Top 74 Quotes & Sayings by Finley Peter Dunne
Explore popular quotes and sayings by an American journalist Finley Peter Dunne.
Last updated on December 22, 2024.
One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need the money the most, are the ones that never have it.
An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.
The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better - it is just turning around as usual.
A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable.
Trust everybody, but cut the cards.
It don't make much difference what you study, so long as you don't like it.
There ain't any news in being good. You might write the doings of all the convents of the world on the back of a postage stamp, and have room to spare.
There are no friends at cards or world politics.
A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.
The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.
The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.
Comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.
Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the better you like it.
Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts.
Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.
Don't jump on a man unless he is down.
If a man is wise, he gets rich an' if he gets rich, he gets foolish, or his wife does. That's what keeps the money movin' around.
What is instinct? It is the natural tendency in one when filled with dismay to turn to his wife.
Many a man that couldn't direct ye to th' drug store on th' corner when he was thirty will get a respectful hearin' when age has further impaired his mind.
To most people a savage nation is wan that doesn't wear oncomf'rtable clothes.
Trust ivrybody-but cut th' cards.
Vice goes along way towards making life bearable. A little vice now and then is relished by the best of men.
Th' dead ar-re always pop'lar. I knowed a society wanst to vote a monyment to a man an' refuse to help his fam'ly, all in wan night.
I niver knew a pollytician to go wrong ontil he's been contaminated by contact with a business man.
A firm belief atthracts facts. They come out iv holes in the ground an' cracks in th' wall to support belief, but they run away fr'm doubt.
A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable
There are no friends at cards or world politics
A rayformer thinks he was ilicted because he was a rayformer, whin th thruth iv th matther is he was ilicted because no wan knew him.
Histhry is a post-mortem examination. It tellsye what a counthry died iv. But I'd like to know what it lived iv.
High finance isn't burglary or obtaining money by false pretenses, but rather a judicious selection from the best features of those fine arts.
I care not who makes th' laws iv a nation, if I can get out an injunction.
No, sir, th' dimmycratic party ain't on speakin' terms with itsilf. Whin ye see two men with white neckties go into a sthreet car an' set in opposite corners while wan mutthers Thraiter an' th' other hisses Miscreent ye can bet they're two dimmycratic leaders thryin' to reunite th' gran' ol' party.
There aint any news in being good. You might write the doings of all the convents of the world on the back of a postage stamp, and have room to spare.
Opportunity knocks at every man's door once. On some men's door it hammers till it breaks down the door and then it goes in and wakes him up if he's asleep, and ever afterward it works for him as a night watchman.
That is, no matther whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme coort follows th' iliction returns.
Most vegetarians I ever see looked enough like their food to be classed as cannibals.
Work is work if you're paid to do it, and it's a pleasure if you pay to be allowed to do it.
No matter whether the Constitution follows the flag or not, the Supreme Court follows the election returns.
Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.
The last man that makes a joke owns it.
It is more comfortable to feel that we are a slight improvement on a monkey than such a fallin' off from the angels.
It must be a good thing to be good or ivrybody wudden't be pretendin' he was.
Drink never made a man better, but it has made many a man think he was better.
If Christian scientists had more science and doctors more Christianity, it wouldn't make any difference which you called in - if you had a good nurse.
When the American people get through with the English language, it will look as if it had been run over by a musical comedy.
Many a man that could rule a hundherd millyon sthrangers with an ir'n hand is careful to take off his shoes in the front hallway whin he comes home late at night.
A man's idea in a game of cards is war, cruel, devastating, and pitiless. A lady's idea of it is a combination of larceny, embezzlement and burglary.
The past always looks better than it was;
it's only pleasant because it isn't here.
A man's idee in a card game is war
It [Thanksgiving] was founded by the Puritans to give thanks for bein' preserved from the Indians, an' we keep it to give thanks we are preserved from the Puritans.
There's always wan encouragin' thing about th' sad scientific facts that come out ivrv week in th' pa-apers. They're usually not thrue.
Meditation is a gift confined to unknown philosophers and cows. Others don't begin to think till they begin to talk or write.
Th' first thing to have in a libry is a shelf. Fr'm time to time this can be decorated with lithrachure. But th' shelf is th' main thing.
Stories are meant to comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.
Freedom is like drink. If you take any at all, you might as well take enough to make you happy for a while.
A man can be right and president, but he can't be both at the same time.
Continued focus on (employee) turnover is of critical importance, because of the direct relation of turnover to improvements in labor costs and guest satisfaction.
A man that'd expict to thrain lobsters to fly in a year is called a loonytic; but a man that thinks men can be tur-rned into angels by an iliction is called a rayformer an' remains at large.
Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts.
I wonder why you can always read a doctor's bill and you can never read his prescription.
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