Top 221 Quotes & Sayings by Don Rickles
Explore popular quotes and sayings by an American comedian Don Rickles.
Last updated on December 23, 2024.
Most people think the character I do onstage is the way I am offstage, but I'm just a regular guy who spends time with his family and who turns on the television and watches a lot of sports.
If I have learned anything, it is to keep my wife happy by sending her lavish gifts. Other men can learn from my success and send their wives and girlfriends fresh flowers for birthdays, anniversaries, and of course, Valentine's Day.
When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last.
Don't call me 'sir; 'King Jew' will do fine.
Whatever you do to gain success, you have to hang in there and hope good things happen. Always think positive.
You throw your best punch, otherwise don't do it.
I used to play golf. I wanted to be a better player, but after a while, I realized I'd always stink. And that's when I really started to enjoy the game.
I was in World War II; I cried when they took me in the Navy. That's the last time I cried.
In our day we went from - we went into saloons. We couldn't cross over like you can today, get a television series and all of a sudden you're a major movie star, you know.
An 'insult comic' is the title I was given. What I do is exaggeration. I make fun of people, at life, of myself and my surroundings.
Asians are nice people, but they burn a lot of shirts.
I was nice to the people in the Philippines for the two and a half years I was there, because I knew eventually I'd have to kiss up to them so my grandchildren could have toys.
The inaugural of Ronald Reagan, with Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin. And that was the greatest thing. Ronald Reagan and George Bush. That was - I still remember like it was yesterday.
When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket.
I don't like to compare myself with anybody.
Italians are fantastic people, really. They can work you over in an alley while singing an opera.
My mother was a big influence. She kept pushing me because I was very shy and inhibited. And schoolwork was very difficult for me because I couldn't concentrate. I was failing almost every subject. To this day, I'm not too good at reading a book. But I was the president of my high school comedy group, and they treated me like a king.
In the 45 years I've worked in casinos, I dreamed of being honored by an organization like the American Gaming Association, especially since I don't even have a hunting license.
I have no idea what I'm going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anything I say I find funny.
If I were to insult people and mean it, that wouldn't be funny.
I'm very shy so I became very outgoing to protect my shyness.
Smartphones. Who cares? Smartphones. I only have dummy phones.
Some people say funny things, but I say things funny.
I don't drink much anymore, but when I traveled with Frank Sinatra, God rest his soul, I used to drink like I could do it. He made it a test. In Vegas, the Rat Pack, which I was a little part of, drank all night and slept most of the day. Then, about 5 o'clock, we'd meet in the hotel steam room, lock the door, and steam our brains out.
I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.
I did a few movies, but the word 'star'... I cannot compare to a star like Clint Eastwood. I used to call Clint 'Larry Dickman' when he would come to my show; then, he started using the name when he would go under cover in a 'Dirty Harry' movie. That's why he's a movie star... he's so creative.
Eddie Fisher married to Elizabeth Taylor is like me trying to wash the Empire State Building with a bar of soap.
I don't walk into a dinner party and say, 'You're an idiot; give me my coat.'
I have a wonderful road manager, and he travels with me. And my valet and friend travels with me. My little entourage is great, and they take good care of me.
Everything I've ever done in my whole career, people might not know, I've never written anything down on paper.
It takes many years to be a great comedian.
You lose your energy, you lose that excitement and it gets the audience up.
You got to have a lot of courage. Secondly, whatever it is you're doing, you have to believe in it wholeheartedly. Thirdly, you have to be able to stand up in front of people and know that they'll laugh.
Everything I've performed has been from my own head.
I like to think I'm like the guy who goes to the office Christmas party Friday night, insults some people, but still has his job Monday morning.
Political correctness? In my humor, I never talk about politics. I was never much into all that.
I was a big shot in high school - big into social events and at the dramatic society - and I always had trouble in school. Not because I was a dummy, but I was always busy being the Jackson Heights clown.
I've been hot, I've been lukewarm, I've been freezing, but I've always been a headliner.
I couldn't sell air conditioners on a 98-degree day. When I demonstrated them in a showroom, I pushed the wrong button and blew the circuit.
Sinatra had a lot of mood swings, but he was wonderful to my wife Barbara and to me. He made no bones about who he liked and who he loved, and he had this great charisma. When he walked into a room, it stopped. I've only seen that happen with Ronald Reagan.
I never went out looking for glory.
Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed.
My whole act is off the top of my head.
I stopped smoking. But my personality I still have. I get up in the morning, and not everybody loves me, so if you want to call that a bad habit, there's that.
The old days were the old days. And they were great days. But now is now.
You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude.
I did a picture 40 years ago with Carroll O'Connor and Telly Savalas, God rest their souls, and Clint Eastwood, called 'Kelly's Heroes,' which we filmed in Yugoslavia for six months.
I was sitting in the toilet and I was by myself. I was tired of playing with the roller, so I said I'd better write a book.
One thing a comedian does, when you step on the stage, you're selling yourself, and certainly I don't think the whole world can love you. But if you can get the majority on your side, you're really in business.
An insult is mean or unkind. Milton Berle called me the Sultan of Insult, and I was called the King of Insult. But the guy that gave me the best title - and I use it to this day - was Johnny Carson. He called me Mr. Warmth.
My wife came into my life, and my mother still wanted to be the boss.
When I walk down the street in New York, I swear to God, the building constructor, the guy pounding cement and what not, will yell, 'Hey, you hockey puck!'
Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?
I spent two and a half years in the Philippines in World War II.
Many, many years ago, I stood on the stage and told bad jokes and did Sophie Tucker as an impersonation, and nobody looked up; and suddenly, I looked down and said, 'Sir, I'm getting fed up with you. Either you watch, or I'm going to suck your neck,' or words to that effect, and suddenly people started to laugh.
You know what's funny to me? Attitude.
We were Orthodox Jews, but we really didn't deserve it. I mean, bacon - my father said, 'Don't put bacon in the house,' but we had bacon. We didn't keep kosher. And we observed which today would be Conservative Jews. But in those days, we belonged to an Orthodox temple. So we made out we were Orthodox Jews, but we really weren't.
My father was an insurance man and a small-time gambler. He was a good man, but he had an eye for the racehorses, and I saw how it used to bother my mother. I've never gambled a dime. Never, in all those years in Vegas.
Struggling is hard because you never know what's at the end of the tunnel.
I was 28 when my father died, and I was an only child.
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