Top 73 Quotes & Sayings by Joel McHale

Explore popular quotes and sayings by an American comedian Joel McHale.
Last updated on September 17, 2024.
Joel McHale

Joel Edward McHale is an American actor, comedian, producer, screenwriter and television host. He is best known for hosting The Soup (2004–2015) and his role as Jeff Winger on the NBC sitcom Community (2009–2015). He has performed in the films Spider-Man 2 (2004), Open Season 2 (2008), Spy Kids: All the Time in the World (2011), Ted (2012) and The Happytime Murders (2018). He also starred in the short-lived CBS sitcom The Great Indoors (2016–2017), hosted a reboot of Card Sharks (2019–2021), and portrays the superhero Sylvester Pemberton / Starman on the show Stargirl (2020–present). In 2020, he hosted a special aftershow interviewing key subjects from the Netflix documentary series Tiger King. McHale voiced Johnny Cage in the direct-to-video martial arts film Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpion's Revenge (2020), a role he reprised in the sequel Mortal Kombat Legends: Battle of the Realms (2021). He also voices X-PO in Lego Dimensions (2015–2017) and The Scientist in Fortnite (2021–present).

You have to have talent. You have to get the audition and then you have to nail the audition.
I like anything with Zak Bagans and ghost hunters.
It's important to have the right agent - people that are working hard for you. But an actor needs to be in control of their career no matter how good the representation is.
'Big Brother,' I can't believe people watch. It's just people whispering to each other for hours and then some silly challenge like, who can pull the most stones out of a stuffed alligator, with some product tie-in.
E! didn't like it when we'd make fun of clips from ESPN - they'd be like, 'That's sports! That's not our audience!' — © Joel McHale
E! didn't like it when we'd make fun of clips from ESPN - they'd be like, 'That's sports! That's not our audience!'
Acting is what I'd always wanted to do; hosting 'The Soup' was more because of Greg Kinnear.
In prison, inmates sometimes use Cheetos and grape juice as makeup. I wouldn't use that beauty regimen around Britney Spears - she might lick your face off!
Now I tell my mom, I go, 'Mom, you know when I was a kid and you told me to turn off the television and go outside and play?' I'd be like, 'You literally were hurting my career when you did that. You literally stopped me from doing now, what I do for a living.'
There are always ridiculous things on television or on the Internet that make people go, 'Did you see that?' That could be anything from a clip from the 'Real Housewives' to someone jumping off their roof and missing the pool to a zillion other things.
If you have a dream, just lie about it. Lie your way unto your dreams.
I knew I was good at sports, and I knew I loved acting and performing, so I really dove into that, and school always became secondary.
The #MeToo movement is insanely serious, and there's no comedy to be mined out of that.
I don't think the NFL had the slightest intention of taking me, except as maybe a water boy.
When I started 'The Soup' back in 2004, I was so anxious because I can't really read, and I had to read teleprompter.
It's an awesome thing to be flung out onto the stage twice a weekend in front of 250 people, and you have to make it up as you go along.
When you are an actor or trying to be a working actor in L.A., most people have commercial agents, and then they have legitimate agents, and you just end up going on a thousand auditions.
My children do not know what it's like to flip around channels. They either go to Netflix, Apple TV, or they pull up YouTube, and they can watch their shows. — © Joel McHale
My children do not know what it's like to flip around channels. They either go to Netflix, Apple TV, or they pull up YouTube, and they can watch their shows.
'Maury' and 'Jerry Springer' get so theatrical that it's hard to believe.
On 'The Soup,' we were never a political show.
I like 'American Idol' because it's an actual talent contest.
The editors and the creators of 'The Bachelor' and 'The Bachelorette,' they are so good at casting and at finding these young, beautiful lunatics to go on the show.
Once you've been booked, people in Hollywood say, 'Oh he must be good.' All the while you're the same actor.
Yes, I would say my comedy is grunge, evidenced by the fact my jokes have put an end to big-hair glam comedy.
Joel McHale is so money, he should be printed on money.
With 'The Soup,' obviously it has to be totally scripted out, and then, within that, I improvise punchlines and sometimes setups if I can't read the teleprompter properly.
I love making fun of YouTubers.
My goal and my career is definitely not to be famous. That's a really horrible goal, just to be famous for the sake of having fame.
I always excelled in sports, so I knew I had advantages there. That really gave me, like, confidence and self-esteem.
When E! ended the show, it wasn't because it was low-rated. It was because E! did not want to pay union rerun dues.
E! always wanted me to keep it to entertainment news or entertainment and no sports or anything like that, and don't get too weird.
I don't feel any pressure to joke about #MeToo - in fact, I'd say you shouldn't, because it's a great movement that is exposing some really awful behavior and hopefully changing the culture.
Follow what your head is telling you and work hard. That's the big secret.
I couldn't read the way that other students read, so I would just cheat, which, in my silly brain, I was like, 'This is a skill that I'm developing - how to just get around everything!'
I operate off of fear almost exclusively.
All I care about is making jokes that are funny and making people laugh.
Netflix is just wonderful.
If you become famous and you start making money, then people want to give you things. It's the exact opposite of how it's supposed to be.
I watched the Oscars, but there wasn't a side of me that was like "Oh, one day..." It was mostly "This is what I want to do, and how do I do it?" As soon as I decided that I was going to be an actor, for about five years after that, I just decided to not do much acting. It was like "Okay, this is what you're going to be later on."
What was my dream when I was 18? My big decision when I was 18 was full keg or pony-size keg. I knew by about 16 or 17 that I was going to be an actor. That was based on the fact that there were not a lot of things that I could be really good at, or that I would enjoy enough to not run out of the building screaming.
There is some stuff on television that is shocking that it's on there, and shocking that it's not being censored. We run to that with torches and pitchforks and go after it. On Flavor Of Love, when a woman took a dump on the stairs, I mean, that's like J.R. being shot on Dallas, or like maybe the last episode of M*A*S*H. It's a milestone on television that's covered with chlamydia.
I knew I wanted to be an actor. I just kept saying, "Until somebody tells me to stop, until I have to go get a real job, and until I'm practically homeless, I'm not gonna get one."
One of my favorite things being on movies is that when you're working, it's the best thing that's ever happened, and then in the downtime, you socialize and go to dinner. — © Joel McHale
One of my favorite things being on movies is that when you're working, it's the best thing that's ever happened, and then in the downtime, you socialize and go to dinner.
I've always been very opinionated, for lack of a better term, about art. Not to sound too arrogant, but I guess I'm a connoisseur of telling people what I think is good and bad.
I have always survived with comedy, in that I grew up very dyslexic and did not get good grades. I always thought I was dumb, and there are many people out there that would agree
Our mantra is that 90 percent of all television is bad, and ten percent has never been better. We make fun of that 90 percent.
Without a doubt, Robert Rodriguez is the reason I was drawn to it. The fact that he even knew who I was and then was interested in me for the role was amazing. I am a huge fan of his and it's like a bucket list thing for me to be able to work with him and knowing that Jessica Alba and Jeremy Piven were in it I knew that part was going to be good and as you said, the pedigree of the series was great, so it was really one of those things I couldn't resist.
So when Community came up and then the movie roles started happening I was very grateful. I am trying to be careful with the movie roles I select because if you pull the trigger too quickly, like choosing a lead role in a crappy movie then you will be put in movie jail and you will never be heard from again. If it's not a big hit you'll be forgotten pretty fast.
Five-hundred years ago people were saying in manuscripts, "Can you believe these kids today?" They were saying that same phrase everyone says now. No one can believe the youth and what they're doing and how culture is going and how it might fall apart.
I don't know how (producer) Dan Harmon put that together but he did. Everyone gets along and we all babysit Chevy Chase (laughs) and it all works out. Plus we are given a lot of freedom to riff off each other and compliment each other's comedic style. The group is so talented, whether it be Donald Glover or Allison Brie and now Jim Rash who plays the Dean is finally a full member of the cast - oh my gosh, he is so funny. I call him Rumplestiltskin; he can spin comedy out of anything. I am in such a blessed situation - if only more people would watch it.
Hours is an understatement. I honestly don't know how the director and editor decide each week what actually makes it on the air. There's of course director and cast commentary on each episode on the DVD. We had a blast recording that.
It was great having them around and I have to say pretty weird seeing them all grown up! Plus we have Jeremy Piven; and Ricky Gervais agreed to be in it and Antonio Banderas has a cameo in and that's a testament to Robert. He's such a good director and such a good guy. He gets everybody, because everyone wants to work with him.
I would like eternal life. I would like to have the power to choose who lives and dies. — © Joel McHale
I would like eternal life. I would like to have the power to choose who lives and dies.
I used humor as survival, as a weapon and as comfort.
I love performing, and it allows me to be very discerning about what I choose next, thank god.
I think we are as screwed as a culture as we are saved as a culture.
It's pretty difficult to promote something the week after Christmas and the week before New Year's.
I love the challenge of an entire year has gone by and how has that affected the character you're playing.
I don't really know. I think the first test is when you're very little and you fart, and you laugh at it and so do your friends and family. I knew before I was funny I was very annoying so I have that covered. I think it was because I was not very good in school I used humor as a defense mechanism. When I started doing plays and stuff at school I decided that I was going to keep doing it until someone tells me to stop and get a real job.
People have always said since TV was invented what a cultural wasteland it is but I think it is the worst and the best. It is the golden age of television.
Bill O'Reilly, Megyn Kelly and Sean Hannity are the Mount Rushmore of keeping old people angry.
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