Top 278 Quotes & Sayings by Charles M. Schulz - Page 4

Nobody gave me what I wanted for my birthday! Nobody! What sort of presents do you call these? New shoes, a green sweater and a bunch of stupid toys!" "What were you expecting?" "Real estate!

Five hundred years from now, who'll know the difference?!

The only thing I ever wanted to be was a cartoonist. That's my Life. DRAWING.

You can't write a term paper before breakfast.

There's nothing like unrequited love to take all the flavor out of a peanut butter sandwich.

How is the birdhouse coming along, Charlie Brown?" "Well, I'm a lousy carpenter, I can't nail straight, I can't saw straight and I always split the wood... I'm nervous, I lack confidence, I'm stupid, I have poor taste and absolutely no sense of design... So, all things considered, it's coming along okay!

Schroeder, do you think love is the answer to everything?" "Boy, I hope not!

I was jumping rope. Everything was fine. And then suddenly everything seemed so futile.

I want to know about life! I want some real answers..." "Five." "Five?!" "I thought that was a pretty good answer!

Cartooning is preaching. And I think we have a right to do some preaching. I hate shallow humor. I hate shallow religious humor, I hate shallow sports humor, I hate shallowness of any kind.

Life is too short not to live it up a little!

The secret to speed-reading is moving your lips faster.

I just draw what I think is funny, and I hope other people think it is funny, too.

Little brothers are the buck privates of life!

Sometimes I think my soul is full of weeds!

There is no greater burden than great potential.

Love is not knowing what you're talking about.

That's the only dog I know who can smell someone just thinking about food.

It won't do you any good to run if you're running the wrong way. I've developed a new philosophy...I only dread one day at a time.

What's the sense in having an eclipse if you can't look at it? Somebody in production sure slipped up this time!

Happiness is loving your enemies.

I’m torn between the desire to create and the desire to destroy.

Mom put a note in my lunch again, I see... Dear son, I hope you will study hard in summer school... Do not look upon it as a punishment, but rather as a privilege... We are very proud of you, and want you to have a good education. This note will self-destruct in five seconds.

Linus: It was a short summer, Charlie Brown. Charlie Brown: And it looks like it's gonna be a looong winter.

Beethoven can't really be great because his picture isn't on a bubble gum card.

The crabby little girls of today are the crabby old women of tomorrow!

I fall in love with any girl who smells of library paste.

I enjoy looking at your face... Whenever I look at your face, a question always comes to my mind... Will man ever succeed in reaching the moon?

Snoopy didn't start off being a Beagle. It's just that 'beagle' is a funny word.

The rain washed away my pitcher's mound... I'm a pitcher without a mound... I'm a lost soul... I'm like a politician out of office." "Or a sailor without an ocean..." "Or a boy without a girl.

I don't believe in school prayer. I think it's total nonsense...who is the teacher there that is going to have them pray? And is the teacher going to be Catholic or Mormon or Episcopalian or what? It just causes all sorts of problems. And what are the kids praying about anyway? Does it really matter, does praying in school...what are you doing it for? The whole thing just opens up all sorts of elements of discussion. I think it's crazy.

I've tried to be a better person... I've tried, and tried and tried! You know how hard I've tried! Tell me how I've tried..." "Nice try... Five cents, please!

Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Brownest.

If you're going to draw a comic strip every day, you're going to have to draw on every experience in your life.

Dearest darling, how I love you. Words cannot tell how much I love you. So forget it.

I'm depressed! I'm completely depressed! I am firmly convinced that there is no one in this world who really likes me!" "So what else is new?

I just don't know how to write a love letter. What can you say to a girl that shows you really like her?" "How about, enclosed please find a cookie?

Dear Sweetheart, do you ever think of me? Just the other day I was thinking of you. I'm pretty sure it was you.

Here I am flying high over enemy lines in my Sopwith Camel searching for the Red Baron. Who's that behind me? It's the Red Baron! He has me in his sights! Give my regards to Broadway.

On a beautiful day like this it would be best to stay in bed so you wouldn't get up and spoil it!

A bean bag is a perfect place to sulk. You can sink way down deep, and sulk for hours... You only have to stick your head up once in a while... to see if anybody cares.

How can I play baseball when I'm worried about foreign policy?

I despise those shallow religious comics. Dennis the Menace, for instance, is the most shallow. When they show him praying - I just can't stand that sort of thing, talking to God about some cutesy thing that he'd done during the day. I don't think Hank Ketcham has any deep knowledge of things like that.

That stupid Charlie Brown! He had the nerve to say I'm not perfect!" "So I suppose you hit him, huh?" "Rats! I knew I forgot something!

Sometimes, when you walk by the home of the girl you love, you can see her standing by the window... She waves at you, and you wave back... But it's her grandmother.

A beep on the nose is a sign of great affection.

If I stand here, I can see the Little Red Haired girl when she comes out of her house... Of course, if she sees me peeking around this tree, she'll think I'm the dumbest person in the world... But if I don't peek around the tree, I'll never see her... Which means I probably AM the dumbest person in the world... which explains why I'm standing in a batch of poison oak.

If I were a better artist, I'd be a painter, and if I were a better writer, I'd write books.. but I'm not, so I draw cartoons!

A glacier will frequently move forward one foot while retreating three feet... Which reminds me a lot of myself!

It was a dark and stormy night. - Snoopy

Duck, big brother! Here comes another day!

What happened to fun?" "Our insurance doesn't cover it!

Why is it that you don't love me?" "Sometimes I wish I knew..." "Don't anybody tell him!!

Love is a letter on pink stationery.

Dear Valentine, I have thought of you often. Not all the time, but often.

All you require is adore. But just a little chocolate at times will not damage.

I feel sorry for little babies... When a little baby is born into this cold world, he's confused! He's frightened! He needs something to cheer him up... The way I see it, as soon as a baby is born, he should be issued a banjo!

The early bird gets the worm but the late bird doesn't even get the late worm.

LINUS: Where are you going for Thanksgiving, Charlie Brown? CHARLIE: My father, my mother, Sally, and I are all going to my grandmothers for dinner. SALLY: Do you want to come too, Linus? We can hold hands under the table. LINUS: BLECH!

You can't survive by sucking the juice from a wet mitten.