Top 269 Quotes & Sayings by Amy Poehler - Page 3

I grew up watching skating all the time in the Olympic stuff.

Open-faced sandwiches take risks and live big and smile with all their teeth. These are the people I want to be around.

However, if you do start crying in an argument and someone asks why, you can always say, 'I'm just crying because of how wrong you are.'

I don’t really believe in cars, but I drive one every day and I love that it gets me places and makes life so much easier and faster and I don’t know what I would do without it.

Nice manners are the secret keys to the universe.

The process of divorce is about loading that blanket, throwing it up, watching it all spin, and worrying what stuff will break when it lands.

Your career and your passion don't always match up. Plenty of talented people don't have the careers they want. Plenty of untalented people make millions and make movies. There is a difference between determination and talent.

I know enough now to know I know nothing.

I find that, in general, the amount of sharing men do with each other in one year is about the same as what I share with my female friends while we wait for our cars at the valet.

Take your risks now; as you become older, you become more fearful and less flexible. And I mean that literally. I hurt my knee this week on the treadmill, and it wasn't even on.

I think going from laughing to crying to laughing to crying - making those quick turns adds years to your life.

Because of various security lapses, some senators are calling for a probe of the security at the offices of the Department of Homeland Security. The investigation will be conducted by the Department of Irony.

Aw, I feel bad if [Taylor] was upset. I am a feminist, and she is a young and talented girl. That being said, I do agree I am going to hell. But for other reasons. Mostly boring tax stuff.

If you ever want to see heaven, watch a bunch of young girls play. They are all sweat and skinned knees. Energy and open faces.

New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin said that New Orleans, when rebuilt, will be a chocolate city. And he will be the delicious nut in the center.

Too often we women try to tackle chaos that is not ours to fix.

Ang Lee's been nominated for best director for "Life of Pi," which is what I'm going to call the six weeks after I take this dress off.

I asked people who have already finished books for advice, which is akin to asking a mother with a four-year-old what childbirth is like.

I think we should stop asking people in their twenties what they 'want to do' and start asking them what they don't want to do.

If boys say something that's not funny, you don't have to laugh.

I had no idea how to get guys to notice me. I still don't. Who cares?

You aren't allowed to feel special, but no one knows the specific ways you are in pain.

I like the person who commits and goes all in and takes big swings and then maybe fails or looks stupid; who jumps and falls down, rather than the person who points at the person who fell, and laughs.

Always remember your kid's name.

The truth is, writing is this: hard and boring and occasionally great but usually not.

I get worried for young girls sometimes; I want them to feel that they can be sassy and full and weird and geeky and smart and independent, and not so withered and shriveled.

Sometimes you need to know to quit while you're ahead or at least before things get much worse!

When you're betrayed there's a period of shame and then there's always forgiveness.

Career is the stringing together of opportunities and jobs. Mix in public opinion and past regrets. Add a dash of future panic and a whole lot of financial uncertainty. Career is something that fools you into thinking you are in control and then takes pleasure in reminding you that you aren't. Career is the thing that will not fill you up and will never make you truly whole.

I really liked the idea of playing that kind of optimistic, super-intense, go-get-'em spirit combined with being a little bit of an outsider. I am really drawn to girls of that age in general, who believe they can be a waitress, scientist, actress, a dentist, a zookeeper...and who really aren't boy-crazy.

If I wanted to see Jonah Hill masturbate at a pool party, I'd go to one of Jonah Hill's pool parties.

President Bush on Monday defended U.S. interrogation of terrorists, saying 'We do not torture.' He added, 'We freedom electrocute.'

When your children arrive, the best you can hope for is that they break open everything about you. Your mind floods with oxygen. Your heart becomes a room with wide-open windows. You laugh hard every day.

Hey, guess what? Turns out the free market? Not so free. Wall Street was hit hard Monday when Lehman Brothers filed for bankruptcy, Merrill Lynch was sold to Bank of America, and insurance giant AIG neared a collapse of its own. Basically, if your commercials air during golf tournaments, you're done.

Everybody is interesting when they are interested in something.

Telling me to relax or smile when I'm angry is like bringing a birthday cake into an ape sanctuary. You're just asking to get your nose and genitals bitten off.

Masters of Sex is the degree I got from Boston College.

I used to say that I wanted to make great art with people I love. Now I have an addendum to that goal: to get things on the air.

I just want to help other women achieve as much as they can in society without restraints being imposed on us. It's the most natural and normal thing to want to defend your rights to equal opportunities, equal pay for equal work, and everything that comes with that.

There's only, like, five perfectly symmetrical people in the world, and they're all movie stars, and they should be, because their faces are very pleasing to look at, but the rest of us are just a jangle of stuff, and the earlier you learn that you should focus on what you have and not obsess about what you don't have, the happier you will be.

I had already made a decision early on that I would be a plain girl with tons of personality, and accepting it made everything a lot easier. If you are lucky, there is a moment in your life when you have some say as to what your currency is going to be. I decided early on it was not going to be my looks. I have spent a lifetime coming to terms with this idea and I would say I am about 15 to 20 percent there.Decide what your currency is early. Let go of what you will never have. People who do this are happier and sexier.

You have to care about how good you are and how good you feel, but not about how good people think you are or how good people think you look.

I think if I have established anything in my book, it's that a key element of being my friend is being comfortable with my forced fun.

In the wake of newly-alleged prisoner abuse this week, Senator John McCain said that continued mistreatment of Iraqi prisoners is hurting the nation's image. Also hurting the nation's image: letting people drown when it rains.

That is the motto women should constantly repeat over and over again. 'Good for her! Not for me.'

Looking silly can be ver powerful. People who are committing and taking risks become the king and queen of my prom. People are their most beautiful when they are laughing, crying, dancing, playing, telling the truth, and being chased in a fun way.

Meryl Streep is not here tonight. She has the flu - and I hear she's amazing in it.

The federal government began investigating allegations of fraud against the Coalition Provisional Authority, a U.S. contractor accused in a bid-rigging operation involving millions of dollars. Asked to comment, a spokesperson for Halliburton said, 'Millions? With an M? That is adorable.'

The only thing we can depend on in life is that everything changes. The seasons, our partners, what we want and need. We hold hands with out high school friends and swear to never lose touch, and then we do.Change is the only constant. Your ability to navigate and tolerate change and its painful uncomfortableness directly correlates to your happiness and general well-being.

In the trial of Saddam Hussein on Tuesday, witnesses emotionally testified about the abuse the former dictator inflicted on them. Afterward, a tearful Saddam said, 'Ah, good times.'

It doesn't matter how much you get; you are left wanting more.

I believe great people do things before they are ready.

If you are lucky, there is a moment in your life when you have some say as to what your currency is going to be. I decided early on it was not going to be my looks.

Well, the first thing we do is take our brain out and put it in a drawer. Stick it somewhere and let it tantrum until it wears itself out. You may still hear the brain and all the shitty things it is saying to you, but it will be muffled, and just the fact that it is not in your head anymore will make things seem clearer. And then you just do it.

Make no a complete sentence.

I think if you can dance and be free and not embarrassed, you can rule the world.

In my twenties I tried cocaine, which I instantly loved but eventually hated. Cocaine is terrific if you want to hang out with people you don't know very well and play Ping-Pong all night. It's bad for almost everything else.

Your ability to navigate and tolerate change and its painful uncomfortablene ss directly correlates to your happiness and general well-being. See what I just did there? I saved you thousands of dollars on self-help books. If you can surf your life rather than plant your feet, you will be happier.

Creativity is connected to passion - that light inside that drives you.

My phone is trying to kill me. It is a battery-charged rectangle of disappointment and possibility. It is a technological pacifier.