Top 98 Quotes & Sayings by Jerry Lawler

Of course, the whole Andy Kaufman angle was classic. I'm real proud of that. I mean that is something people are still talking about 20 years later, making movies about and that sort of thing. I mean not a day goes by that someone doesn't mention Andy Kaufman to me.

In this day and time, with no competition you are really walking a tightrope. I mean you may think that no competition is good, but in reality no competition is really bad.

Certainly it's a business and you've got to have a salesman, but in my mind, when you've got two guys doing the same thing, you don't need one of them.

We've finally told the world that this is sports entertainment, and I think one of the best forms of entertainment is anything that's fun or funny, something that you really enjoy watching or listening to.

I'm an artist and I can draw very well. I'm amazed that everybody can't draw well because I can do it so effortlessly.

As they say, anything can happen in the World Wrestling Federation.

Australia was great. I would advise anybody to go there. In fact, if you couldn't live here, Australia would be the place to live. It's the most Americanized country that I've ever seen in the world.

When I'm in bed with a woman, my favorite move is a wrestling hold called the lip lock.

I've seen a lot of real out-of-line attitudes since I have been in the WWF and those people are still there or are getting a second or third chance or something like that.

We just did a show in Providence, Rhode Island, and we got three puppy shots before we even got on the air, which was great. Although sometimes you get flashed by some puppies that you'd rather not see. They're more like mongrels.

I don't know of any wrestler who hasn't, at one time or another, been with a fan. One time I met a woman at a match in Tennessee, and afterward we went to a little roadside motel. We checked in, went to the room, and enjoyed each other for an hour or so.

I don't think it's blowing my own horn to say the show is not as good. There was chemistry there that took years and years to build and now that's gone. The commentary is lacking.

Judging from what looks like the popularity of this classic wrestling show is that the people like what they have grown to know and love here in Memphis.

But if I've heard this saying once, I've heard it a thousand times- everything happens for a reason. And possibly it does. I just haven't found the reason that this all happened yet.

It's almost like while you are working for the WWF everything is fine and good, but if you are no longer employed by them they want you to just drop off the face of the earth and it's like you never existed.

OSHA had come in and looked at the channel 5 studios and it sort of had something to do with wrestling, but they found that there were some safety concerns that had to be addressed.

I don't think that McMahon thinks very much about the fact that J.R and I have been successful. I don't think that McMahon thinks the wrestling announcers really have that much to contribute the show.

I've been here for nine years, and over that time, these people have become like my family.

Of course, the whole Andy Kaufman angle was classic. I'm real proud of that. I mean that is something people are still talking about 20 years later, making movies about and that sort of thing. I mean not a day goes by that someone doesn't mention Andy Kaufman to me

The only reason Jake 'The Snake' Roberts doesn't drink and drive anymore is because he is afraid he might hit a bump and spill his drink.

You never really know a woman till you meet her in court.

Michael Cole, what did you get for Christmas? Except drunk.

I don't know if he needs a tic tac or toilet paper.

Panties aren't the greatest thing in the world, but they're next to them.

When most people get drunk, they see snakes. But, when snakes get drunk, they see Jake Roberts!

One man's trash is another man's girlfriend.

Dustin Runnels came up to me and asked me if I made my peace with God today. I don't know if I ever had a fight with him.

You know how I impress girls at the gym? I do pull ups: I pull up in a Corvette, in a Cadillac, and in a Mercedes.

I'm not a racist like Bret Hart, I hate everyone equally!

If charisma were rain, Blackman would be a desert.

Helen Hart is so old, she remembers when the Dead Sea was sick.

What do Jake 'The Snake' Roberts and a beer bottle have in common? They're both empty from the neck up!

Women! Can't live with 'em, no resale value.

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.

I'm not embarrassed to be seen with younger women, except when I drop them off at school.

If the Japanese are so smart, why do they eat with sticks?

Being a 3-time Intercontinental champion doesn't make you a great wrestler, just like Larry King having 9 wives don't make him a great husband.

This man can make a horror movie without makeup.

Cheating is only cheating when you get caught.

There is an old adage: love thy neighbor, but don't get caught.

Crash Holly's so short, you can see his feet on his driver's licence photo.

Paul Bearer has more chins than a Chinese phone book!

Do you have a quarter? My mom told me to call her when I meet the women of my dreams.

I asked Sunny if she would ever consider dating you. She said she would rather give birth to a porcupine on fire.

When David killed Goliath, Mae Young called the cops.

When John Cena came to Raw, he immediately got off on the wrong foot with Eric Bischoff. Eric Bischoff said that he thought John Cena was a would be Eminem, and Lord knows one Eminem is enough, but since that time, I have come to respect and really like this kid. This John Cena is a good guy. You can't say anything differently than that.

How could Triple H EVER be mad, how could he EVER have a bad day? How would you like to be married to her?! Wake up in a wonderful mood every morning. I mean, look at that!

You know what they say in Arkansas...manure happens.

You know what they call a good looking girl in Philadelphia... a tourist.

Koko B. Ware is a crossword wrestler: he enters the ring vertically, and leaves horizontally.

As a baby, Bret Hart was so ugly that they had to put tinted windows on his incubator!

Foley looks like an un-made bed.

It used to be that Shamrock was the world's most dangerous man, but now Shamrock is the world's most dangerous speedbump.

Jake Robert's wife is real ugly, but according to him that's nothing a six pack and a light switch can't fix.

Ahmed Johnson came from a neighborhood where the most common words heard was, You have the right to remain silent.

You know, Alundra Blayze, with her looks could star in TV westerns...if she had two more legs.

If Mark Henry was the Titanic, the iceberg would've sank!

Helen Hart is the only person I know with an autographed copy of the Bible.

When you were born and your mom saw your face and your rear end, she said "Oh! Siamesse Twins!"

Andy Kaufman's mom wanted a girl, his father wanted a boy, and they were both satisfied!