Top 239 Quotes & Sayings by Bob Hope

Explore popular quotes and sayings by an American comedian Bob Hope.

Last updated on December 23, 2024.

Leslie Townes "Bob" Hope was a British-American comedian, vaudevillian, actor, singer and dancer. With a career that spanned nearly 80 years, Hope appeared in more than 70 short and feature films, with 54 feature films with Hope as star, including a series of seven Road to ... musical comedy movies with Bing Crosby as Hope's top-billed partner.

American - Comedian | May 29, 1903 - July 27, 2003

Source: Wikipedia

I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.

Bob Hope

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

Bob Hope

When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.

Bob Hope

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

Bob Hope

I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar!

Bob Hope

They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood.

Bob Hope

I have too much money invested in sweaters.

Bob Hope

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

Bob Hope

Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.

Bob Hope

If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.

Bob Hope

You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.

Bob Hope

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.

Bob Hope

Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.

Bob Hope

I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

Bob Hope

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.

Bob Hope

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

Bob Hope

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

Bob Hope

If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.

Bob Hope

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.

Bob Hope

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

Bob Hope

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

Bob Hope

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

Bob Hope

When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things - not the great occasions - that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.

Bob Hope

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

Bob Hope

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.

Bob Hope

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.

Bob Hope

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.

Bob Hope

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.

Bob Hope

You've got to be rich to have a swing like that.

Bob Hope

I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.

Bob Hope

I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

Bob Hope

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

Bob Hope

Don't people know that they don't have to heckle the president of the United States? That's what Congress is for.

Bob Hope

Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.

Bob Hope

I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them.

Bob Hope

My secret for staying young is good food, plenty of rest, and a makeup man with a spray gun.

Bob Hope

I love flying. I've been to almost as many places as my luggage.

Bob Hope

Where else but in America could the women's liberation movement take off their bras, then go on TV to complain about their lack of support?

Bob Hope

It's so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets.

Bob Hope

I'll tell 'ya how to stay young: Hang around with older people.

Bob Hope

I don't know what people have against government; they haven't done anything.

Bob Hope

You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up.

Bob Hope

With today's movies, if we took out all the bad language, we'd go back to silent films.

Bob Hope

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

Bob Hope

I can still chase women, only downhill

Bob Hope

I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don't they just print our money with a return address on it?

Bob Hope

Some people put us down. But I still haven't heard of any Americans trying to swim across the border into Mexico!

Bob Hope

Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.

Bob Hope

Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.

Bob Hope

Welcome to the Academy Awards, or, as it's known at my house, Passover.

Bob Hope

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.

Bob Hope

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

Bob Hope

My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They're still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.

Bob Hope

I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.

Bob Hope

I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.

Bob Hope

Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands

Bob Hope

The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.

Bob Hope

I was there. I saw your sons and your husbands, your brothers and your sweethearts. I saw how they worked, played, fought, and lived. I saw some of them die. I saw more courage, more good humor in the face of discomfort, more love in an era of hate and more devotion to duty than could exist under tyranny.

Bob Hope

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

Bob Hope

Don't tempt me, I can resist anything but temptation.

Bob Hope