Top 154 Quotes & Sayings by Diablo Cody - Page 3

Juno MacGuff: You can never have too many of your favorite one calorie breath mints.

Of course, the strippers also take pains not to appear too innocent, valorous, or bookishly inclined. (In direct opposition to the Swayze Mandate of 1987, everybody puts Baby in a goddamn corner.)

I don't know if I have some kind of defiance disorder or something, but if I'm hired to write something by "The Man," or by a studio, for whatever reason, it's really hard for me to finish. I inevitably wind up using that time to write something else.

He wasn’t a carrier of commitment-phobia or other notable boy diseases and he used expensive moisturizer. That’s about all it takes to bang my gong.

People say 'teenage girls aren't so clever. Your characters should be less articulate to reflect our youth.' People who say that aren't spending time with teenagers.

If being an attractive woman got you attention for directing, then the entire best director category would be comprised of models. To me, that is just the most ludicrous connection that you could make.

Love is mysterious and rad, like Steve Perry from Journey

If this whole writing thing doesn't work out, I'll be getting right back on the pole.

I know most people don't like to be around teenagers but I do. I'm one of the only people I can think of who can't wait for my kid to be a teenager. I think being a teenager is one of the most wonderful things in the world. I really enjoyed it - just this heightened emotional state where everything is beautiful and everything is new and you're convinced that you're really going to break the mould and be different from your parents. And the best part is that you have so much more time that you didn't have as a child.

Gas Attendant: "Thata ain't no etch-a-sketch. Thats one doodle that can't be un-did home skillet.

Jeez banana! Shut your freaking gob!

Shoulda gone to China. They give away babies like free iPods. They put them in guns and shoot them out at sporting events.

I've been an avid consumer of young adult literature since I was one, and I think some people leave that stuff behind when they become old adults, but I never did. I was always interested in the fantasy world created in those novels.

I usually try not to think about actors while writing, because the odds of those stars aligning and you getting those specific people are so rare.

I try to avoid Twitter. I occasionally can't resist the siren call of email.

I'm a pessimist by nature. I don't think things are ever going to work out, I'm not particularly ambitious.

I've never even seen a great set fight or a great set meltdown. I seem to always be on these incredibly relaxed sets.

I am a karaoke purist and I don't like that. I don't think it's enough for you to just be there with your friends singing. I think you need to be in front of a crowd of hostile strangers for it to truly count.

Bren MacGuff: Well, honey, doctors are sadists who like to play God and watch lesser people scream.

The things that I write are autobiographical in a surreal sense, like when you have a dream and you go to the doctor's office, but then you turn around and it's actually your childhood home and the doctor has turned into Ryan Reynolds.

Juno MacGuff: [yelling through the house] Dad? Mac MacGuff: What? Juno MacGuff: Either I just peed my pants or um... Mac MacGuff: *Or*...? Juno MacGuff: THUNDERCATS ARE GO!

I have a huge repertoire. I love karaoke.

The attitude toward women in this industry is nauseating. There are all sorts of porcine executives who are uncomfortable with a woman doing anything subversive. They want the movie about the beautiful girl who trips and falls, the adorable klutz.

Nah... I mean, I'm already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?

Juno MacGuff: Wise move. I know this girl who had a huge crazy freakout because she took too many behavioral meds at once. She took off all her clothes and jumped into the fountain at Ridgedale Mall and she was like, "Blaaaaah! I'm a kraken from the sea!" Su-Chin: That was you.

This is for the writers. I want to thank all the writers. I especially want to thank my fellow nominees because I worship you guys and I'm learning from you every day.

Juno: Honest to blog?

I have a lot of screenwriter friends and many of them have had an experience where they aren't even welcome on set during production.

Above the stage was a glass-floored second stage, which allowed customers to look up and watch another girl dancing overhead. This multidimensional display of poontang reminded me of the 3-D chessboard on Star Trek, which in turn reminded me that I was a huge nerd.

I think when you take people who are damaged and you give them money and freedom, it can be a toxic cocktail.

When I do encounter young women or aspiring filmmakers who tell me that I've inspired them or that my work means something to them, that's amazing. That's really exciting!

Thanks a heap coyote ugly. This cactus-gram stings worse than your abandonment.

Vodka Redbull: Upper meets downer in an effervescent hybrid of bubble gum and junkie piss

Juno MacGuff: I was out handling things way beyond my maturity level.