Top 201 Quotes & Sayings by Bill Murray - Page 2

You know...they say an elephant never forgets. What they don't tell you is, you never forget an elephant.

If you have someone that you think is The One, don't just sort of think in your ordinary mind, 'Okay, let's pick a date. Let's plan this and make a party and get married.' Take that person and travel around the world. Buy a plane ticket for the two of you to travel all around the world, and go to places that are hard to go to and hard to get out of. And if when you come back to JFK, when you land in JFK, and you're still in love with that person, get married at the airport.

You work, you get paid, you drink.

The automatic things you do are basically those things that keep you from doing the better things you need to do.

The cool part about naming your kid is you don’t have to add six numbers to make sure the name is available.

I'm just a potato that won't quit. I'm a potato with some legs. Some have eyes, I've got legs.

If Google doesn't know the answer, then it's not a question

It's hard to be an artist. It's hard to be anything. It's hard to be.

Those are my people, you know? The ones who are going to crash and burn.

Harold Ramis and I together did the ‘National Lampoon Show’ off Broadway, ‘Meatballs,’ ‘Stripes,’ ‘Caddyshack,’ ‘Ghostbusters’ and ‘Groundhog Day.’ He earned his keep on this planet. God bless him.

I know how to be sour. I know that taste.

I don't have to take this abuse from you -- I have hundreds of people waiting in line to abuse me!

My favorite thing about New York is the people, because I think they’re misunderstood. I don’t think people realize how kind New York people are.

And I say, 'Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.' And he says, 'Oh, uh, there won't be any money. But when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.' So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

The Army needs leaders the way a foot needs a big toe.

Grab this day by the neck and kiss it.

It’s fun to watch someone like John Goodman, and yet it takes work. People say ‘he’s not acting, he’s being himself.’ Well it’s hard to be yourself, it’s the hardest job there is.

Like: 'Don't walk out there with one hand in your pocket unless there's somethin' in there you're going to bring out.' You gotta commit. You've gotta go out there and improvise and you've gotta be completely unafraid to die. You've got to be able to take a chance to die. And you have to die lots. You have to die all the time.

The only way we’ll ever know what it’s like to be you is if you work your best at being you as often as you can, and keep reminding yourself: That’s where home is.

Life is a game, and it's much more fun if you play it as your own game, so stay light and loose and relaxed.

Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear, and when I do, it's usually something unusual.

My back hurts. My legs ache. I'm only four!

You can handle just about anything that comes at you out on the road with a believable grin, common sense and whiskey.

This is not a dress rehearsal; this is your life.

If you walk up to some random person on the street, grab them by the shoulder, and say 'Did you just see what I saw?!', you'll find that no-one wants to talk to you.

You have to hope that [good things] happen to you. [...] That's the only thing we really, surely have, is hope. You hope that you can be alive, that things will happen to you that you'll actually witness, that you'll participate in. Rather than life just rolling over you, and you wake up and it's Thursday, and what happened to Monday? Whatever the best part of my life has been, has been as a result of that remembering.

I try to be available for life to happen to me. We're in this life, and if you're not available, the sort of ordinary time goes past and you didn’t live it. But if you're available, life gets huge. You're really living it.

You can't think about what you're going to do. It just gets in the way. You have to be just available for life, otherwise you're not bringing anything to the party. So I don't lie awake thinking about what I'm going to do workwise. There's just too much going on.

You have to be as light as you can be and not get weighed down and stuck in your emotion, stuck in your body, stuck in your head. You just want to always be trying to elevate somehow.

The more relaxed you are, the better you are at everything.

Drinking again? Go to hell. All I ever do is make some movies that made a lot of money now leave me alone, I want to have some fun.

Every moment that you share someone else's pain, feel what they feel, makes you more human.

I have a brother who gives socks for Christmas. He gives socks. Every year, I get a pair of socks from him.

Afghanistan is just one of those countries that no group can conquer. It's so challenging to live, and the people are so close among their own tribes, their own groups, that you can't rule them all, you can't get an accord from all of them.

I kinda like this Jay-Z thing, where he’s retired, but he keeps doing shows. I think I beat him to that. If you say you’re retired, people don’t bother you so much, and then if you want to do something, you can do it.

Well, the past is gone, I know that. The future isn't here yet, whatever it's going to be. So, all there is, is this. The present. That's it.

Melancholy is kind of sweet sometimes, I think. It's not a negative thing. It's not a mean thing. It's just something that happens in life, like autumn.

Something wild can happen to anybody and I caution anybody that walks out on the street, just settle your accounts before you leave the house every day.

My iPhone has 2 million times the storage of the 1969 Apollo 11 computer. They went to the moon. I throw birds at pig houses

Totie Fields is one of my benchmarks for a lot of things. There was a standard of show business.

Its Christmas Eve! Its the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we smile a little easier, we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the people that we always hoped we would be.

I really don't know what's going to come out of my mouth.

I think if you can take care of yourself, and then maybe try to take care of someone else, that's sort of how you're supposed to live.

I improvise whenever I feel it's important, or whenever I think that something's there. It's nice to have a script that's so well-written that I don't have to improvise. I mean, I used to have to re-write whole movies; this is kind of nice.

The secret is to have a sense of yourself, your real self, your unique self. And not just once in a while, or once a day, but all through the day, the week and life.

I feel like I'm a better person when I'm quieter.

You're supposed to have one hand up and one hand down. As you're trying to going up, you're trying to pull someone up at the same time.

Everyone needs to take a vacation from the sort of automatic things you do.

I count on the kindness of strangers.

Love can be seeing that here we are and there's this world here.

I don't answer fan mail. I don't have time for that. It's like hundreds of thousands of people who think they're going to become millionaires getting autographs from movie actors. I don't have time for those idiots. I've got stuff to do.

It's the most terrifying day of your life, the day the first one is born. Your life, as you know it, is gone. Never to return. But they learn how to walk, and they learn how to talk, and you want to be with them. And they turn out to be the most delightful people you'll ever meet in your life.

Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!

Just the very thought of someone my age going to visit old girlfriends had instant appeal.Even women think, 'That would be interesting.' Not comfortable, but interesting. It is not a comfortable film at any point.

I'm over the Oscar thing. I feel that if you really want an Oscar, you're in trouble. It's like wanting to be married - you'll take anybody. If you want the Oscar really badly, it becomes a naked desire and ambition. It becomes very unattractive. I've seen it.

You want my dark side? Have I ever stolen anything? Not so much intentionally. But I don't think it's so much stealing as... being a part of the flow of the universe. You know, where there's an exchange. It's positive. It's negative. There's an exchange of goods and services.

The human condition means that we can zone out and forget what the hell we're doing.

If people really want to find you, they find you.

And even if we win, if we win, HAH! Even if we win! Even if we play so far above our heads that our noses bleed for a week to ten days; even if God in Heaven above comes down and points his hand at our side of the field; even if every man woman and child held hands together and prayed for us to win, it just wouldn't matter because all the really good looking girls would still go out with the guys from Mohawk because they've got all the money! It just doesn't matter if we win or we lose. IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER! It just doesn't matter! It just doesn't matter!

I’ve killed myself so many times, I don’t even exist anymore.