Top 28 Quotes & Sayings by Benny Hill

Explore popular quotes and sayings by an English comedian Benny Hill.
Last updated on December 21, 2024.
Benny Hill

Alfred Hawthorne Hill was an English comedian, actor, singer and writer. He is remembered for his television programme The Benny Hill Show, an amalgam of slapstick, burlesque and double entendre in a format that included live comedy and filmed segments, with Hill at the focus of almost every segment.

I changed it to Leslie Hill, only that seemed more like a cocktail pianist. Eventually, being an admirer of Jack Benny, I took his name.
I'm single. I don't have a family. I certainly don't have to work. I don't want to be the richest man in the cemetery.
Those hot pants of hers were so damned tight, I could hardly breathe. — © Benny Hill
Those hot pants of hers were so damned tight, I could hardly breathe.
I used to watch all these great fat women in the audience laughing at the comic, and I would think how wonderful it would be to be that man. He was surrounded by pretty girls, he obviously got more money than anyone else, and everyone loved him.
Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.
I'm not against half naked girls - not as often as I'd like to be.
Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.
What we've discovered is that Americans seem to love our saucy humor.
That's what show business is, sincere insincerity.
I don't covet images or belongings. My television set and video are rented, any paintings aren't worth a fortune, and money is of little interest.
I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: 'Oh well,' and I went back to smoking again, and that was better.
If you can mix glamor and gags, then you can catch the audience twice over.
I have a mental age of about 17. Far too young for marriage.
The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and against two bombs a million times a million to one. Next time you fly, cut the odds and take a bomb.
I sometimes use a girl singer the way Henny Youngman uses his violin - as a bridge between one laugh and the next.
I don't do something I won't enjoy just for the money. I do it for the fun, for the joy of working.
Do unto others, then run.
The mistake British comedians often make is trying to beat the Americans at their own game - getting visiting American singers on their shows, talking about 'sidewalk' instead of 'pavement,' sitting on high stools in a white dinner jacket doing ballads. That way, you simply end up with a mid-Atlantic mishmash.
A man who fails is funny... if my sketches teach anything, it is that, for the male, sex is a snare and a delusion. What's so corrupting about that?
Live everyday as though it's your last 'cause one day you'll be right.
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
Why would I make one woman so miserable when I can make so many women very happy? — © Benny Hill
Why would I make one woman so miserable when I can make so many women very happy?
I never yell, I never tell, but I'm grateful as hell.
Did you ever notice that everyone in favour of birth control has already been born ?
Roses are reddish Violets are bluish If it weren't for Christmas We'd all be Jewish.
Do unto others, then run
Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?
Before I met her, I drank and swore without reason... now I have a reason.
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