Top 9 Quotes & Sayings by Frank Muir

Explore popular quotes and sayings by an English writer Frank Muir.
Last updated on November 8, 2024.
Frank Muir

Frank Herbert Muir was an English comedy writer, radio and television personality, and raconteur. His writing and performing partnership with Denis Norden endured for most of their careers. Together they wrote BBC Radio's Take It from Here for over 10 years, and then appeared on BBC radio quizzes My Word! and My Music for another 35. Muir became Assistant Head of Light Entertainment at the BBC in the 1960s, and was then London Weekend Television's founding Head of Entertainment. His many writing credits include editorship of The Oxford Book of Humorous Prose.

Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humor is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually in solitude.
Strategy is buying a bottle of fine wine when you take a lady out for dinner. Tactics is getting her to drink it.
Hotel tea is when you have to mix together a plastic envelope containing too much sugar, a small plastic pot of something which is not milk but has curdled anyway, and a thin brown packet seemingly containing the ashes of a cremated mole.
It has been said that a bride's attitude towards her betrothed can be summed up in three words: Aisle. Alter. Hymn. — © Frank Muir
It has been said that a bride's attitude towards her betrothed can be summed up in three words: Aisle. Alter. Hymn.
The glances over cocktails That seem to be so sweet Don't seem quite so amorous Over Shredded Wheat
The golden rule when reading the menu is, if you cannot pronounce it, you cannot afford it.
Some breakfast food manufacturer hit upon the simple notion of emptying out the leavings of carthorse nose bags, adding a few other things like unconsumed portions of chicken layer's mash, and the sweepings of racing stables, packing the mixture in little bags and selling them in health food shops.
The speeches to be wary of are those that begin with I'm just going to say a few words.
A golf ball is white, dimpled like a bishop's knees, and is the size of small mandarin oranges or those huge pills which vets blow down the throats of constipated cart-horses.
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