Top 83 Quotes & Sayings by Jennifer Crusie

Really, The smart thing to do was to stop dating and get a cat.

Phin spared a moment of sympathy for Frank until he looked back and saw him at the bar, leaning into Clea’s cleavage. Get a grip, Frank, he thought, and then he looked down Sophie’s dress and thought, Never mind, Frank.

This is making me crazy. I hate relying on other people to save me, I hate being clingy, I hate it, and every time you show up, I lean on you. - Matilda Scarlet Veronica Betty Vilma Goodnight

Elvis!" Min shoved herself off the couch to shoo him away. "Stay away from there. There's broken glass." "He did that on purpose," David said, outraged. "Yes, David, the cat is plotting against you." Min fished the base out of the water and glass shards and put it on the table. Then she went to get her wastebasket and began to put the glass pieces in it.

Trying to seduce Alec at all was a waste of time; he came preseduced anyway. Like a microwave entrée. You pressed his buttons, and he got hot.

Feel no guilt. Getting married and giving birth does not mean that you have sold your life away to perfectly healthy people who can get their own damn socks.

Breasts are very important for women. Their clothes just don't hang right without them.

• The key to fighting is never to fight unless the cause is so great that you couldn’t bear not to defend it and the losses you are going to suffer are things that you could afford to lose. If you do fight, the thing to remember is that it is going to hurt because that is what happens in a fight and you might as well reconcile yourself to it in the beginning and then it will not matter when it happens

A bar would not be a good career move for you.

You’ve always been nuts. That’s fine. I can deal with nuts. But lately, you’ve been depressed nuts. I can’t deal with that. - Anthony

My studies have shown that the process of falling into mature love happens in four steps. When you meet a woman, you subconsciously look for cues that she's the kind os person you should be with. That's assumption. If she passes the assumption test, you begin to get to know her to find out if she's appropriate for you. If she is, you're attracted. If, as you get to know her, the attraction is reinforced with joy or pain or both, you'll fall into infatuation. And if you manage to make a connection and attach to each other during infatuation, you'll move into mature, unconditional love.

Okay, Shane," Agnes said as Brenda's clock gonged midnight. "I got Joey in the kitchen, a cop in the front hall, a dead body in the basement, and you in my bedroom. Where do you want to start?

If you haven't failed, you're not trying hard enough.

Part of being a writer is defending your vision and not caving in to outside pressures.

Well, you won't unless you come to lunch with me," Cal said. "I'm holding it for ransom. There's a gun to its heel right now." "I have lunch at my desk," Min began, and thought,Oh, for crying out loud, could I beany more pathetic ? "Emilio is experimenting with a lunch menu. He needs you. I need you.

You know who you remind me of? The kid cop in Lethal Weapon 3. You know, the one who says, 'it's my twenty-first birthday today', and right away you know he's dead meat?

The last time I saw a brow that low I was watching slides in anthropology class

I had you pictured dead in a pool of blood in front of the fireplace. And now you show up alive, and I want to kill you myself. (Zack)

If you can't be a good example, then be a terrible warning.

Tomorrow we go back to normal?" "Sure," Mab said. "It'll be like none of this happened. Except I'll still be pregnant, and you'll still be making dragons, and Glenda will still be pretending that Dreamland is Cancun, and Weaver will still own the only green velvet demon in captivity. Other than that, perfectly normal." "I just meant no demons trying to kill us," Cindy said. "My baseline for normal is a lot lower than yours.

You got shot at and you still got me an air conditioner.

It was a lot easier when we could just brand'em," Ben said. "Then everybody'd know not to mess with our womenfolk.

Sophie held the [hand]cuffs higher, hopint to instill some sense of shame, if not in him, then at least in herself. One look at him and she wanted him again. "I found them in the bed." "That makes sense," Phin said. "That's where I lost them." "I'd ask what you were doing with them," Sophie said, trying not to sound bitchy, "but I probably don't want to know, do I?" "Sure you do. It was exciting and different and depraved." Phin nodded toward the stairs. "Go put them someplace we can find them, and I'll show you later.

Values aren't buses... They're not supposed to get you anywhere. They're supposed to define who you are.

Look, I'm not ready for you," Min said. "I'm not prepared. I don't have any defenses when you're around. I make these plans and I mean it, I really do, and then I kiss you because I'm crazy about you which would be fine if I didn't fall in love with you but there that is, just standing there, and you know it, you know you've got me.

The measuring and mixing always smoothed out her thinking processes - nothing was as calming as creaming butter - and when the kitchen was warm from the oven overheating and the smell of baking chocolate, she took final stock of where she'd been and where she was going. Everything was fine.

This is a woman you've known less than twelve hours. It took you a year to pick out a couch, but you're seriously—" “Yes,” Roger said. “She's the one.

That furniture cost me a fortune! It's designer furniture." "Designed by whom ? Darth Vader ? The Hitler Youth ?

If you can look at somebody and say, 'I never loved you, you were a mistake,' that's one thing. But if you look at him and say, 'You were everything and I poisoned it because I wouldn't stand up for myself,' that's hard. That's too hard.

He was not looking forward to breaking the law. He was straight now. He'd matured. Crime no longer excited him. What?' Ronald said. I didn't say anything.' You're breathing heavy.

Of course it hurt you neanderthal! See that? Thats blood. If theres blood, theres pain. Its like smoke and fire.

Real life doesn't have to suck.

Your cat just got cat hair on me.” “It’s only fair,” Min said. “Your suit just got expensive suit lint on him.

It's a good thing he broke up with you because now you're free for when the right man finds you. Your prince is on his way." "Right. I'm sure he was on his way but a truck hit him.

We're going to need a bigger dock

Nothing but good times ahead.

Every species has a dinner date as part of courting ritual. A woman who won't let you pay for dinner is rejecting your courtship. She may think she's playing fair, or that she's being a feminist, but a very deep level, she knows that she's crossing you off her list of possibilities.

I'm talkin' about you. Stop pretending you're normal. You're insane. Make that work for you.

Dempseys are never in trouble. We just have stretches of life that are more interesting than others.

In the bad old days, men kept women from choosing to work. In the bad new days, women keep women from choosing to stay home.

Dead woman are not romantic,' Sophie said flatly. 'Okay, she's not dead,' Phin said. 'The bear ate her, and she came her brains out.

I'm Min's fairy godmother, Charm Boy,' Liza said, frowning down at him. 'And if you don't give her a happily ever after, I'm going to come back and beat you to death with a snow globe.' What happened to "bibbity bobbity boo"?' Cal asked Min. That was Disney, honey,' Min said. 'It wasn't a documentary.

Say, ‘Thank you, Phin.’ ” “Oh, please.” “Say, Thank youvery much, Phin. ” “I don’t think so.” “Say, ‘You are a great lover, Phin.’ ” “I’m out of here.

Nobody in my life has ever known me the way you do. Nobody in my life has ever made me feel as good as you do. You know me, you know everything about me, and when you leave me, you're going to be leaving the real me, the me nobody else has ever seen, that's who you're going to be rejecting.

His sentences didn't seem to have any verbs, which was par for a politician. All nouns, no action.

Once you know the truth, it's always obvious

What i'm trying to tell you," Min said, "is that im going to grow up to be one of those chubby old ladies. It's in my genes. Like self raising flour. i'm going to pouf." "thats going to work out well for me," Cal said. "because i'm going to grow up to be one of those horny old men who chases chubby old ladies around the couch.

Look, Mother, I am never going to be thin. I'm Norwegian. If you wanted a thin daughter, you should not have married a man whose female ancestors carried cows home from the pasture

Everybody's crooked. The trick is to find out how they're bent.

She slid out from under his arm, and picked up his shirt from the floor. When she put it on, it failed to meet in the middle over her chest. that always worked in the movies, she thought, disgusted, and dropped it on the floor.

Very few people mate for life with the people they fall for at twelve. Doesn't mean is isn't real, doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, doesn't mean it doesn't matter, but basically, we're talking a practice swing in the big game of love.

Drink to me! I just realized that I've slept with everyone at this table! ~Nell

I adored you,” North said. “I just didn’t tell you. You were the most amazing thing that had ever happened to me. Nothing else like you in my world before or since. I was crazy about you. I still am. Ten years later you walk into my office and I see you and it’s like the first time, I can’t think, I can’t talk, I just need you with me. It makes me crazy, but now that I’ve got you back . . . You’re everything, Andie. I should have told you that before.

Christ, I'm in a Doris Day movie

That's a movie quote, right? You know, if you do that with books, people think you're intelligent." Sophie lowered her chin. "If this is your pathetic attempt to seduce me again, you're falling miserably." "I don't seduce woman." Phin shoved back his chair and stood up. "They fall into my open arms." "Clumsy of them.

Broaden your horizons. They're the only ones you'll ever have, so make the suckers as wide as possible.

have you ever met a woman you wanted to give everything to? just turn over everything you had? -Davy Dempsey-

Be sober, be vigilant because your adversary the Devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.

I believe things will work out for us if we just believe in ourselves.

So I know you must have a plan and this wolf—" "Beast," Min said. "—frog, whatever, can't fit your plan." "He's not a frog," Min said. "I kissed him and he did not turn into a prince."He turned into a god. No, he didn't . "Look, I'm never going to see him again, so everybody can relax.