Top 8 Quotes & Sayings by Gordon Neufeld

Explore popular quotes and sayings by a Canadian psychologist Gordon Neufeld.
Last updated on September 17, 2024.
Gordon Neufeld

Gordon Neufeld (1946) is a developmental psychologist and author of the book Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers that has been translated into 10 languages. The Neufeld approach is based on the attachment theory formulated by John Bowlby. He developed a theory of attachment that includes six stages in the development of the capacity for relationship, the construct of polarization that explains both shyness and defensive detachment. His model of attachment is universal in both its application and implementation.

I started my career in parent education with the idea that we needed to let our kids go. I believed that parents were suffocating for their children. There was no room for individuality and personhood.
Parents are the designated caregivers and are best suited for being able to raise children.
It is a parent's responsibility to preserve the connection with their children, to preserve the relationship, so that the children can let go and become their own selves.
Many people think that discipline is the essence of parenting. But that isn't parenting. Parenting is not telling your child what to do when he or she misbehaves. Parenting is providing the conditions in which a child can realize his or her full human potential.
We have lost sight of nature's role in the whole process of maturation and growing up. Parents and nature are a team. And nature can't go on without the parental role of being able to foster individuality and viability unless the attachment needs are fully met.
Digital intimacy ruins the appetite for the real thing. So, when kids are gaming or even when spouses are gaming, they lose their appetite for genuine intimacy. Kids lose their appetite for getting their intimacy needs, their hunger for significance and attachment, with the family, and it erodes the relationship between them and their parents.
Peer attachments are not the problem themselves. It's when they compete with adult attachments that the problems emerge. It's just like when siblings get attached to each other. If they start revolving around each other, then the parents can't do anything with them because it's a competing attachment.
Children need to trust and depend upon those who are responsible for them. — © Gordon Neufeld
Children need to trust and depend upon those who are responsible for them.
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