Top 268 Quotes & Sayings by Bill Hicks

When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.

Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to.

I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.

The American dream is a crock. Stop wanting everything. Everyone should wear jeans and have three T-shirts, eat rice and beans.

I began working quite young, writing, growing, maturing, always striving to top myself - to make people laugh hard at things they know and believe deep in their hearts to be true.

I don't like anything in the mainstream and they don't like me.

It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.

We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free.

If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn them.

Life is only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves.

People in the U.K. share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself. They have a sense of irony, which America doesn't have, seeing as it's being run by fundamentalists who take things literally.

Ultimately, it is in fun. It is supposed to be highly entertaining.

And if I can take part in it by transforming my own consciousness, then someone else's, I'm happy to do it.

I'm totally confused about what I'm going to do with my life.

Music is a great energizer. It's a language everybody knows.

Listen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas.

The best kind of comedy to me is when you make people laugh at things they've never laughed at, and also take a light into the darkened corners of people's minds, exposing them to the light.

People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself.

I'm a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.

I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative.

Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.

I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.

I hate patriotism... I can't stand it. It's a round world last time I checked.

Your denial is beneath you, and thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs, I see through you.

I'm not really a heavy smoker any more. I only get through two lighters a day now.

As long as one person lives in darkness then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people.

I'm sorry if any of you are Catholic. I'm not sorry if you're offended, I'm actually just sorry by the fact that you're Catholic.

There is no such thing as death; life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.

Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.

We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.

I don't do drugs anymore... than, say, the average touring funk band.

If you're so pro-life, do me a favour: don't lock arms and block medical clinics. If you're so pro-life, lock arms and block cemeteries.

I don't get along with anything, I really don't...I'm, I'm, maybe I'm just a, you know, incredibly tasteful human being.

I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That's faith in action folks! You know he's got God on his side.

When you're...stepping over a guy on the sidewalk...does it ever occur to you to think, 'Wow. Maybe our system doesn't work?'

All governments are lying cocksuckers.

If you are living for tomorrow, you will always be one day behind.

I do not believe making money in order to consume goods is mankind’s sole purpose on this planet. If you’re wondering what I believe our purpose on this planet is, I’ll give you a hint... it has to do with creating and sharing.

I don't care if you're obscene, filthy, horrendous -- as long as you're honest.

There is a 3rd point of view on the gun control issue - those who I refer to as THE VICTIMS - but they remain strangely silent.

I, like all artists in Western cultures, am a shaman...come in the guise of a comic...to heal perception by using...'jokes'.

The puppet on the right shares my beliefs, the puppet on the left is more to my liking. Hey...there's one guy holding up both!

The world is like a ride in an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills and it's very brightly coloured and it's very loud and it's fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time and they begin to question: "Is this real, or is this just a ride?" And other people have remembered, and they come back to us, they say, "Hey, don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride." And we kill those people.

I am a misanthropic humanist... Do I like people? They're great, IN THEORY.

Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.

Christianity has a built-in defense system: anything that questions a belief, no matter how logical the argument is, is the work of Satan by the very fact that it makes you question a belief. It's a very interesting defense mechanism and the only way to get by it -- and believe me, I was raised Southern Baptist -- is to take massive amounts of mushrooms, sit in a field, and just go, "Show me.".

You know what I hate about working? Bosses...The very idea that ANYONE could be my boss, well...I think you see the conflict.

Oh sorry, I was taking life seriously.

Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.

It's an insane world, and I'm proud to be a part of it.

You know all the money we spend on nuclear weapons and defence every year? Trillions of dollars? Correct? Trillions. Instead, if we spent that money feeding and clothing the poor of the world,which it would pay for many times over, not one human being excluded, not one, we could, as one race, explore outer space together in peace forever

If you want to understand a society, take a good look at the drugs it uses. And what can this tell you about American culture? Well, look at the drugs we use. Except for pharmaceutical poison, there are essentially only two drugs that Western civilization tolerates: Caffeine from Monday to Friday to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in.

Any organization created out of fear must create fear to survive.

No one can give you any answers. There aren't any. You have to discover for yourself-you must learn to navigate the mystery.

I'm just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious.

It's all about money, not freedom. If you think you're free, try going somewhere without money, okay?

All your beliefs, they're just that. They're nothing. They're how you were taught and raised. That doesn't make 'em real.

This is where we are at right now, as a whole. No one is left out of the loop. We are experiencing a reality based on a thin veneer of lies and illusions. A world where greed is our God and wisdom is sin, where division is key and unity is fantasy, where the ego-driven cleverness of the mind is praised, rather than the intelligence of the heart.

Don't worry; don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.

I ascribe to Mark Twain's theory that the last person who should be President is the one who wants it the most. The one who should be picked is the one who should be dragged kicking and screaming into the White House.