Top 161 Quotes & Sayings by Jeff Lindsay - Page 3

Feeling - what authentic human fun!

And here I always thought morality was useless.

What do you want a clock for?” “To find out what time it is,” I said. “I think that’s the usual purpose.

Nothing else loves me, or ever will. Not even - especially - me. I know what I am and that is not a thing to love.

I'm a very neat monster.

It's terrible to have to depend on someone else.

And as we should all know by now, anytime you predict failure you have an excellent chance of being right.

Could this be the Apocalypse ?

It’s an odd term, 'girlfriend,' particularly for grown persons. And in practice it provides an even odder concept. Generally speaking, in adults it described a woman, not a girl, who was willing to provide sex, not friendship. In fact, from what I had observed it was quite possible for one to actively dislike one’s girlfriend, although of course true hatred is reserved for marriage.

I think that's nice, and if I could have feelings at all I would have them for Deb.

For my part, my interest in Paris had faded away completely long ago when I learned that it was in France.

Because I am an inhuman monster, I tend to be logical.

And then more quiet, silence so deep it almost drowned out the roar of the night music that pounded away in my secret self.

It was always hard work to push through a crowed of reporters with the scent of blood in their nostrils. You might not think so, since on camera they appear to be brain-damaged wimps with severe eating disorders. But put them at a police barricade and a miraculous thing happens...The strength comes from some mysterious place-and somehow, when there is gore on the ground, these anorexic creatures can push their way through anything. Without mussing their hair, too.

I let it ring. I wanted to breathe for a few minutes, and I could think of nothing that couldn't wait. Besides, I had paid almost $50 for an answering machine. Let it earn its keep.

Getting yelled at by a furious woman should be treated as a semiformal occasion.

After a long moment I closed the freezer door. I wanted to lie down and press my cheek against the cool linoleum. Instead I reached out with my little finger and flipped the Barbie's head. It went thack thack against the door. I flipped it again. Thack thack. Whee. I had a new hobby.

I was filled with dread at the thought my mind had skipped town and left me behind to pay the rent." --Dexter

I was good at being charming, one of my very few vanities.

I had become a perfect fake human, saying the stupid and pointless things that humans say to each other all day long.

Rectory always sounded to me like a place where you would find a proctologist.

Detective, I don't know where the boyfriend is, really," I said. And it was true, considering tide, current, and the habits of marine scavengers. -Dexter

For the first time I could remember, I felt weak, woozy and stupid— like a human-being. Like a very small and helpless human-being.

It took me a moment. I blinked, and suddenly it swam into focus and I had to frown very hard to keep myself from giggling out loud like the schoolgirl Deb had accused me of being. Because he had arranged the arms and legs in letters, and the letters spelled out a single small word: BOO. The three torsos were carefully arranged below the BOO in a quarter-circle, making a cute little Halloween smile. What a scamp.

The students we saw were all bright, attractive, and polite, and the teachers all seemed to be smart and dedicated, and I began to appreciate the benefits of a private school education. If only I'd had the opportunity to attend a place like this, who knows what I might have become? Perhaps instead of a mere blood-spatter analyst who slunk away at night to kill without conscience, I could have become a doctor, or a physicist, or even a senator who slunk away at night to kill without conscience. It was terribly sad to think of all my wasted potential.

There is a simple, logical explanation,' I said to myself. And because you never know who else is listening, I added, 'And there is nothing under the bed.'" --Dexter

The whole point of wearing a disguise was to be seen wearing her.

Whatever made me the way I am left me hollow, empty inside, unable to feel. It doesn't seem like a big deal. I'm quite sure most people fake an awful lot of everyday human contact. I just fake it all. I fake it very well, and the feelings are never there.

Another dream. Another long-distance call on my phantom party line. No wonder i had steadfastly refused to have dreams for most of my life. So stupid; such pointless, obvious symbols. Totally uncontrollable anxiety soup, hateful, blatant nonsense.

Saturday morning was their unrestricted television time, and they usually took advantage of it to watch a series of cartoon shows that would certainly have been impossible before the discovery of LSD.

I nodded with genuine synthetic sympathy.

Why bother inflicting enormous pain on yourself when sooner or later Life would certainly get around to doing it for you?

Perhaps because I'll never be one, humans are interesting to me.

been there done that, bought the t-shirt" Chapter 2

This was just no fun. I wanted my brain back.

Me, feeling. What a concept.

Or was he saying, "Hi! Wanna play?" And I did. Of course I did.

I am not shy about admitting my modest talents. For example, I am happy to admit that I am better than average at clever remarks, and I also have a flair for getting people to like me. But to be perfectly fair to myself, I am ever-ready to confess my shortcomings, too, and a quick round of soul-searching forced me to admit that I had never been any good at all at breathing water. As I hung there from the seat belt, dazed and watching the water pour in and swirl around my head, this began to seem like a very large character flaw.

...my conscience has the same hard reality as a unicorn.

Of course it was a terrible thing, and the world would be a much better place without someone in it who could do that, but did that mean we had to miss lunch?

What to wear? I could think of no guidelines on what we were wearing this season to a party forced on you to celebrate an unwanted engagement that might turn into a violent confrontation with a vengeful maniac. Clearly brown shoes were out, but beyond that nothing really seemed de rigueur.