Top 50 Quotes & Sayings by Ed O'Neill

When I read the pilot 'for Married with Children', it just reminded me of my Uncle Joe... just a self-deprecating kind of guy. He'd come home from work, and the wife would maybe say 'I ran over the dog this morning in the driveway'. And he would say 'Fine, what's for dinner?

I took a plane from New York City to Los Angeles for an audition. I met all the people. After that, I was told to have another audition, but I didn't want to go there again.

My goal was never to win awards. Mine was let me get to a place where I don't have to work. I don't have to do anything I don't want to.

I always found that drama, really good drama, has a lot of comedy in it.

I had done some acting in high school. I was terrible.

I channel surf like probably most people.

I was in Africa once. I was in Kenya. I got off the plane, and I thought, 'Africa...' Some guy in a dashiki said, 'Mr. Bundy. Oh my God, it's you.'

In the summer we graduated we flipped out completely, drinking beer, cruising in our cars and beating up each other. It was a crazy summer. That's when I started to be interested in girls.

When you come from where I come from, you're trying to get approval for something - you don't know what.

Security was another reason. You never know what can happen to you when you earn a lot of money.

I've always considered myself one of the luckiest guys.

I went to Ohio University studying arts and history, and playing football. But I was only interested in girls, my pals and sports. I only did the minimum for school.

I prefer to underplay scenes rather than, you know, be big and drive them. And sometimes you have to do that, but I like the more natural styles.

I used to be a wonderful auditioner. When I was living in New York, I'd audition every day. And I like to audition. But then it got to a point where I didn't like it anymore.

Comedy is not easy to do - where you make someone laugh out loud in their living room.

Larry David just makes me laugh.

I'd loved to wear jeans and t-shirts, but everybody was in the peace movement back then. And that was my ploy. I had to be careful not to say things like 'I like meat.' Actually I just wanted to drink beer and to screw.

I was very slender and small. All my friends were on the team, so I had to make it too. I was a very aggressive player. I wanted to be one of the best, but I just ended up as one of the good ones.

We need elected officials who overcome partisan politics to really help people.

I could always say I wished I had a better film career... but overall, I've been one of the lucky ones.

I auditioned for 'The Rainmaker.' Nothing. I auditioned for 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.' Nothing. 'Antigone' was my big break. I got a part as a Roman guard. I carried a spear.

My paternal grandfather worked in the mill all his life. My father worked in the mill almost his whole life. I worked in the mill while I was going to college in the summers. And then, for one stretch, I quit school and worked one year.

That's a big deal for kids, when they come into the kitchen and the teacher is drinking coffee with mom. They react differently on the next day when you say: 'Sit down and shut-up!'

We need to elect leaders who have a strong moral compass. Leaders who are honest, straightforward, and tough - with a love of justice and fair play.

Never in my life have I thought, 'What's next?' It's just like 'Finding Dory.' Things just happen.

I think I 'turn off' women. I've a kind of a weird personality. Women may think that I'm a mess.

In high school, I got into a speech class run by a nun who used to put on plays. She put me in a oratorical competitive program. You would tell a story, and they were very corny, something like 'My Childhood Hero.' It was something out of 'Readers Digest.' I always thought it was too much and too dramatic.

My father, he was a strong guy, a handsome guy, and a hard worker. I don't believe he ever missed a day of work in his life.

I was never a joke teller. I don't even like jokes, for the most part. I don't like to hear them, and rarely can I even remember one.

'Married with Children,' we were good until the fifth or sixth season, and then we limped into the 11th season.

I loved the movie theater, so I always saw a lot of movies.

Back then I said to myself 'screw football.' Actually I just took part in this camp as there was nothing better for me to do. They also didn't draft me because they thought I was too wild and undisciplined.

In terms of comedians, I loved, growing up, Jonathan Winters, Sid Caesar, Jackie Gleason, Phil Silvers, Carol Burnett, all those people.

I had a lot of trouble with my coaches. Your coaches are father figures - you look to what they say. Well, the reality of it is, they are just shmucks.

Ohio's future is important to me.

I got into television, and I'm a television guy, so I've never really had a movie career.

Youngstown and Toledo have a lot in common.

I always wanted to work with David Milch.

I say I'm the best actor in America who's never done a movie.

I knew I was a good stage actor but I had no idea about movies. And I wasn't a Paul Newman type of guy. That's why I thought the stage is just right for me.

I was with the Steelers, and I got cut, and I remember, when I left, I was relieved.

I'm glad I did 'Married... with Children,' and I liked making all that money, and we all had a lot of laughs.

If you can sustain a career over 40 years in this business, you've gotta consider yourself lucky.

All this flying around got on my nerves. But then I gave the script to Cathy to get her opinion. When she started to laugh, it was like 'That's it!'. I went to LA and I got the part.

I was adrift for a while. I worked as a substitute teacher; I sold cars.

I used to be a wonderful auditioner. When I was living in New York, I'd audition every day. And I like to audition. But then it got to a point where I didn't like it anymore. So once it got to there and I also knew more about the business and I thought, "I can't do this anymore."

Nothing burps better than bacon.

I loved the movie theater so I always saw a lot of movies. And then there was a play, I saw in the local paper, they were having auditions for a play of a book I had read. Which was One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey. So I said, "oh, I've read this, so I'm perfect for the part of the lead." His name is escaping me.

I used to say things like, 'My name's not Al (Bundy), you know?' Not to the press, but to fans. 'My name is actually Ed.' I'd find myself saying that, and I'd think, 'Who do you think they think you are? They only know you from that!' And finally I just got...I don't know, I guess a switch went on for me, and I realized, 'This was the greatest job that you've ever had in your life. Why are you acting like an asshole?' So from that minute on, I kind of...well, I hate the word 'embraced,' but I just kind of went, 'Yeah, okay.' 'So you're Al, right?' 'Yep!'

When I read the pilot for Married with Children, it just reminded me of my Uncle Joe... just a self-deprecating kind of guy. Hed come home from work, and the wife would maybe say I ran over the dog this morning in the driveway. And he would say Fine, whats for dinner?