Top 149 Quotes & Sayings by Drew Carey - Page 3

Isn't it amazing that the Germans call their city halls 'rat houses'? That's what we should call our city halls!

I never thought I was a libertarian until I picked up Reason magazine and realized I agree with everything they had printed.

Look, this is an odd question, but you're kind of cute and you're pretty nice to me. Are you drunk? It's OK if you are.

Violence doesn't solve anything? World War I. World War II. Star Wars. Every Super Bowl. Who says violence doesn't solve anything?

You know what I worry about? I worry that when I hit my head, it pushes my hair into my brain, and it will eventually kill me.

It should be up to each bar owner and patron to decide if they want to smoke or not.

Trust me, kids - your homework can wait. Don't need to be doing homework while Whose Line is on; skip it!

Just because a guy has a shaved head, pierced nipples, and doesn't have sex with women doesn't make him gay. It just makes him down on his luck.

The difference between Las Vegas and Atlantic City is the difference between getting conned by a beautiful call girl and getting mugged by a crack head.

I had no problem going into retirement mode, ... I do what other retired guys do. I putter around the house and travel.

My cranky cardiologist says I'm destined to die in the kitchen.

Green Screen was a total experiment. I'm glad we did it, but it was just tough on that network to get it going.

What right does a politician have to tell me what I can and cannot watch? Change the channel if you don't like what's on TV!

Who ever thought that the world-famous Captain Obvious was really mild-mannered Colin Mochrie?

I have a position of indirect respect and oblique power.

The TV season is a year-long thing now, and the networks are starting to look at it that way, thanks to cable, satellites, and competition.

It sucks being fat, you know.

The less [government] the better.

Sometimes I like [being famous], sometimes I don't. I've always been a people watcher. I like to go to malls and just sit, and I can't do that very easily anymore.

The laughs are honestly bigger, ... They are the kind of unexpected belly laughs you get with your friends during conversation.

Funniest thing happened though, you wouldn't believe it, ha, the mannequins came to life. I went insane.

The best thing about Las Vegas is that no one pretends to be responsible for your behavior like they do in the rest of the country. There's no meddling self-righteous liberals or right-wing Christian demagogues telling you that you can't do something fun with your own time and money. If you can afford it, it's yours.

I loved the old stories in National Lampoon, like the original story the movie Vacation was based on. I used to laugh at them until I cried.

I honestly think that it automatically hurts me if I said that I supported the war in Iraq and I support the troops. That automatically kills me for getting a bunch of movies, a bunch of television shows. People don't want to hear from me.

I can't do that. I'm already the single guy living in his parents' house. I can't be seen digging a grave in the middle of the night.

Eating crappy food isn't a reward -- it's a punishment.

I remember when I took a temp job... so I got a job at a department store. Something temporary to put on my resume, my parents said. Yeah... till I die!

The economy is in trouble, schools are in trouble, and people have been leaving the city in droves for a long, long time.

One day I was running around playing with my son Connor when afterwards I was sweating, tired and out of breath. I was embarrassed that something as enjoyable as playing with my son was so tough for me to do. Immediately I started an extensive diet and exercise plan. It completely changed my life and helped cure my Type-2 diabetes.