Top 256 Quotes & Sayings by Eoin Colfer - Page 5

...Hardly. A ragged apron does not a waiter make.

I am unarmed. But Butler here, my ...ah...butler, has a Sig Saucer in his shoulder holster, two shrike-throwing knives in his boots, aderringer two-shot up his sleeve, garrotte wire in his watch, and three stun greanades concealed in variouse pockets. Anything else, Butler?

I'm LEP. A captain. No rent-a-cop gnome is going to stand in the way of my orders.

Doobie always wanted to see the badge. It was shiny, and he was eight.

If it looks like a Dwarf, and it smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf or a latrine wearing dungerees.

What's that supposed to mean? A wolf's head on a stick. Big wolf barbecue tonight? Bring your own wolf?

I'm the crazy girly captain, Remember?

Being in command means making tough decisions. Not being in command means shutting up and doing what you're told. --Artemis Fowl

This was a nightmare scenario for any bodyguard: stuck in the middle of a transparent tube, several miles underwater, with a murdering band of fugitives at one end and an enthralled but still highly skilled police officer at the other.

I can't imagine what they're planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it, and it won't be legal.

The problem is that I know the textbook answers to any question you care to ask.

If Koboi defeats and presumably murders us both then you can consider the debt null and void.

That was all he said, except for "Aaaeerrgghhh." Which is not really a word. But the reason that he screamed "Aaaeerrgghhh" was that Franco had bitten him savegly on the wrist.

Listen to me, goblin. You're stupid, let's accept that and move on.

Don’t feel bad; I regularly reduce people to unintelligible stammers.

We lost the crickets," she said. "Even you can't make that sound tough." ..."I am Butler," he said with a straight-face. "Everything I say sounds tough. Now, get out of the lake, fairy.