Top 346 Quotes & Sayings by Josh Billings - Page 2
Explore popular quotes and sayings by an American comedian Josh Billings.
Last updated on December 23, 2024.
It is a very delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his own estimation, and yours too.
One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.
I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else.
It's not only the most difficult thing to know one's self, but the most inconvenient.
Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit.
Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do.
When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him.
The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm.
Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take.
If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself.
I haven't got as much money as some folks, but I've got as much impudence as any of them, and that's the next thing to money.
The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it.
Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal.
About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is this, the poor suffer misery, while the rich have to enjoy it.
I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am most certain of the first time.
One of the rarest things that a man ever does, is to do the best he can.
Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can't suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.
There are people who are always anticipating trouble, and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen to them.
Don't ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it.
It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit.
Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected.
Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at.
If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We could not even eat hash with any safety.
Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first.
The great art of writing is knowing when to stop.
Don't mistake pleasure for happiness. They are a different breed of dogs.
The more humble a man is before God the more he will be exalted; the more humble he is before man, the more he will get rode roughshod.
Opinions should be formed with great caution, and changed with greater.
Some folks are wise and some otherwise.
Wisdom deprives even poverty of half its power.
True wisdom is plenty of experience, observation, and reflection. False wisdom is plenty of ignorance, arrogance, and impudence.
As a general thing, an individual who is neat in his person is neat in his morals.
Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.
The man who has never been tempted doesn't know how dishonest he is.
The devil is the father of lies, but he neglected to patent the idea, and the business now suffers from competition.
As the flint contains the spark, unknown to itself, which the steel alone can awaken to life, so adversity often reveals to us hidden gems, which prosperity or negligence would forever have hidden.
There are people so addicted to exaggeration that they actually can't tell the truth without lying.
Health is like money, we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it.
As a general rule, if you want to get at the truth - hear both sides and believe neither.
It ain't what a man don't know that makes him a fool, but what he does know that ain't so.
If men were stubborn just in proportion as they were right, stubbornness would take her seat among the virtues; but men are generally stubborn just in proportion as they are ignorant and wrong.
If you would make yourself agreeable wherever you go, listen to the grievances of others but never relate your own.
Marrying a woman for her money is very much like setting a rat-trap, and baiting it with your own finger.
Music hath the charm to soothe a savage beast, but I'd try a revolver first.
It is a great art to be superior to others without letting them know it.
I never knew a man troubled with melancholy, who had plenty to do, and did it.
Silence is a still noise.
Plenty of folks are so contrary that if they should fall into the river, they would insist upon floating upstream.
Liberty, like chastity, once lost, can never be regained in its original purity.
We mingle in society not so much to meet others as to escape ourselves.
When the truth is in your way, you are on the wrong road.
If you do not know how to lie, cheat, and steal, turn your attention to politics and learn.
Laughter is the fireworks of the soul.
The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large.
Politeness is better than logic. You can often persuade when you cannot convince.
There is not a whole lot of fun in medicine but there is a whole lot of medicine in fun.
Experience is a school where a man learns what a big fool he has been.
Ignorance ain't not knowin' stuff; ignorance is knowin' stuff that AIN'T TRUE.
Men who have much to say use the fewest words.
A learned fool is one who has read everything and simply remembered it.
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