Top 248 Quotes & Sayings by Greg Gutfeld - Page 2

I hate 'Rolling Stone' - because I loved it so much. I had the 'Cheap Tricks' cover and the Clash cover on my wall for years, and I just hate what happened to it. It just became the smarmy grad student that sits next to you on the bus.

Travel like a pro, not like a hobo. That's my motto.

The girls I dated liked or disliked me, whether I weighed 140 or 150; and six-pack abs had no relevance on their love or repulsion.

If pop culture is a pool, it never hurts to dive into the deep end once in a while.

Wherever socialism spread, misery followed - and still follows.

The bands I like are not obscure at all. Far from it.

I spent my teens in northern California listening to KALX, KUSF, and KFJC, finding people that changed my life.

In the American 'melting pot,' identity politics wants to smash that pot - to bring us back to the Dark Ages, when collaboration was sparse.

No one wants a lecture when you're getting a latte. So if you get one without asking, isn't that grounds for some discipline?

I've done two shows every day for years, but I don't think I could work on just one show a week. I would go crazy, and I would drive everybody nuts. I've got to feel like I'm under pressure.

ObamaCare was a lemon, but the media were his lemonheads.

Identity politics preaches a splintering of one large, collaborative group into competing vindictive ones - resulting in new, angry tribes whose central thesis is to not cooperate.

It takes a special, selfless person to make music that accommodates the universal need for mindless escapism - or what I call oblivion.

I actually hate lyrics, and I hate it when they're quoted in reviews. I don't think they matter that much; it's the sounds of words - not the words - that I look for.

I'm used to the Right being singled out by the entertainers.

What a contrast, Trump is feisty but flexible. Obama, cool but rigid. But he had no reason to bend. The media already bought into his shtick. His giddy fan base ate up every white-coated lie.

An actual scientist embraces debate because it sharpens their research.

2017 may have been that year when identity politics hit a brick wall - and slumped limply on the pavement.

The federal government is enormous; it never shrinks. And the interest is killing us.

A troll's life is a no-physical-contact existence. You will die alone, as you die daily, online.

How odd that the proponents of free expression think 'free' only applies to them.

If you can have a skewed sense of your body, it stands to reason you could develop the same kind of thing about your relationships with others in a social network.

The modern progressive movement believes that dissenting language is objectionable, which then removes the brakes between anger and violence.

By silencing speech, the new Left makes life more dangerous by leaving violence as the only option. Maybe that's what they want.

Here is the problem with legacy: You'll sacrifice stuff that is not even yours to get it. Take President Obama's Iran deal, when he gave the shirt off his back - and ours, too.

Here is a fact: If Facebook were a religion, it will be the third largest behind Islam and Christianity. Its success is rooted and capitalizing on the human desire to bond.

'Sol Invictus' works like your basic FNM record: the sequencing is an artful job, hustling you politely through all the gentle, harsh, weird surprises that follow - and then when it's over, you get back on the ride and start over, just like Space Mountain.

Thanks to an immersive lifestyle that involves Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, we've created a psychological three-sided mirror for our social impact on others.

Creating a fan base of both fervent feelers and fanboys, Trump magnificently played off many fawning commentator's insecurities - using the deep desire to be liked or noticed by Trump as a method to keep their criticism of him tamped down.

The good and bad thing about online trolling: it's not on the street, and it's not on the street! The good: nothing physical erupts; the bad: there are no brakes to stop it.

Listening to a FNM record is like a visit from a mysterious relative who knows more about your family than you did.

Back in the days of world wars, American companies didn't think twice about pitching in to help fight the enemy. Car companies helped bolster tanks, food companies created rations - sometimes they had to do it, but no one had to twist their arm.

At a certain point, we need to figure out how to reward those who choose a path that offers, often, almost no reward.

Actors seem brave and unpredictable, but they're spontaneous as a tax return.

Trump has manufactured the first-ever Celebrity Immunity Bubble - rendering him incapable of offense, no matter whom he offends. It's brilliant.

Generally, I don't bother trying to keep up with prolific bands - but Thee Oh Sees demand it.

If America oppresses, why do so many people risk their lives coming here to be oppressed?

True, the country is divided, but it's not Right and Left. It's Left and Not Left. It is because, for liberals, politics is personal and therefore extremely loud. For the rest of us, we prefer community over calamity.

It's not misogynistic to criticize a legendary female pop singer; it's misogynistic to think a legendary female pop singer can't handle it.

Before language, cavemen simply grunted, and then they used the club. Communication changed that. It's the mechanism that created civilization and prevents its own destruction.

FNM didn't really become one of my favorite all-time bands until after I'd had all their records for a couple of years. And realized I was playing them every day.

Most Americans don't shout their politics, much less blast it from their TVs while serving you fried pickles - that's the Left.

We are all better served by objectively diagnosing trolls so they can change.

Social justice warriors want to return to the Dark Ages when you communicated with a club instead of joining one.

I realize Twitter can be good, providing a video game of creativity for your brain.

If you're hiring, if you're the person doing the hiring, forgive a scar or two. Remember that when we were young, we were also idiots. There were just no cameras there to catch it.

If a journalist calls you a racist, chances are, all other journalists will call you a racist.

I'm sure if you could survey the unborn they would prefer the chance for life over the options of solar power.

The great thing about being rich is, you can embrace practices that kill the poor - that's what socialism does.

Why is our media quick to find evil in our local police, but tnot in Islamic terror?

What begins as a Utopian vision, always - always - ends in bloodshed. Because you have to force a utopia on a free people. Free people want to pursue their own happiness, but a one-size-fits-all approach requires herding the free, against their will, into the state's idea of what's right. Then it's not utopia.

Chris Matthews is so nuts that if he ate a snickers bar it would be cannibalism.

Being a conservative on campus is like bing a goat amongst the taliban. You are never safe.

A Smith & Wesson does more for empowering women than Feminism ever could

If America was a house, the Left would root for the termites.

People ask me what I am politically and I've previously offered this equation: I became a conservative by being around liberals. And I became a libertarian after being around conservatives.

How funny is it that so many professors labeled Tea Partiers as terrorists, while kissing the asses of real, bona fide terrorists? It's not funny, really. But it's the result of a simple equation: One is cool, and the other isn't. Own a gun and keep it by your bed in your remote farmhouse? You're a redneck. Purchase guns that end up killing a judge? Priceless. As long as you cling to cool, progressive beliefs that deem America evil, whatever you do is cool. And if you do it under a big fuzzy 'fro? Even cooler. Hell, if you 'fro is big enough, you could nuke an orphanage and still get tenure.

The beauty of progress is that it makes it easier for you to carve out a space to be nonproductive.

A funny thing about tolerant people? They're really only tolerant when you agree with them.

Imagine if today, they invented a religion that advocated the killing of gays. We would not tolerate that. However, Islam is a religion that advocates that.