Top 166 Quotes & Sayings by Gabriel Iglesias
Explore popular quotes and sayings by an American comedian Gabriel Iglesias.
Last updated on September 17, 2024.
I was not the popular kid in school.
I'm a big guy, but I'm really simple with the food. I'll hit the In-N-Out or just the regular buffets.
Some comics don't like it when people talk during the set, and it does get a little bit annoying after awhile, but I basically let people dictate what jokes I'm going to do.
I usually travel with a posse. I roll deep. I travel like a rapper, but without the artillery. We don't carry guns, we carry cookies.
Believe it or not, I've got a really bad metabolism. One burger and I'm done. I'm not a guy that puts away 10 burgers.
When you leave, you basically want to go eat, because I talk a lot about food in my act. So when you leave, you leave hungry.
You wonder why I only talk about my personal life. But that's all I've ever done.
Comedy is my passion. I'm going to do this until I drop.
Comedians do movies and TV so that when they tour, they sell out. That's the goal: To get popular enough so the place is packed.
I'm all about showing people that I'm a little messed up, I have a lot of the same problems you have. By exposing myself and putting myself out there, people can relate to me and my act won't grow stale. I mean, nobody wants to hear a comedian say, 'Life is great.'
I don't get controversial, I don't get political and I don't tell you what to do with your life. I just go out there and tell some stories, and people can relate.
Connecting with people is not hard. I love the interaction and the feedback after shows. It does take some time, but the fans appreciate it which makes it worth it.
I want to get so famous that I don't have to wake up in the morning. It'll probably never happen.
The Ford Flex is a really, really cool car. You get inside and you have so much headroom and it's really comfortable to drive and it's real techy inside. You look at the screen and it's blue and you've got all kinds of controls. Everything is digital.
I started riding the whole 'fluffy' train, and it's a cute word and socially a lot more acceptable than someone saying is fat or obese. If you call a girl 'fat,' yo, she'll raise hell, but if you say, 'Aw girl, look at you, you're fluffy,' there's almost a sexy appeal to it.
I found that laughter was a form of acceptance, and I really enjoyed that and I just - I crave it.
I just know you can not be on top forever. There's always going to be the next guy, and if I'm going to go down, I'd like to know I helped the next guy take my spot. You can't prevent the inevitable, but you can join the ship.
I wanted to be a comedian, and this is what I'm doing. If I can keep this going, I'm happy.
I never go perform somewhere alone. I've done that since day one. I've always taken other comics with me.
I almost bought a DeLorean the other day just because. If I see something that I think is cool and I like it, I'll go for it.
You gotta live life before you can talk about it. Sometimes when things don't work out in life, they work out on stage.
As far as guys who perform onstage, I love Chris Rock. I'm kind of jaded on everyone else.
I'm a comedian who happens to be Latino. What's the difference? The difference is, my special will air on Comedy Central, not Telemundo.
I get a lot of influence from pro wrestling. People are like, 'Oh, it's fake.' But it's not about whether the guy wins or loses, it's about how he entertains you the whole time you're watching.
In the beginning, when I was doing my shows, I was incorporating a lot of Spanish, just trying to be a Latino comic instead of just a comic. Now I try to make the show as broad as possible... I don't want to alienate people. I want to make it so everybody can follow along and everybody can relate.
I learned early on, stay away from politics, stay away from religion and don't talk about sports. Those three right there will get you in trouble.
I don't have to worry about writing jokes. I just tell stories about things that have happened to me. As long as I'm alive and I'm living and I'm experiencing different things every day, the show will always change.
Being on TV sucks. It's a lot of work. You memorize scripts and then you show up and they change everything. I'm a control freak. When I'm doing stand-up, I say what I want and then I get instant feedback.
I'm always very happy to talk to people. I relate to people, and the guy on stage is very much the guy that's off stage. People know when it's fake.
I know what it's like to have a family and not have insurance and really need it. As a comic, insurance was one of those sacrifices I made early on until I could afford it.
We can choose our family. We can't choose our relatives.
You live by the cake, you die by the cake.
You gotta hang out with people who have big dreams and believe in that dream.
You can't be bad ass in a car that kills gas like I kill tacos.
There's 5 levels of fatness! Fluffy is one of the levels. There's big, healthy, husky, fluffy and damn.
Now I understand why people do drugs, why people drink, and why people go crazy. As the success level goes up and up and up, the further detached I get from everybody else. Luckily, with my girlfriend, everything is gravy because I brought her into it. I brought her in and she's very hands on with my career.
Anything is possible as long as you're focused, determined and you really want to do it.
I'm a big boy, but I can get jiggy with it. Ladies, I will go to dance clubs, and I will tear it up hardcore for a good 30 seconds.
Kids, man, they're way too honest. They're like mini-alcoholics.
When you have nothing but big friends, you never get into arguments - except one. And that is, who is the biggest? I'll let you know right now, there's only one way to settle this. We all get in a bus and we go to Disney and we get on a roller coaster - whoever gets the least amount of clicks on the safety bar is the big one.
Me racist? The only race I hate is the one you have to run.
I drink diet coke so I can eat regular cake.
Life is measured by how you lived it, not by the years.
You know, a lot of people think that just 'cause you work out, lift weights, eat right, and do what people tell you to do that you'll live a long live, maybe you will. But, why do people measure life by the years instead about how good the years were.
I'm not fat. I'm fluffy!
I'm not on a diet. And it's funny cause people go 'Well, then why do you drink diet soda?' So I can eat regular cake.
If you aim to be big, you will be big. And that's not a pun about my size.
I had to travel half way across the world to be called an American.
Wearing a Hawaiian shirt, you don't ever come across as offensive. Nobody sees you as a threat. You see someone in a Hawaiian shirt, and you are like 'this guy is ready to party.'
If you put your personal stories out there people always connect.
Why do people measure life by the years instead of how good the years were?
I'm not fat. It's just my awesomeness swelling up inside of me.
With all the classes they offer at school, how come they don't have one for common sense?
If I'm drinking I can either be the nicest guy ever or I'm the guy you should leave alone.
The best advice bro: is think big, as big as you can possibly think, and shoot for that. The bigger you aim for, the bigger you're going to be. Set the standards for yourself as high as you possibly can and also surround yourself with people who have the same visions you have.
I try not to get political, I don't want to get religious, I don't want to get controversial, I just want to have a show that relates to everybody.
I don't even have a clue as to where to find a pregnancy test. I'm looking at all the aisles... they don't have one that says 'oops.
I don't want to die tomorrow knowing I could've had a piece of cake tonight.
Some people can handle alcohol. You know who you are. Some people can't handle alcohol. The police know who you are.
Why would anybody connect to someone who has everything going for them? It's the person who has faults that people want to connect to. So people identify with certain insecurities on stage and just by me talking about my diabetes people come up to me after the show and tell me "Gabe, my blood sugar is out of control and I feel you". That's the first thing they say, they say "I feel you!".
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