Top 340 Quotes & Sayings by Bill Watterson - Page 2

I try to make everyone's day a little more surreal.

You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.

Calvin: Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we can think faster than we speak? Hobbes: Probably so we can think twice.

Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?

Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!

Problems often look overwhelming at first. The secret is to break problems into small, manageable chunks. If you deal with those, you're done before you know it.

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.

Boy, there's nothing worse than an inscrutable omen.

We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled. Sooner or later, we are all asked to compromise ourselves and the things we care about. We define ourselves by our actions. With each decision, we tell ourselves and the world who we are. Think about what you want out of this life, and recognize that there are many kinds of success.

Rainy days should be spent at home with a cup of tea and a good book.

Repetition is the death of magic.

History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That's why events are always reinterpreted when values change. We need new versions of history to allow for our current prejudices.

People always make the mistake of thinking art is created for them. But really, art is a private language for sophisticates to congratulate themselves on their superiority to the rest of the world. As my artist’s statement explains, my work is utterly incomprehensible and is therefore full of deep significance.

County library? Reference desk, please. Hello? Yes, I need a word definition. Well, that's the problem. I don't know how to spell it and I'm not allowed to say it. Could you just rattle off all the swear words you know and I'll stop you when...Hello?

The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it.

It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw.

Hobbes: How come we play war and not peace? Calvin: Too few role models.

Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.

Surprise is the essence of humor, and nothing is more surprising than truth.

They say the secret of success is being at the right place at the right time, but since you never know when the right time is going to be, I figure the trick is to find the right place and just hang around.

I'll bet my autopsy reveals my mouth is too big.

Isn't it sad how some people's grip on their lives is so precarious that they'll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?

If good things lasted forever, would we appreciate how precious they are?

The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that's even worse

You know, sometimes the world seems like a pretty mean place.' 'That's why animals are so soft and huggy.

You will do well to cultivate the resources in yourself that bring you happiness outside of success or failure.

Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the world's problems?

Calvin: Somewhere in Communist Russia, I'll bet there's a little boy who has never known anything but censorship and oppression. But maybe he's heard of America, and he dreams of living in this land of freedom and opportunity! Someday, I'd like to meet that little boy... and tell him the awful TRUTH ABOUT THIS PLACE!! Calvin's Dad: Calvin, be quiet and eat the stupid Lima beans.

It's a magical world, Hobbes, ol' buddy... Let's go exploring!

You know what I like about summer days? They're just made for doing things... even if it's nothing. Especially if it's nothing.

I'm related to people I don't relate to.

Calvin: Look, a dead bird! Hobbes: It must've hit a window. Calvin: Isn't it beautiful? It's so delicate. Sighhh... once it's too late, you appreciate what a miracle life is. You realize that nature is ruthless and our existence is very fragile, temporary, and precious. But to go on with your daily affairs, you can't really think about that... which is probably why everyone takes the world for granted and why we act so thoughtlessly. It's very confusing. I suppose it will all make sense when we grow up. Hobbes: No doubt.

I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life...procrastinating and rationalizing.

My whole problem is that my lips move when I think.

I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

I learned about what I love. Imagination, deep friendship, animals, family, the natural world, ideas and ideals ... and silliness.

In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive.

If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again.

What's the point of wearing your favorite rocket ship underpants if nobody ever asks to see 'em?

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.

There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse!

A day can really slip by when you're deliberately avoiding what you're supposed to do.

Calvin: Know what I pray for? Hobbes: What? Calvin: The strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference.

That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.

You know, maybe we don't need enemies." "Yeah, best friends aree about all I can take.

Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?

Sometimes what holds you together and what tears you apart are the same things. My lungs are made of armor so that I can breathe when you are not here. 6.8 million people live alone in England. Do you feel lonely? I don't have the courage to face reality so I get lost in my dreams. You know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.

I'M SIGNIFICANT!!! ... Say's the dust speck.

Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of boring routine and valleys of frustration and failure.

A box of new crayons! Now they’re all pointy, lined up in order, bright and perfect. Soon they’ll be a bunch of ground down, rounded, indistinguishable stumps, missing their wrappers and smudged with other colors. Sometimes life seems unbearably tragic.

If you can't win by reason, go for volume.

I like my smock. You can tell the quality of the artist by the quality of his smock. Actually, I just like to say smock. Smock smock smock smock smock smock.

I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad mood.

As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway.

You can present the material, but you can't make me care.

I can never enjoy Sundays, because in the back of my mind I always know I've got to go to school the next day. It's like trying to enjoy your last meal before the execution.

Verbing weirds language.

Calvin: Isn't it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor? When you think about it, it's weird that we have a physiological response to absurdity. We laugh at nonsense. We like it. We think it's funny. Don't you think it's odd that we appreciate absurdity? Why would we develop that way? How does it benefit us? Hobbes: I suppose if we couldn't laugh at things that don't make sense, we couldn't react to a lot of life.

You mix a bunch of ingredients, and once in a great while, chemistry happens.