Top 340 Quotes & Sayings by Bill Watterson

Explore popular quotes and sayings by an American cartoonist Bill Watterson.
Last updated on September 17, 2024.
Bill Watterson

William Boyd Watterson II is a retired American cartoonist and the author of the comic strip Calvin and Hobbes, which was syndicated from 1985 to 1995. Watterson stopped drawing Calvin and Hobbes at the end of 1995, with a short statement to newspaper editors and his readers that he felt he had achieved all he could in the medium. Watterson is known for his negative views on comic syndication and licensing, his efforts to expand and elevate the newspaper comic as an art form, and his move back into private life after he stopped drawing Calvin and Hobbes. Watterson was born in Washington, D.C., and grew up in Chagrin Falls, Ohio. The suburban Midwestern United States setting of Ohio was part of the inspiration for Calvin and Hobbes.

Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.
It's always better to leave the party early.
That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder. — © Bill Watterson
That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder.
It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what's cool.
Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we have made.
I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.
When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.
Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.
I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.
The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.
Reality continues to ruin my life.
If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently.
Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous? — © Bill Watterson
Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?
If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.
So, what's it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don't recommend it.
God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.
It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.
I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
Genius is never understood in its own time.
If I had rolled along with the strip's popularity and repeated myself for another five, 10 or 20 years, the people now 'grieving' for 'Calvin and Hobbes' would be wishing me dead.
Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.
Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery - it recharges by running.
Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.
There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
If your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.
We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.
Mothers are the necessity of invention.
We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.
The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!
Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.
Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.
I liked things better when I didn't understand them.
It's surprising how hard we'll work when the work is done just for ourselves.
The world of a comic strip ought to be a special place with its own logic and life... I don't want the issue of Hobbes's reality settled by a doll manufacturer.
From now on, I'll connect the dots my own way.
Letting your mind play is the best way to solve problems.
I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track. — © Bill Watterson
I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.
I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night.
Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.
I won't eat any cereal that doesn't turn the milk purple.
A real job is a job you hate.
Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?
I wish people were more like animals. Animals don't try to change you or make you fit in. They just enjoy the pleasure of your company. Animals aren't conditional about friendships. Animals like you just the way you are. They listen to your problems, they comfort you when you're sad, and all they ask in return is a little kindness.
It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.
You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood. What mood is that? Last-minute panic. — © Bill Watterson
You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood. What mood is that? Last-minute panic.
The problem with people is that they're only human.
Calvin: They say the world is a stage. But obviously the play is unrehearsed and everybody is ad-libbing his lines. Hobbes: Maybe that’s why it’s hard to tell if we’re living in a tragedy or a farce. Calvin: We need more special effects and dance numbers.
To invent your own life's meaning is not easy, but it's still allowed, and I think you'll be happier for the trouble.
We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.
I don't think I'd have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I'd known the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed.
Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement. In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive... To invent your own life's meaning is not easy, but it's still allowed, and I think you'll be happier for the trouble.
I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.
I let my mind wander and it didn't come back.
I'm not a vegetarian! I'm a dessertarian!
Tomorrow we'll not only seize the day, we'll throttle it.
The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.
Calvin: The more you know, the harder it is to take decisive action. Once you are informed, you start seeing complexities and shades of gray. You realize nothing is as clear as it first appears. Ultimately, knowledge is paralyzing. Being a man of action, I cannot afford to take that risk. Hobbes: You're ignorant, but at least you act on it.
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