old Rembrandt or Van Gogh.

I love the way they run in fright when I turn on the kitchen light. And when I squish them on the ground, they make a pleasant crunchy sound.

I decided that I wanted to be a voice on every animated cartoon in the history of the world - even shows that haven't been on the air for a very long time, that's going to be harder to pull off.

That's something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.

I don't watch anything on a regular basis - I tend to binge-watch things.

It's hard to say, I picked one of my favorite articles for the MAD vault. Which is one of the features of the Magazine so they don't have to actually pay artists or writers to come up with new stuff.

Many years ago I found out something about hamburgers that really grossed me out. You may not know this, so I hope I don’t make you sick, but it turns out hamburgers are actually made out of dead cows. I am not making this up. Needless to say, as soon as I discovered that, I gave up meat entirely.

It was difficult to get into my friends' rock bands when I was a teenager. They somehow didn't see the need for an accordion player. That's when I realized that I had to find my own path in life.

I'll bet every great thinker and leader we've got Could see all kinds of things other people could not! So then why get upset if somebody like me Tries to look at the world just a bit differently?

If money can't buy happiness, then I guess I'll have to rent it.

Like, I have had moments, which I think most people have, where you'll be watching TV, and it'll be interrupted by some tragic event, and you'll actually find yourself thinking, 'I don't want to hear about this train being derailed! What happened to 'The Flintstones'?'

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.

My process for the parodies is that I get an idea for a song and then get approval from the artist and then go in and record it and probably try to get it out as soon as possible.

I think I'm equally as abusive as the editors normally are for the "Letters and Tomatoes" column, which is the fan mail part of MAD Magazine and an ongoing feature.

I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art!

I can't say enough good things about my band. I feel very fortunate that I found them when I did, very early in my career. Not only are they just great, nice guys; they're some of the best musicians you're likely to find. They do everything from gangsta rap to polka music and every genre in between. It's amazing.

I'm very analytical, I'm very precise. I mean, I don't write for kids.

Velvet Elvis never puts on weight.

Sometimes I get, "Have you ever thought about doing real music?" I like to think the music I do is real, it just happens to be funny.

I've always enjoyed animation and voiceover work. That's something that I've been proactive about.

People say releasing an album is like giving birth, but it’s more like having a gallbladder operation.

Kind of wish I was dead. Maybe, I'll blow my brains out, mama, or maybe I'll go bowling.

I don't want to pooh-pooh modern pop. I appreciate that as well, but my personal favorite kind of music is guitar-based rock. I like grunge and garage bands and alternative music, but that's more my personal taste.

I'm just a no-good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking, sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of slime.

I tend to enunciate pretty well. It's always seemed that my voice is one of those voices that people can recognize pretty easily - which has been a bit of a drawback for some characters because you're supposed to lose yourself in the character, but sometimes people look at a character and go "Oh, it's 'Weird Al.'"

Not any specific one, but I was a huge fan of Frank Jacobs, I guess he wrote the plurality of the song parodies for MAD, Sam Hart, a few others, but that was also where I was first exposed to the art form of song parodies.

My own personal tastes don't really have an effect on whether song is a parody target or not. But having said that, I try to pick songs that I actually like because I realize that I have to live with these songs for a long time, from when I'm working on them in the studio to possibly playing them onstage for the rest of my life. So I try not to pick songs that I know would drive me crazy.

That's a big part of my life - doing things that I'm not prepared to do. Doing things that I don't know how to do, and keep doing them until I get good at them. I always try to put myself out of my comfort zone and out of my depth, and hopefully somewhere along the line I'll catch up.

As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads.”

I can bend paper clips into the shapes of small animals.

I'm a music fan, and I can listen to the radio, or music, without thinking, "How am I going to screw this up?" [Laughs] If I'm really actively trying to think of a parody, then I'll have my antenna out, and be a little more proactive about it.

There's enough people that do unfunny music. I'll leave the serious stuff to Paris Hilton and Kevin Federline.

I like to think that I've gotten better at what I do. I spend more time and pay more attention to detail album after album. But pretty much it's stayed the same.

I have very mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I’m concerned that the rampant downloading of my copyright-protected material over the Internet is severely eating into my album sales and having a decidedly adverse effect on my career. On the other hand, I can get all the Metallica songs I want for FREE! WOW!

I start with a comprehensive list of all the recent songs that have been big hits - and then I go down that list and see if I can come up with funny ideas for them. I can always come up with ideas, but not necessarily good ones!

I was abducted by some aliens from space who kind a looked like Jamie Farr.

I knew we were having problems when you put those piranhas in my bathtub again.

I don't like to label myself. I know I'm very hard to pigeonhole.

Right now I'm listening to a lot of Top 40 music, because THAT'S MY JOB.

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty of time to be low-key when you're laid out on the slab.

I'd like to be able to be more topical and timely and more of-the-moment and I think the way to do that is, instead of waiting until I have twelve songs to release all at once, just to release them as I come up with them.

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.

I'm known for being an up, high-energy, and optimistic kind of guy.

I was able to come up with a couple articles for the magazine, I was able to solicit help from a bunch of my friends to contribute pieces: Patton Oswalt, Seth Green, Emo Phillips, Chris Hardwick, John Hodgman, and more. It's very much a "Weird Al" themed issue, so I'd like to think that there's a lot of "Weird Al" flavor throughout but I think it'd be generous really to call me an editor.