Top 416 Quotes & Sayings by Jimmy Fallon

I had a gun and I had to run and shoot, which is not easy.

If people want to see you, they'll find you. If they don't see you on TV, they'll find you on the Internet.

I just feel like people like a little break. Especially at 12:37 at night, you go, like, 'I'm just tired of the snarky right now. I just want to lie down and have somebody make me laugh for an hour. Entertain me, and then I'm going to sleep with a smile on my face.' That's my job; that's what I do.

There couldn't have been a better Hollywood ending for us. It's beyond baseball. It's rooting for your family.

Thank you, yard sales, for being the perfect way to say to your neighbors: 'We think we're important enough to charge money for our garbage.'

Thank you, hard taco shells, for surviving the long journey from factory, to supermarket, to my plate and then breaking the moment I put something inside you. Thank you.

Researches at Yale found a connection between brain cancer and work environment. The No. 1 most dangerous job for developing brain cancer? Plutonium hat model.

There's always going to be someone out there... who doesn't believe in you or who thinks your head is too big or you're not smart enough. But those are the people you need to ignore, and those are the times you need to just keep doing what you love doing.

When I see professional clowns, mimes, or people who makes ballon animals, I think of their relatives and how disappointed they must be.

We had the guys from X Men 2 do the cameras. They had a 360 camera that would go from one car, up in the air and over to another car in a continuous shot while the film was still rolling, going 90 mph.

I'm going to North Pole to help out Santa this year.

The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.

Leno, Conan. They are both really funny. They really know how to land one.

I don't even read the papers. I read 'USA Today' because it has color photos.

I wanted to be a Priest at one point. I was pretty religious. I was an altar boy, and I was good at it. Then, I started meeting girls and I'm like 'You know, maybe I shouldn't be a Priest.'

'Moldova: Yes or No?' That's a great app, and we actually used the geo-locator on your phone, so if you are in Moldova, it will say 'Yes, you're in Moldova.' I'm so excited. People need that. That's the whole point. The whole reason you buy a $500 phone is to see if you are... in Moldova. Or not.

Sandler's always good. Tom Hanks gave me some good advice.

They got a great performance from me. I was happy.

I wanted to be the next Dana Carvey. This was my ultimate goal. If I ever cut into a birthday cake and made a wish, I would wish to be on 'Saturday Night Live.' If I threw a coin into a fountain, I would wish to be on 'Saturday Night Live.' If I saw a shooting star, I would wish to be on 'Saturday Night Live.'

Listening is more important than talking. Just hit your mark and believe what you say. Just listen to people and react to what they are saying.

I didn't act like I was there. I just got into the story.

I can watch an episode of Jerry Seinfeld, and by the end, I'm just walking around my house, you know, talking like Jerry Seinfeld. 'What is that? What are you doing? Who is it? What's going' - you know, I just had that thing, when I grew up, I'd just start talking like people. You know, I always had that.

I don't like to kick people when they're down. I like to kick people when they're up.

'Have fun' is my message. Be silly. You're allowed to be silly. There's nothing wrong with it.

Thank you, people who say 'Wow, you're really photogenic,' for not saying what you really mean: 'Wow, you're really ugly in person.'

You only think of the best comeback when you leave.

I don't shoot guns. I don't know how to do that. I grew Upstate New York, so I fought with my fists.

Don't keep reaching for the stars because you'll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no reason.

Researches tested a new form of medical marijuana that treats pain but doesn't get the user high, prompting patients who need medical marijuana to declare, 'Thank you?'

I read one chapter of a book and put it down. Thank God for Kindle.

I like video games, I like tech, I like being positive.

Thank you... fantasy football draft, for letting me know that even in my fantasies, I am bad at sports.

Sometimes in a movie, the lines are so perfect.

I became a Yankees fan for a few years. But now, I gotta say, I'm really rooting for the Red Sox.

I never sing in the shower. It's very dangerous.

My wife and I got engaged in New Hampshire at this lake house that her family's had forever, and it's on Lake Winnipesaukee. And so we went there every summer as we were dating.

I just really don't like being the center of attention that much. It's kind of ironic.

I, of course, wanted to do something with Drew Barrymore. Please. So we were reading scripts back and forth and then we found this script, Fever Pitch.

My parents were kind of over protective people. Me and my sister had to play in the backyard all the time. They bought us bikes for Christmas but wouldn't let us ride in the street, we had to ride in the backyard. Another Christmas, my dad got me a basketball hoop and put it in the middle of the lawn! You can't dribble on grass.

In New York, there are so many potholes, they're like craters on the moon. That's another traffic thing.

I like doing energetic things.

On 'Late Night,' it's like we're all in on the joke. That's what I wanted it to be. I'm not doing something sneaky. Inside jokes, I don't like those. We can all ride together, and everyone's on the same thing going, 'Aha, I know where you're going here.'

I like being absurd. Being silly.

If you're a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of have to root for your team. They don't have a choice.

We picked the Red Sox because they lose. If you root for something that loses for 86 years, you're a pretty good fan. You don't have to win everything to be a fan of something.

Thank you... motion sensor hand towel machine. You never work, so I just end up looking like I'm waving hello to a wall robot.

I sing in the car if I'm in LA, because you're like soundproofed.

The fans were so psyched that someone was doing a movie about a Boston fan that they were giving their all.

I like to see people laugh who are normally serious.

I'd be nothing without my wife. She's the coolest. She's the greatest. She is the smartest. She's the funniest. I love her so much. She's like the - it's like your best friend for the rest of your life.

I was into the Mets because my Dad worked at IBM where he got free Mets tickets, so I was into the Mets... then I got to 'Saturday Night Live' where my boss has unbelievable N.Y. Yankees tickets, so he invites us to the games. I'm going to all the games, so I might as well root for the team I'm gonna go sit with.

It's all about the script. Reality is key to me and less cutesy.

Thank you... adjustable baseball caps with no logo on the front and mesh netting in the back, for being a great way to say, 'Hi, I'm over 80 years old.'

The running across the field thing, that was the first scene we shot in the movie. We asked the audience to stay for the scene, and 37,000 people stayed.

I'm on so late I'm definitely the last seconds of anyone's attention. So I just want to give them something dumb to laugh at, so they go, 'That's funny,' then fall asleep.

Everyone looks so much better when they smile.

Anything I learned was just work hard, just keep working and don't worry about the outside stuff. Whatever happens will happen.

Politics is pop. Our job as comedians - especially me, as a late-night talk show, which is a broader audience - is to amplify what we think America is thinking.

Arnold Schwarzenegger's publicist told USA Today that the actor has not ruled out running for governor of California, saying that he will make a decision soon. Reportedly Arnold needs that time to learn how to pronounce 'gubernatorial.'

I'd do entire music videos in my bedroom, where I used to stand in front of my television memorizing the moves to Michael Jackson's 'Beat It.'