Top 165 Quotes & Sayings by Bob Newhart

Explore popular quotes and sayings by an American comedian Bob Newhart.

Last updated on September 17, 2024.

George Robert Newhart is an American actor and comedian. He is known for his deadpan and slightly stammering delivery style. Newhart came to prominence in 1960 when his album of comedic monologues, The Button-Down Mind of Bob Newhart, became a bestseller and reached number one on the Billboard pop album chart; it remains the 20th-best selling comedy album in history. The follow-up album, The Button-Down Mind Strikes Back!, was also a success, and the two albums held the Billboard number one and number two spots simultaneously.

American - Comedian | Born: September 5, 1929

Source: Wikipedia

The highest of highs is to have a new routine that you're just breaking in and that's working, and that's - you're one step removed doing a situation comedy because you have a live audience there.

Bob Newhart

I'm glad you can't talk on your cells while the plane is in the air. That would drive me crazy.

Bob Newhart

Probably the best advice I ever got in my life was from the head of the accounting department, Mr. Hutchinson, I believe at the Glidden Company in Chicago, and he told me, 'You really aren't cut out for accounting.'

Bob Newhart

The only way to survive is to have a sense of humour.

Bob Newhart

Don Rickles and I are best friends. I know that might seem strange to those who know Don only by reputation, but somebody has to be his friend. Just to make sure I don't forget, Don gave me a doormat that sits just outside the front door of my house. It reads: 'The Newharts: The Rickleses Best Friends.'

Bob Newhart

I was never a Certified Public Accountant... I just had a degree in accounting. The reason I was never a Certified Public Accountant was because it would require passing a test, which I would not have been able to do.

Bob Newhart

I don't want to sound like the old guy, but cynicism is a potential danger. It colors our way of looking at the world.

Bob Newhart

You shouldn't get too close to the truth, because then maybe you stop being funny.

Bob Newhart

I was not influenced by Jack Benny, and people have remarked on my timing and Jack's timing, but I don't think you can teach timing. It's something you hear in your head.

Bob Newhart

I wasn't the class clown. I wasn't that obvious. There would be a circle of guys, and they're watching the class clown. And I'm standing in the back, and I turn to the guy next to me and I say something funny to him, and he starts to laugh. And the guy next to him says, 'What did he say?'

Bob Newhart

Comedians are never really on vacation because you're always at attention... that antenna is always out there.

Bob Newhart

The schizophrenic has no sense of humor. His world is a constantly daunting, unfriendly place.

Bob Newhart

You're not dead at 85. You're a long way from it. Go out and enjoy. You've earned it.

Bob Newhart

Comedians are innately programmed to pick up oddities like mispronounced words, upside-down books on a shelf, and generally undetectable mistakes in everyday life.

Bob Newhart

When I first started out, 'Time' magazine did an article on what it called 'the sick comics,' and they were myself, Shelley Berman, Nichols & May, Jonathan Winters, Lenny Bruce, and Mort Sahl. We were considered 'sick.'

Bob Newhart

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.

Bob Newhart

I've had time off, and it drove me nuts. I was crawling up the wall.

Bob Newhart

People are meant to be certain places, and I think I'm meant to be on a sound stage doing situation comedy.

Bob Newhart

With the stand-up comic on TV, whether it's Seinfeld or Cosby or Roseanne, more important than their knowledge of how to tell a joke is their knowledge of themselves, or the persona they've created as themselves. So that when you're in a room with writers, you can say, 'Guys, that's a funny line, but I wouldn't say it.'

Bob Newhart

I made a record album in 1960 and it exploded, and I got all these offers for TV.

Bob Newhart

I certainly don't delude myself that there aren't certainly more important things to do in life than make people laugh, but I can't imagine anything that would bring me more joy.

Bob Newhart

The acting is better when you know your material is being judged.

Bob Newhart

I have an aversion to laugh tracks - the moment I hear a laugh track, I go to another channel.

Bob Newhart

I don't think too much about age. Maybe if you're hurting, aching and arthritic, then you think about it a lot. But I don't.

Bob Newhart

I think one reason for a successful marriage is laughter. I think laughter gets you through the rough moments in a marriage.

Bob Newhart

People with a sense of humor tend to be less egocentric and more realistic in their view of the world and more humble in moments of success and less defeated in times of travail.

Bob Newhart

It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves.

Bob Newhart

The greatest comedian I've ever seen is Jack Benny. He wasn't afraid of the silences.

Bob Newhart

All I can say about life is, 'Oh God, enjoy it!'

Bob Newhart

Don't live in the past. There's no point. You can't change anything. What a waste of time.

Bob Newhart

With the advent of cell phones, especially with the very small microphone that attach to the cell phone itself, it's getting harder and harder I find, to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone.

Bob Newhart

I have no intention of retiring; I can't imagine not doing stand-up. That's where I started and where I'll be.

Bob Newhart

I was very political when JFK ran.

Bob Newhart

Mark Twain gave us an insight into the life on the Mississippi at the turn of the century.

Bob Newhart

When I started, I was doing all the good comedians I'd ever seen. Then I developed my own voice. My routines are my natural way of looking at the world.

Bob Newhart

It was a decision to work clean. I just prefer to work that way. I have no problem with comedians who don't work that way. There was a temptation in the early '70s to reconsider. I decided against it.

Bob Newhart

I didn't know I was cool, but I was very flattered that some of the younger comedy writers came up to talk to me at the Emmys. I found that gratifying.

Bob Newhart

If 'The New York Times' says it, it must be true.

Bob Newhart

I remember seeing a movie with Jose Ferrer and Rosemary Clooney where they were husband and wife, and they got in bed, and he had on polka-dot pajamas and she had on striped pajamas, and when they got up the next morning he had on the striped pajamas and she had the polka dot pajamas, and that was considered racy at that time!

Bob Newhart

No matter what hyenas sound like, they are not actually laughing.

Bob Newhart

I think you should be a child for as long as you can. I have been successful for 74 years being able to do that. Don't rush into adulthood, it isn't all that much fun.

Bob Newhart

For some reason, comedians are still children. The social skills somehow never reach us, so we say exactly what we think without weighing the results.

Bob Newhart

I always hated when the studios just kind of said that anybody can act. You look at people like Spencer Tracy, Henry Fonda - and I'm just talking about the male actors - there aren't a lot who can act. It's a very special talent, and I wish it were recognized as a very special talent.

Bob Newhart

Stammering is different than stuttering. Stutterers have trouble with the letters, while stammerers trip over entire parts of a sentence. We stammerers generally think of ourselves as very bright.

Bob Newhart

I always stayed away from political commentary. First of all, I didn't feel entitled. What I may feel about a candidate, I'm a comedian. I mean, if people like my comedy, that doesn't mean they should vote for the person I like. That's why I always kind of stayed away from endorsements.

Bob Newhart

I worked in accounting for two and a half years, realized that wasn't what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, and decided I was just going to give comedy a try.

Bob Newhart

This stammer got me a home in Beverly Hills, and I'm not about to screw with it now.

Bob Newhart

I can't do a one-camera show. I don't know how to do that kind of show where you count in your head and then you do the next line.

Bob Newhart

Dick Martin, if you put a gun to his forehead, he couldn't tell you a joke.

Bob Newhart

I loved 'Everybody Loves Raymond' because I like Ray and I thought it was beautifully cast, I thought it was great writing. I thought Patricia Heaton was wonderful.

Bob Newhart

I found the most difficult thing when you became successful - when I had the record album, it won Album of the Year - that you were cut off from the source of your material. Your material was everyday people, and you were kind of cut off from that, and you had to work at it.

Bob Newhart

When you're going for a joke, you're stuck out there if it doesn't work. There's nowhere to go. You've done the drum role and the cymbal clash and you're out on the end of the plank.

Bob Newhart

A lot of money is spent trying to keep people alive who don't necessarily want to be alive.

Bob Newhart

Chuck Lorre and I had been talking about doing one of his shows for a while. I said I'd like to do 'The Big Bang Theory,' because I think it's the best written, most intelligent show on television.

Bob Newhart

Richard Pryor introduced me to the world of the inner city, and the urban world, and did it hysterically. My favorite comedian, even though we work 180 degrees differently, but funny is funny is funny.

Bob Newhart

I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'.

Bob Newhart

I've been told to speed up my delivery when I perform. But if I lose the stammer, I'm just another slightly amusing accountant.

Bob Newhart

I left 'The Bob Newhart Show,' which was my decision. CBS wanted it to go on. But I could see television changing; I could see the tastes were changing.

Bob Newhart

I think that what comes through in Chicago humor is the affection. Even though you're poking fun at someone or something, there's still an affection for it.

Bob Newhart

I think there's a little confusion between humor and 'gross' passing for humor. That's kind of regrettable, because they aren't the same thing.

Bob Newhart