Top 131 Quotes & Sayings by Aziz Ansari - Page 3

I never had the desire to be a professional Twitterer. Every now and then something dumb pops into my head and I'll tweet it. I don't feel any obligation to respond to everyone. Not that I don't appreciate people sending me messages on there, but there are too many. Responding to everyone would take away time for all the stuff I'm actually in the business for.

I think when people talk about improvising it turns into this silly thing like, "Oh there's like a hula hoop there and I'm like 'Oh what's going on here? Is this a really big ring?'"

I've never done online dating.

It can take a few months to get a new 10 minutes. Usually it takes like 10 times of repeatedly trying different variations of a joke until I land on one I think is really good.

In this era, we have more choice than any group of people ever. When you are out at night, anyone in the universe can contact you instantly. Think about how crazy that is compared to even a few decades ago.

Come on, man, I got a full beard!

I have a couple of 'doing caps' in my wallet. That's what I call condoms.

Aren't you scared your kid's getting kidnapped...RIGHT NOW?

I always have my setlist planned out, but the best moments are when the energy of the crowd just gets your mind working and you are able to come up with new tags for jokes and just riff off things in the room.

I live in L.A., I go on tour all the time, I'm in New York half the year - it's very hard to be in a relationship.

You don't know Jay-Z's scedule. He's a renaissance man.