Top 37 Quotes & Sayings by Jack Whitehall
Explore popular quotes and sayings by a British comedian Jack Whitehall.
Last updated on April 14, 2025.
I acted at school but got very bad parts - things that they'd made up in Shakespeare plays like 'Guard 17' - so I wrote plays and gave myself parts, then I wrote sketches, then I did stand-up. Even in the school nativity I was the emu in the manger.
I want to write a film. I need to think of the right idea and focus on that; I love writing.
I think people respect honesty rather than hiding it.
I like to think I'm a bit smarter than I sometimes let on.
For the first six months of my stand-up career, I was talking like Danny Dyer. I was doing a lot of 'alright guvnors?' It wasn't true to who I was.
I vote for whoever will annoy my dad.
I love stand-up, but the process of writing is a little more lonely. I want to keep doing both, though.
Some comics have long routines to get them in the mood - I just prefer to sit down, write out the same jokes in a different order and then have a little prayer that I won't be met by silence.
I never know what defines you as being posh. I went to a posh school, definitely.
I've definitely become smuttier. When I first started out, I had these aspirations: 'I'm not going to do jokes about anything crude because I'm bigger and better than that.' But then, I don't know... It makes me laugh, so I started doing it.
When I'm on stage, I'm quite over the top - I'm quite flamboyant and camp.
I was the first person in the world to audition for 'The Hobbit'. The casting director told me that when I went in. That's a lot of pressure, isn't it? The first person in the world.
I don't like comedians who don't have conviction, and with stand-up, it is always best to have an angle.
I'm very conscious of other people's opinions and of people not liking me.
My dad doesn't hug me enough!
Part of doing stand-up is to get things off your chest. It's a bit like being in a psychiatrist's chair - but more enjoyable.
I'm not actually posh; I'm really rough and from the wrong side of the tracks. I grew up in Putney, which is pretty rough.
I eat healthily, as it keeps my energy up.
I wish I was a bit shorter, as I think shorter people have better walks. Freddie Fox, the actor, is shorter than me and has an amazing gait; and Tom Cruise has a brilliant run. I'm just gangly.
I have got a fantastic life and I just like to get on with it, and I am quite a private person.
If I'm in an uncomfortable situation, I think I can say something funny to defuse it. Sometimes you can't.
Once you start doing a lot, you don't ever want to stop working. It feels weird if you're not doing something.
I'd like to scale back the television. I'm constantly told that I'm over-exposed, and I don't want to end up like Carol Vorderman.
I did a gig at a comedy club in Bournemouth where they served a buffet while the acts were on. There was the clang of people carving turkey during the set. If you put comedy and turkey side by side, turkey always wins.
Society is so divided in its perception of public school people. Most people who went to public school behave in the right way, but every now and then there will be someone who comes along and ruins it.
There's a real sense of camaraderie with sitcoms.
I hope people think of me as a bit older. I do have a beard. That makes me look very old.
Live stand-up is my thing. I love being on stage and just messing around.
If I could look like anyone, it would be Jamie Redknapp - even up close, he's amazing.
When I was younger, I was insecure for about 10 years: I wore glasses, had a cow's lick, buck teeth and braces. I looked ridiculous.
My mother giving birth to me was just like Lady Sybil giving birth, except that there wasn't such a tragic ending.
I only got into comedy to get laid
This sausage roll only contains 2% of your daily intake of calories... if you lick it.
I've never laughed a woman into bed, but I've laughed one out of bed many times.
I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say 'bought', I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid.
I love Downton Abbey. It's just great. My mother giving birth to me was just like Lady Sybil giving birth, except that there wasn't such a tragic ending.
Oh, you wanna do a little bit of roleplay? Could you just play dead?
Related Authors
Bill Maher Quotes
American
Comedian
Craig Ferguson Quotes
Scottish
Comedian
David Letterman Quotes
American
Comedian
Demetri Martin Quotes
American
Comedian
Ellen DeGeneres Quotes
American
Comedian
George Carlin Quotes
American
Comedian
Jay Leno Quotes
American
Comedian
Jim Gaffigan Quotes
American
Comedian
Jimmy Fallon Quotes
American
Comedian
Joan Rivers Quotes
American
Comedian
Mitch Hedberg Quotes
American
Comedian
P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
American
Comedian
Robin Williams Quotes
American
Comedian
Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
American
Comedian
Stephen Colbert Quotes
American
Comedian
Steven Wright Quotes
American
Comedian