Top 17 Quotes & Sayings by Jon Glaser

Changing the world, one exclamation point at a time.

For me, it feels like my ideas are more specific to random thoughts or single ideas I might have, as opposed to being influenced by a general perception of absurdity.

I’m sort of known in the comedy community as “Smooth Sailing,” just ’cause everything always goes great. I’ve always had success at every turn.

For the most part, people don't know who I am.

There were plenty of times some writers would make some kind of stupid joke to each other and then it was on TV that night or that week.

I don't mind not having recognition. If it happens, fine, but it doesn't bother me that it's not there.

"Smooth Sailing" and "Hall of Fame" are my top two nicknames. "Cool Guy." "Jolly Jon." "Fun Jon." There's a lot of derivatives of Jon. "Cool Jon." Some people took "Smooth Sailing" and "Fun Jon" and made "Smooth Jon." That's a good one. It's just starting to catch on with the general public. Just every now and then, "Hey! Smooth Jon!" Or "You're Smooth Jon, right?!" People aren't quite sure. I'm like, "Yeah." "Okay, cool, that's what I thought!"

I suppose we all have a lil' inner or outer a-hole inside of us, just waiting for the right opportunity to rear their own beautiful buttholes.

If you're a stand-up, you're more or less yourself.

I didn't necessarily set out to think of a show to make fun of reality shows.

If you're doing stand-up, there is no fourth wall; you're engaging an audience.

It's always been about when I do theater, the audience is just a viewer, not taking part in what's onstage. Whereas if you're doing stand-up, it's inclusive.

What one person might see as violent, someone else may see as beautiful. Maybe even art.

Ground the main character in stupidity. Hire a good cast and a good crew.

I'm sort of known in the comedy community as "Smooth Sailing," just 'cause everything always goes great. I've always had success at every turn. Everything has gone well for me. I've never had a project fail. Everywhere I go, it's "What's up, Smooth Sailing?! How are the seas today, buddy?" I'm like, "Calm as can be!"

I really just think it's disgusting when people - to actually say that you want to be famous, it's just gross. There's nothing wrong with fame, but to seek out the spotlight just to be on TV for the sake of being on TV, and to put your children on there, I think, is especially disgusting.

I always feel like I'm forgetting things.