Top 177 Quotes & Sayings by Billy Crystal
Explore popular quotes and sayings by an American comedian Billy Crystal.
Last updated on September 17, 2024.
I could always improvise. Some of my teachers remember me standing in front of the class with a flower on my head, talking about photosynthesis. I'd stop and say, 'Is this working for any of you?' The kids were like, 'What is he doing?'
That's the thing about jazz: it's free flowing, it comes from your soul.
It is great seeing the fruits of your labor. The joy I have in watching my daughters with their kids is great, because they're doing a wonderful job, and the kids are fantastic.
I'm going to go on just living and laughing and loving.
I'm a baby. I sleep like a baby - I'm up every two hours. And I think a lot. I worry a lot. I have great nights of no sleep where ideas come.
Change is such hard work.
Kids need a happy household. They need to be loved and supported in their dreams. And I don't think you can make your kids' dreams your own. They need you to support them in their dreams.
I was a per diem floater in the same junior high school I went to. I sat in the office and made $42.50 a day, and whenever a teacher was absent, I'd substitute. I taught everything from English to auto shop.
'Parental Guidance' combines comedy and pathos in the best way.
I'd stand on a coffee table, and my cousin Edith would give me dimes, and you put the dimes on your head... And when your forehead was full, show was over.
Your first friends are your truest friends, I find. And the ones that stick are really special.
The Academy and the Oscars have been very gracious to me.
Mom was so funny and loving to us kids. She was our first audience. When my dad died, I was suddenly alone in the house with her because my two older brothers were away at college. I was the man of the house, and she was the grieving woman.
You don't want to wait for that aged jockey role.
That's still the greatest high, that feeling of being in control of 2,000 people. It's me and them, and I like the odds. It's not even so much the funny. It's getting them quiet. In the quiet moments in '700 Sundays,' I just really love that they're getting moved.
I've known Kareem since I was kid. He lived in Manhattan, but my best friend used to go to high school with him, and he was in my house the day I graduated from high school in 1965.
I can always say I led off for the New York Yankees. It's an amazing feeling.
No disrespect to Sweden: I didn't think of them as the comedy universe.
Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America's biggest export is now the Oscar.
I still don't love the darkness, though I've learned to smile in it a little bit, now and then.
Your success is in your point of view. It's your life that you're talking about; it's your observations. That's the best lesson that I ever had.
I'm almost shocked that I'm still around after all of these years... and always grateful that I get another turn to do something.
To be good, you need to believe in what you're doing.
Ali forced us to take a look at ourselves. This brash young man who thrilled us, angered us, confused and challenged us, ultimately became a silent messenger of peace who taught us that life is best when you build bridges between people, not walls.
I never missed a birthday. I never missed a school play. We carpooled. And the greatest compliment I can ever get is not about my career or performance or anything; it's when people say, 'You know, your girls are great.' That's the real thing for me.
Muhammad Ali struck us in the middle of America's darkest night, in the heart of its most threatening gathering storm. His power toppled the mightiest of foes, and his intense light shined on America, and we were able to see clearly injustice, inequality, poverty, pride, self realization, courage, laughter, love, joy and religious freedom for all.
Nothing takes the sting out of these tough economic times like watching a bunch of millionaires giving golden statues to each other.
Doing my Broadway show '700 Sundays' reminded me how much I love working in front of an audience.
A laugh is a weird sound, and when you get a couple thousand people making it at once, it's really strange. But when I can feel proud of myself for causing it, it's great.
Of course my uncle was a giant, but my dad, in particular, had the house filled with these great Dixieland jazz stars, really the best of them: Henry Red Allen, Willie 'The Lion' Smith, Buster Bailey, Cutty Cutshall, Tyree Glenn, Zutty Singleton. These are all big names in the Dixieland world.
Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I'd always go off book and start improvising.
At 60, I could do the same things I could do at 30, if I could only remember what those things are.
You really have to have some muscle to be on the stage in front of the world.
My granddaughter's birth has made me want to create things she will love.
Whatever it is that's bothering me - interacting with annoying guy at a restaurant, contemplating my age, or losing friends to illness - I'll start to chip away at it. If you can poke holes in it, it's not as formidable; it's not as scary, and ultimately, it becomes another truth.
I didn't rebel as a child. I missed that angry teenager thing.
I was a film-directing major at NYU. I'm still not sure why I became a directing major, when I was really an actor and a comedian, but there was something that drew me to doing that.
Since I got into the movies, 'Running Scared,' that did $40 million. 'Princess Bride,' I got good reviews for the character Miracle Max. 'Memories of Me' didn't do well. 'Throw Mama from the Train' did $70 million. 'Harry and Sally' did 95 or 96. 'City Slickers' did $120 million.
I don't like to watch my work after I do it because it just - I'll always look at the wrong things.
The death of Sid Caesar on Wednesday caused a chain reaction in my soon-to-be-66-year-old mind. I was saddened, of course, but felt a sense of relief that he was at last free from the indignity of aging.
There used to be that you only had four or five critics that you would look to for intelligent conversation, but now there are millions of people who can just press 'send,' and everyone's got an opinion even if no one cares what they say. It makes things a little bit tougher.
My mind is always going. I'm always thinking what I need to do, what I haven't done, what I did do, what I didn't do as well as I could - I'm relentless that way with myself.
I never worry that I'll die in my sleep, because I'm never asleep!
Humans love sex, we need sex, it's how we connect, it reminds us we're alive, it's the third most basic human need, after food and good movie popcorn.
My older brother Joel became an art teacher; my brother Rip ultimately became a television producer and singer and actor himself.
I think it's like a relay race. You run, and you hand over the baton, and your kids pick it up. They take the stuff they want, throw the rest away, and keep running. That's what life is about.
When I'm not thrilled, I get funny.
Dad had a music store, and he'd often bring home comedy albums that I would listen to. I started listening to Bob Newhart and Bill Cosby, and developing taste. They really influenced my style of comedy.
There are all these things I want to accomplish. We never know how long we're going to get.
Only once in a thousand years or so do we get to hear a Mozart or see a Picasso or read a Shakespeare. Ali was one of them, and yet at his heart, he was still a kid from Louisville who ran with the gods and walked with the crippled and smiled at the foolishness of it all.
Gentlemen, start your egos.
When you're 65, you're surprised by what turns you on.
One night, I wrote down all the things I was waiting to do with my little granddaughter, and it became a book, 'I Already Know I Love You.' It was one of those really lovely things in life.
My mum, Helen, was hilarious. She had a tremendous sense of humour and was a great singer and tap dancer. For many years, she was the voice of Minnie Mouse in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. She would be in the float as it came along, singing whatever the Minnie Mouse song of the day was. She was a really big spirit in my life.
I'm comfortable being old... being black... being Jewish.
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
To this day, with all of these muscle-bound guys, nobody hit the ball further than Mickey Mantle, with his natural strength.
To me, little Mike Wazowski is one of the best characters I ever got to play because he was funny. He was outrageous. He got angry. He was romantic. He was a full, well-rounded character.
The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book.
When you're the host of the Academy Awards, and you grew up watching Bob Hope and Johnny Carson, and now it's your turn, and you get a chance to run with the baton on the relay for a while, I really embraced it and just really loved being there.
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