Top 346 Quotes & Sayings by Josh Billings - Page 4

A good place to visit, but a poor place to stay.

Adam invented love at first sight, one of the greatest labor-saving machines the world ever saw.

I would much rather always look forward to the time when I am going to ride in a carriage, than to look back on the time when I used to.

Wise men have but few confidants, and cunning ones none.

In the whole history of the world there is but one thing that money cannot buy...to wit--the wag of a dog's tail.

Prejudice is a house-plant which is very apt to wilt if you take it out-of-doors among folks.

The books are balanced in heaven, not here.

There is a sort of charm in ugliness, if the person has some redeeming qualities and is only ugly enough.

When a man makes up his mind to become a rascal, he should examine himself closely and see if he isn't better constructed for a fool.

Pity cost nothing and ain't worth nothing.

Men of genius are like eagles, they live on what they kill, while men of talents are like crows, they live on what has been killed for them.

Man isn't a fool for his ignorance, but rather for believing things that are wrong.

Experience is a grindstone; and it is lucky for us, if we can get brightened by it, and not ground.

Ignorance is the wet-nurse of prejudice.

Nature makes all the noblemen; wealth, education, or pedigree never made one yet.

Unless we put heart and soul into our labor we but brutify our actions.

We are ap tu hate them, who wont take our advice, and despise them who do.

Friendship is like earthenware, once broken, it can be mended; love is like a mirror, once broken that ends it.

Pedantry is paraded knowledge.

Jealousy is one of love's parasites.

It's not what we don't know that prevents us from succeeding; it's what we know that just ain't so that is our greatest obstacle.

Debt is like any other trap, easy enough to get into, but hard enough to get out of.

Advice can be like cod liver oil, easy enough to administer but not so pleasant to take for anybody.

Rivalry and envy are Siamese twins.

Anxiety will bear a lot of nuisance.

Poverty is the step-mother of genius.

True valor is like honesty; it enters into all that a man sees and does.

I called my cat William because no shorter name fits the dignity of his character. Poor old man, he has fits now, so I call him Fitz-William.

Incredulity is the wisdom of the fool.

A man cannot learn to be wise any more than he can learn to be handsome.

The best creed we can have is charity toward the creeds of others.

Most men would rather be charged with malice than with making a blunder.

If a man is right, he can't be too radical; if he is wrong, he can't be too conservative.

I've never known an auctioneer to lie unless it was absolutely necessary.

Fashion makes fools of some, sinners of others, and slaves of all.

Take the humbug out of this world, and you haven't much left to do business with.

It is a statistical fact that the wicked work harder to reach hell than the righteous do to enter heaven

Caution, though very often wasted is a good risk to take.

Silence is said to be golden, but the best fools the world has ever produced had nothing to say on the subject

Tears are a good alterative, but a poor diet.

A secret ceases to be a secret if it is once confided - it is like a dollar bill, once broken, it is never a dollar again.

It is easier to be virtuous than it is to appear so, and it pays better.

As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for.

Everyone who does the best he can is a hero.

Error will slip through a crack, while truth will stick in a doorway.

The quickest way to take the starch out of someone who is always blaming himself is to agree with him.

I do not know of a better cure for sorrow than to pity somebody else.

Selfish people, with no heart to speak of, have the best time of it.

There are only two qualities in the world: efficiency and inefficiency; and only two sorts of people: the efficient and the inefficient.

My advice to those who are about to begin, in earnest, the journey of life, is to take their heart in one hand and a club in the other.

Virtue does not consist in the absence of the passions, but in the control of them.

Fuss is half-sister to hurry, and neither of them can do anything without getting in their own way.

Good nonsense is good sense in disguise.

Too many individuals are like Shakespeare's definition of "echo,"--babbling gossips of the air.

Shame is the dying embers of virtue.

Young widows still bide their time.

Put an Englishman into the garden of Eden, and he would find fault with the whole blasted concern; put a Yankee in, and he would see where he could alter it to advantage; put an Irishman in, and he would want to boss the thing; put a Dutchman in, and he would proceed to plant it.

Show me a thoroughly contented person, and I will show you a useless one.

It is true that wealth won't make a man virtuous, but I notice there ain't anybody who wants to be poor just for the purpose of being good.

The nearest we can come to) perfect happiness is to cheat ourselves with the belief that we have got it.