Top 82 Quotes & Sayings by David Spade - Page 2

I changed my act because I wasn't getting booked.

I don't like throwing myself in a place that's going to rock my world.

I'm still blow drying my hair, just trying to keep doing stuff that's fun.

Now that I have the opportunities to do a lot, I want to do less.

Spent most of the summer looking for shade. Driving around. Shade. Please? Driving in malls. I'll park a mile away I don't care. I'm just looking for a tree branch, anything. Long weed. Big leaf, get the front corner panel under it. Oh precious shade, I have it - you don't!

It's hard for your mom to tell you she has an oral fixation and has to have something in her mouth. My step dad is in the kitchen winking at me. You down with OPP, yeah you know me. Exciting is and a special... What? Easy, and why do you know all the words? That's weird.

There are a couple hard things. One, getting a funny idea that people can relate to; a funny idea or a funny script; there's a million pitches.

On Sundays, I lay low, sulk a lot, and try to get my head together for next week.

My older brother was cool, so I was suddenly cool by association. And I totally dusted all my old math friends.

I wish I had that carefree lifestyle. But I guess I'm more private, and more inside.

It wasn't a cutdown to call someone a Mexican. It would kill my career to refer to someone as Mexican today. It's like calling me an American.

When my stepfather died, I just kind of fell apart. I felt pretty vulnerable, like there literally could be no tomorrow.

When I'm interviewed on Leno, just be funny, period. That's all they want from me. I don't want to tell my life story.

As boys get older, they can't let on that it's cool to meet me.

MySpace is a great way to keep in touch with friends who you don't care enough about to actually have a conversation with, why bother calling to say "how are you," when you can just surf their page and post an mpeg of a guy farting on his cat.

I have two skateboards, but I don't get to use them much. I have a snowboard, which I've never used.

Hopefully, underlying all my jokes is an element of surprise.

I'm scared of slipping up, of just doing a joke that makes me laugh.

I started doing the star turn and making a profit off it. Now I'm kind of one of them.

I've been with a beautiful girl from time to time.

A friend of Nicole Ritchie told the New York Post that Nicole is definitely pregnant.

People come and go around you, but you're never the one getting the big stuff. I like that.