Top 117 Quotes & Sayings by Dan Jenkins

I don't suppose anybody's ever enjoyed being who they are more than Arnold's enjoyed being Arnold Palmer.

I love Twitter.

Among the many things that have slipped up on me while my back was turned are all of these challenging and well-manicured public courses that have sprung up across America with elegant bars and restaurants.

Golf is 90% mental. Once you know how to hold the club, swing it, it's all in the mind.

Title IX came along and changed a lot of things for the better, but nevertheless, it meant that money became more important.

Fort Worth is friendly; it's still a Texas town. It's the most Texas city in Texas.

I hate political correctness.

I don't cover golf tournaments anymore - I preside over them.

I actually don't have a single regret, professionally or domestically. I planned it that way.

My life has been very lucky, but I made some of that luck.

Jack Nicklaus is the greatest winner I've ever seen.

When I was a lad in my 20s, as carefree and debonair as any other underpaid newspaperman, I happened to be a golfer who could flirt with par fairly often, and I was adventurous enough in those days to play any known or unknown thief who showed up at Goat Hills for whatever amount he fancied.

The greatly anticipated 2009 Masters was like going to a Broadway hit and finding out that the star, Sir Tiger Woods, was off that night, and his replacement was the cab driver who dropped you off at the theater.

Locker rooms and grill rooms are still the best places to find out things you don't know - at the Masters or any other golf tournament.

I don't have contempt for Tiger Woods.

I'd follow Ben Hogan and Byron Nelson anywhere.

Presidents are nice people. They're nice, fun-loving people who have great jobs.

There's nothing anyone can do about Tiger Woods but look at his game and swoon.

The key to any good sports story is identifying the defining moment. In football games or a boxing match, it's usually pretty obvious. But in golf, sometimes it happens on Thursday. Usually it's Sunday, but guys who don't know the game, they can miss it.

I used to never miss the 'New Yorker' or 'New York.' Now I never bother.

There are no Dave Marrs anymore.

There have been so many great tournaments that I've been privileged to see, and people paid me to go watch, that I'm awfully grateful for it.

The first thing they gave me at 'Sports Illustrated' was a first-class air card. 'And oh, by the way, there's the petty cash drawer,' they told me. 'Take a few thousand dollars for expenses.'

My aunt got me interested in journalism - she found an old typewriter, had it worked over, put it on the dining room table, gave me a stack of paper and said, 'Play like you're a writer.'

I think newspapers will survive in some form or another.

Nobody can make a putt that breaks to the right. It's unnatural. Unless you're left-handed, of course. Standing over a putt that breaks to the right can actually make you dizzy. I've long thought that right-breaking putts are a major contributor to mental and physical ill health.

If you see a player out in public having dinner, chances are he's with his boring money manager or some boring rich guy he hopes to design a golf course for.

Putting is not an art, it's a dreaded evil. No wise man ever said that.

When you're a fledgling youth-type adult, it appears that all people in their 40s look old enough to be in a painting hanging on the wall of a stately home in England. It's not until you limp into your 70s that people in their 40s look too young to vote, and college cheerleaders closely resemble Yorkshire terriers.

Anybody can make jokes. But unless they come from conviction, and there's truth in them, you haven't nailed it. They aren't as funny as they could be, and they don't make a point.

All I've ever done is try to get at the truth of the matter.

My real heroes have always been sportswriters.

CEOs are worried they're going to get fired any minute. They're worried about their portfolios.

Kids flew B-17s in daylight bombing raids over Germany in World War II. Kids fought in Korea and Vietnam.

The devoted golfer is an anguished soul who has learned a lot about putting just as an avalanche victim has learned a lot about snow.

Golf was never a religion to me.

Even as a little kid, I was fascinated by newspapers and magazines. They were my TV. I'd be the first one up to grab the morning paper, mainly to look at the sports pictures, the war pictures.

I don't know how television or radio is going to survive without newspapers because that's where they get all their news. It's going to be hopeless.

A sportswriter's life means never sitting with your wife or family at the games. Still working after everyone has gone to the party... Digging beneath a coach's lies, not to forget those of athletic directors and general managers and owners of pro teams. Keeping a confidence. Risking it.

I get 'USA Today,' the 'New York Times,' 'Wall Street Journal' and the 'Star-Telegram' at my doorstep. I can't do without them.

I probably remember the 1954 Masters more vividly than any of the others.

There have been so many great moments in golf that you even forget some of them.

I think a great athlete transcends eras.

My favorite sport, frankly, is college football. I'm a college football junkie, even though I'm associated with golf and like golf and have played it all my life.

Sally Jenkins of the 'Washington Post' is the best sports columnist in the country. Second best is Gene Wojciechowski of ESPN.com, and third is Dan Wetzel on Yahoo!

Just think about it: what in the name of God would Alabama be without the University of Alabama? What would Oklahoma be without the University of Oklahoma? Nothing.

I just come from a school where you have to win something to be accepted.

You can't have a U.S. Open anymore without an extra course to store all the hospitality tents. I used to be able to drive up to the clubhouse and park like the players. Now, there are seven corporate hospitality guys who have my spot, and I'm on a bus.

The reason I wrote about women's golf is because I've helped out some with the Kathy Whitworth Cup, a tournament they have in Fort Worth every year where they invite 60 of the best junior golfers in the country and even some foreign players.

Valet parking is an essential at any decent club.

Players don't usually like anybody who makes more money than they do.

I can only tell you that eggs, country ham, biscuits, a pot of coffee, a morning paper, a table by the window overlooking the veranda and putting green, listening to the idle chitchat of competitors, authors, wits and philosophers, hasn't exactly been a torturous way to begin each day at the Masters all these years.

In a story, you have to have a theme and an angle, you have to have a beginning, middle and an end. You have to have a defining moment and kick it to death. You gotta be able to recognize that, by the way. It probably takes experience.

Tiger Woods was a month away from 34 years of age when his debutantes began turning up in the news. He was a grown man with a wife and two children. Well, we supposed he had a wife, but that was before we learned she was only an ornament.

Real golf is the 20 million people who play once a week or once a month.

Here's all I know about Dubai: It's one of those somewhere-over-there places where they make sand.

I've worked my whole life and never missed a deadline.

Something mystical happens to every writer who goes to the Masters for the first time, some sort of emotional experience that results in a search party having to be sent out to recover his typewriter from a clump of azaleas.

Everybody in the Olympics is paid. Lindsay Vonn is going to make a million dollars whether she skis or not.

I'd rather be doing something than not doing something.