Top 11 Quotes & Sayings by Burt Prelutsky

If liberals didn't have double standards, they wouldn't have any standards at all.

Finally, it occurs to me that the biggest problem with our elections is that however you vote, you wind up electing a politician.

Attempted murder should carry the same penalty as first-degree murder. Otherwise, you're simply rewarding incompetence.

The best that can be said for those like Senators Nelson and Landrieu is that they held out until Obama and Reid met their price. By now, I can't even recall what it took to make Joe Lieberman say 'Uncle!' But it just goes to prove that when politicians like these three refer to themselves as moderate Democrats, we should recognize that it's similar to the distinction made in a related field when call girls insist they're not streetwalkers. It's the same profession; only the prices differ.

The main problem with pacifism is that it doesn’t work in all situations. The main problem with pacifists is that they’re convinced it does.

Where taxes are concerned, there are two clear-cut points of view. There are those who think they're too high and those who think they should be even higher because, after all, politicians spend our money far more wisely than we do. The obvious solution I'd propose is that the people in the first group would pay less and those in the second group would pay more. Lots more.

In California, thieves have three choices: They can go to prison, Sacramento, or Washington D.C.

We are well on our way to becoming a banana republic in every respect except, of course, that we don't grow bananas.

These self-anointed intellectuals are people who think that those who believe in God and Jesus Christ, those who 'cling to their guns and their religion,' are a lower form of animal life, while they, themselves, have no problem whatever accepting Obama as a messiah and, in the past, deifying the likes of Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton. Let's face it, when you kneel in a church, you're accepting that there is something greater and wiser than yourself in the universe. When, on the other hand, you kneel to a left-wing politician, you're merely emulating Monica Lewinsky.

It seems to me that if you can't make a good solid case for your faith, you don't have a religion, you just have a habit.

Surely something must be terribly wrong with a man who seems to be far more concerned with Jews building houses in Israel than with Muslims building a nuclear bomb in Iran.