Top 366 Quotes & Sayings by Chelsea Handler

Explore popular quotes and sayings by an American comedian Chelsea Handler.

Last updated on November 23, 2024.

Chelsea Joy Handler is an American comedian, actress, writer, television host, and producer. She hosted the late-night talk show Chelsea Lately on the E! network from 2007 to 2014 and released a documentary series, Chelsea Does, on Netflix in January 2016. During 2016 and 2017, Handler hosted the talk show Chelsea on Netflix.

American - Comedian | Born: February 25, 1975

Source: Wikipedia

I'm actually a big fan of Kathy Griffin because I think she's really funny. I think she's really self-deprecating, which is something I like to see in a comedian. I think those are really the best comedians: people who can make fun of themselves.

Chelsea Handler

You either become like your parents or you become the opposite of your parents. And I like to think that I'm the opposite of my parents.

Chelsea Handler

Can you imagine peaking as a teen? I think if you peak in high school, there's a problem. That's what my sister always said: 'Don't worry, you'll peak later.'

Chelsea Handler

There's a difference between racism and people making a joke about something. There is true racism going on, and people should be able to identify what that is, comparatively.

Chelsea Handler

I try not to cheat on my boyfriends when I have them.

Chelsea Handler

Everything isn't permanent, so don't pretend that it is. Everything's supposed to move and shift.

Chelsea Handler

The challenge is to keep it fresh. If you're talking about Britney Spears over and over, it's very hard to keep that interesting.

Chelsea Handler

I've always had a problem with authority. That's why I had to be my own boss.

Chelsea Handler

I encourage interoffice romance.

Chelsea Handler

Jews are underdogs - not in my world, obviously, they're not.

Chelsea Handler

Some men are just disgusted with me and think I should have my mouth sewn shut.

Chelsea Handler

I think nudity is funny, especially when it's inappropriate.

Chelsea Handler

There's a lot of pretty funny women out there.

Chelsea Handler

I'm not superstitious at all. I'm not a Russian.

Chelsea Handler

That's my biggest struggle, is maintaining a personal romantic relationship. It takes a lot of effort.

Chelsea Handler

Seeing your parents fall apart is really rough. I wouldn't wish it on anybody.

Chelsea Handler

I love Sandra Bullock. I think everybody loves her.

Chelsea Handler

I was broke from 19 to 26, borrowing money from my parents or my brothers or sisters every week to pay the bills.

Chelsea Handler

I think comedy has to come from your authentic point of view.

Chelsea Handler

There was never a moment when I was like, 'I'm going to enter the public conversation on the importance of female nudity.'

Chelsea Handler

There are some really interesting celebrities and people who are fun to interview, but when you have to do it every day because you have to fill a slot, the allure wears off.

Chelsea Handler

The whole point of remaining on cable is to remain true to who I am. That's a bad, bad girl that got a big job.

Chelsea Handler

Everywhere I go, people ask me about Jennifer Aniston's wedding. Everywhere I go. I always say to her, I'm like, 'Being friends with you is a burden. You think it's hard to be friends with me?'

Chelsea Handler

We women have to stick together.

Chelsea Handler

I've always had a big personality. I was trickier as a kid. I behaved erratically instead of consistently. I would have tons of friends, and then I would have no friends. I'd be with the cool girls, then the uncool girls. I migrated from group to group because I was bored or people got bored with me. I was very intense.

Chelsea Handler

Don't think about anything for too long. Even if it's off-the-wall, go for it. You'll have a lot more fun in life.

Chelsea Handler

I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter.

Chelsea Handler

I've always been exactly who I am on TV. I'm not playing a role.

Chelsea Handler

I think pregnancy is a huge responsibility.

Chelsea Handler

I try not to apologize, especially publicly. That's a slippery slope, because I'm a comedian. If you take anything I'm saying too seriously, then you shouldn't be paying attention in the first place. If you find me offensive, don't follow me.

Chelsea Handler

There are times I felt insecure or not sure: I'm unsure of myself, or I get nervous, but nerves are good. I try and embrace all those things. I try and embrace the times where I'm not sure of myself or I'm like, 'Is this going to work? Is this going to land?'

Chelsea Handler

I'm not friends with any of my exes, and I've never understood the appeal.

Chelsea Handler

You look at, like, a 'People' magazine, which used to be a really good, you know, nice magazine you could go to for real stories. It wasn't like a 'Star' or an 'US Weekly' and they have somebody with plastic surgery on the cover, Heidi Montag. And it's obviously what consumers want, because why else would they be doing it?

Chelsea Handler

It's a dream come true to have someone else portray me. Because I've been living this life for a long time, and I'm over myself.

Chelsea Handler

I didn't become a comedian to work this hard.

Chelsea Handler

I don't have a lot of shame. That doesn't mean I can't feel bad about the way someone reacts to me or about something I read about myself online. But I don't have a lot of guilt, no. I've always been this way. I'm missing a chip.

Chelsea Handler

It takes me a while to get my appetite going when I wake up early.

Chelsea Handler

Every time I had a book come out, I'm like, 'Is it going to be number one?'

Chelsea Handler

I'm a devilish kind of person, but I embrace it. I don't try to fight it. It's proven very well for me.

Chelsea Handler

It's a pleasure to play my sister because everything I've accused her of my whole life, I can now re-enact before her eyes.

Chelsea Handler

I'm a standup comedian, so I need people.

Chelsea Handler

I don't like speaking publicly when I don't have to be funny.

Chelsea Handler

I like to have a home for people just to have a lot of fun.

Chelsea Handler

I'm into politics, and I love watching the heavier news magazine shows.

Chelsea Handler

People ask me why I'm so hard on men. It's because they've gotten a really easy ride. And it's not that I think women should take over the world. But I do think it should be 50/50.

Chelsea Handler

You can't fast-forward heartbreak, and you can't rewind love - and that's just one big bummer.

Chelsea Handler

I love a stupid joke, something that doesn't make any sense.

Chelsea Handler

Have you ever been sued by a midget? It's not fun.

Chelsea Handler

I like being able to, you know, pack up and leave the country and hop on a plane and go wherever I want and stay wherever and bring my friends with me and bring my family on vacation. That's amazing.

Chelsea Handler

I never considered myself a supermodel or anything like that. I mean, I don't think I'm ugly. I have good days and bad days, and I like when I'm fit and lean and all of those things that any woman likes, but it's not the eye of the hurricane for me.

Chelsea Handler

If you're a member of my family, whether immediate or extended, and you want to see my show, don't.

Chelsea Handler

I was tortured, and probably half of it was deserved, but I was bullied - so much so that there were days when I was like, 'I can't go to school today.' I was too scared.

Chelsea Handler

I don't pretend to be a great interviewer; I don't even pretend to be good at my job.

Chelsea Handler

I'm not trying to be a role model to kids, because I don't have any children, but I do think everyone should have a free spirit.

Chelsea Handler

I was the youngest of six kids, and my brothers and sisters were kind of a lot older than me. And the one sister that was, like, in a close age range - she was five years older than me. She was my closest sister in age, and she was a loser.

Chelsea Handler

The love that comes from friendship is the underlying facet of a happy life.

Chelsea Handler

TMZ is so disgusting.

Chelsea Handler

MTV is known for their huge budget.

Chelsea Handler

I don't think I'm a good host. I'm not a good host. I'm terrible at hosting. That's my problem.

Chelsea Handler

I like to celebrate my life. I have a life that I'm really lucky to have, and so I want to make sure every minute counts and that I go on great vacations and I share my memories with people that I love and that will make me laugh and lalalalalala.

Chelsea Handler

Top 366 Quotes & Sayings by Chelsea Handler

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