Top 138 Quotes & Sayings by Jerome K. Jerome - Page 3

I had walked into that reading-room a happy, healthy man. I crawled out a decrepit wreck.

If he were a man of strong mind, it only gave him fits; but a person of mere average intellect it usually sent mad.

I saw a great Newfoundland dog the other day sitting in front of a mirror at the entrance to a shop in Regent's Circus, and examining himself with an amount of smug satisfaction that I have never seen equaled elsewhere outside a vestry meeting.

The proverbial Englishman, we know from old chronicler Froissart, takes his pleasures sadly, and the Englishwoman goes a step further and takes her pleasures in sadness itself.

We want everything. All the happiness that earth and heaven are capable of bestowing. Creature comforts, and heart and soul comforts also; and, proud-spirited beings that we are, we will not be put off with a part. Give us only everything, and we will be content. And, after all, Cinderella, you have had your day. Some little dogs never get theirs. You must not be greedy. You have KNOWN happiness. The palace was Paradise for those few months, and the Prince's arms were about you, Cinderella, the Prince's kisses on your lips; the gods themselves cannot take THAT from you.

All is vanity and everybody's vain. Women are terribly vain. So are men - more so, if possible.

Think of the man who first tried German sausage.

Love is woman's business,and in "business" we all lay aside our natural weaknesses.

I plodded conscientiously through the twenty-six letters, and the only malady I could conclude I had not got was housemaid's knee.

What readers ask nowadays in a book is that it should improve, instruct and elevate. This book wouldn't elevate a cow. I cannot conscientiously recommend it for any useful purposes whatever. All I can suggest is that when you get tired of reading "the best hundred books," you may take this for half an hour. It will be a change.

It is only the first baby that takes up the whole of a woman's time.Five or six do not require nearly so much attention as one.

It is in our faults and failings, not in our virtues, that we touch one another and find sympathy. We differ widely enough in our nobler qualities. It is in our follies that we are at one.

Weather in towns is like a skylark in a counting-house-out of place and in the way.

Among all nations there should be vast temples raised where people might worship in silence and listen to it, for it is the voice of God

I don't understand German myself. I learned it at school, but forgot every word of it two years after I had left, and have felt much better ever since.

It takes 3 girls to tow always; two to hold the rope, and the other one runs round and round, and giggles.

I love the chill October days, when the brown leaves lie thick and sodden underneath your feet.

Harris said, however, that the river would suit him to a "T." I don't know what a "T" is (except a sixpenny one, which includes bread-and- butter and cake AD LIB., and is cheap at the price, if you haven't had any dinner). It seems to suit everybody, however, which is greatly to its credit.