Top 95 Quotes & Sayings by Ali Wong - Page 2

It's very rare that stand-up comics have kids, because once they do, they stop doing stand-up.

In giving birth, I knew that I would have to take a break after I had a baby; I just didn't know that it would be, like, six weeks long. Taking a six-week break was a very big deal for me. I have never taken that long of a break from stand-up other than my honeymoon, which was 14 days long.

I want to be like a Wendy Murdoch or a Georgina Chapman.

Every comic is taught that you're supposed to have a great seven-minute set and then get a sitcom. And I don't want to get the sitcom.

I liked that improv and sketch comedy were collaborative, but you really depended on other people and a stage to perform. With stand-up comedy, I liked that you had no one else to blame and depend on.

Before my dad passed away, I would miss a lot of baby showers and weddings, sacrificed a lot of family and friend events for dumb road dates. I don't do that anymore. It's gone in the other direction. I'm more inclined to put family and friends first.

You can't just be crass without being witty. Angry crass is horrible.

A lot of people get into stand-up as a back door into acting or something. But I really like writing jokes and telling jokes.

The concept of 'diversity' was this big moral 'should.' And now with the success of shows like 'Fresh Off the Boat,' 'Empire,' 'Blackish,' and 'Jane the Virgin,' it's become this big business 'must,' which is so great.

I'm discovering, and I think other mums are discovering too, that when you become a mum, you don't have to change into this frumpy, wholesome role model who is perfect and loses all of your identity. You can still have the same personality you've always had.

Making people laugh was the only thing I ever truly excelled at. But at home, I was so quiet with my family, which taught me to be really observant.

People are always very surprised by how, offstage with my husband, I'm a completely different person... very soft and nurturing.

My parents emphasized experiential learning - in my family, being adventurous was a sign of maturity.

I've seen many female comics that a lot of people haven't heard of who are so funny, and I saw them come up, and they were working so hard, and then all of a sudden they had a baby, and they just got tied up in motherhood, and eventually, they kind of just stopped doing stand-up, and I thought it was such a shame.

I really loved being pregnant, especially because people treat you so nice.

The life of a true, traditional stand-up is really unappealing for women.

Food is a huge source of comfort for me.

I always really loved comedy. It's the only thing I was ever good at.

When you have a child, you think about your own mortality.

I would love to dress like Beyonce: some custom-print, neoprene onesie with no pants.

At the end of the day, I'm not really trying to make a statement with any of my standup.

My husband and I went to Japan for our honeymoon, and you look at, like, the presentation of the food, and it's ridiculous. It looks like a Mondrian painting or something. Everything looks like a bunch of little Hello Kitty erasers when you eat a little bento box in Japan. It's so precise and beautiful and processed and neat.

Breast-feeding was so stressful for me. I kept on clenching and pushing my tongue against the bottom teeth, so they started to move toward an underbite.

I want to write my daughter something about how much I love her and what I would want to say to her before I die.

Stand-up is no bureaucracy. No one can tell me what to do or not to do.

Aside from Joan Rivers and Roseanne, it's hard for me to think of any female comedian who's had kids and has a serious level of fame - like, the level where your mother has heard of them.

I don't want to be that famous.

I think that's one of the reasons women don't tell people when they've had a miscarriage - they think it's their fault.

A lot of women do stand-up as a gateway into acting, but I love stand-up, and to be a good stand-up, you have to go on the road a lot. It means going to places in America where they've never seen a Vietnamese person in their life.

I think one of the hardest things to talk about as a comic is having money because it's so unrelatable.

My goal is really to just make people laugh with integrity, like, with something that I still find funny.

There's a scene in 'Singin' in the Rain' where this guy dances with a giant doll while singing 'Make 'Em Laugh.' I remember loving the pure physicality of it.

In order to be the best comic, you have to perform in a wide diversity of rooms.

It's unfair to the hard-core stay-at-home moms to pretend you're able to have an amazing body by chasing around your kids.

I have this fantasy of relaxing and doing nothing. But I'm obviously very passionate about stand-up comedy. I mean, I keep doing it. So I must be really into it.