Top 146 Quotes & Sayings by Jen Kirkman - Page 3

I'm not like Woody Allen like, "Oh my god what's going to happen? Ooh Ooh Oohhh." I'm just high-strung. So I do need to do a lot of stuff.

Everyone traveling alone is just on their phones the whole time.

I'm wired to be neurotic and loud and high-strung.

[Yoga] never calms me. Ever. But it certainly helps me prevent something.

I think I say things nicely and my whole goal is to be understood and that includes by people who don't understand me.

In terms of what happened to Amy [Schumer], if that happened to me I would be like, "Yes, please leave." But I toured a lot. I started as an opening feature act touring a lot during the [George W.] Bush years, like around 2007. I was touring during the [Barack] Obama election - the first one with [Sarah] Palin and [John] McCain - and I talked to crowds about that and they were always split down the middle.

I'm just going to go to schools and give inspirational speeches about our bodies. I'll just wear flowing dresses and talk way quieter than I can.

I stay on [Twitter] because I deserve to.

I stay on [Twitter] as Jen Kirkman, a person. It's just a way for me to connect with what I know and read everything and catch all areas.

I'm not anxious, I'm high-strung. I just decided that's the difference for me.

I'll take anyone I can get that will pay money to see me. And if there's more of me in the world, people who think they're good people and comedians who have a good message or whatever, then that's great. If there's some kind of balance there that's good.

I don't do jokes about elections so that's probably why it went okay for me, except for the crazy people that are hate-crime people.

They asked us to draw pictures of what we thought men and women look like naked and so I was like, "Get away, I'm doing my weird homework, drawing a naked man and woman." And I can't even draw. That's all I remember. I have no memory.

I have no choice sometimes, but there's something about being alone. When I'm alone I might not speak for 24 hours, but you're totally seeing things. It's a pretty cool experience.

My mother was like, "What did they teach you?", and I had never talked about that [sex-ed] so I freaked out.

I don't have anything to do all year. I'm not on tour until September.

Let me say this. [Donald] Trump is the only person that has control over what Trump does. Maybe his supporters support him but they don't support every single thing about him. Maybe they are misguided about what it means to be friends with Russia. Maybe they come to my show and they never thought about sexism in the way that I talk about it in a joke.

When you travel, people might not have the same ideas about what is interesting. I'm not really good at compromising when I travel.

There's something grand and revolutionary still about [women] traveling alone. There are some parts of the world where you can't.

I mean, I can't say that I've had many deep thoughts because I traveled alone, but it's good to be with myself in the quiet.

[People] might turn into [Donald] Trump supporters who think, "Hey, I get what women are saying." So any chance I get to have people listen that should hear me is good.

I put my filter on, though, and I only see things people I follow [on Twitter] write now. So, I don't even know anymore [ trolls].

I think Twitter is kind of boring, to be honest. To me, it's not even real life.

My rule is if one person says it, a thousand people want to say it. That goes for compliments too. I try to balance it out in my head.

Sometimes I look [ on trolls on Twitter], but even one ignorant comment can make me go, "Oh god."

I know everyone says they go to yoga, but I actually really go. I notice that helps me so much.