Top 78 Quotes & Sayings by Josh Gondelman
Explore popular quotes and sayings by an American author Josh Gondelman.
Last updated on November 21, 2024.
Honest doesn't necessarily mean unfiltered.
I feel like, in Boston, I was a little too complacent. I could get on stage when I wanted. I didn't feel like I was pushing myself. I could get work in New England and not have to travel too much.
Toughing out the winter is a dedication to my heritage, both in terms of not going 'soft' by kowtowing to nature's volatility and staying physically close to my family in New England. I don't run from that kind of pressure.
When I was young - like, young young - I would read all the time. I would read when I was walking places. My taste was, like, all over the place. I wouldn't even call it taste. It was just like, what was there.
I think the term 'Twitter comedian' can seem like a pejorative because it's not a job, really, and there's such a low barrier for entry to get started.
Even under the best circumstances, speaking at your own wedding ceremony is a high pressure endeavor. What even constitutes a vow? I always picture them as exclamations you bellow at the sky.
My mom worked as an education director.
The modern ease of catfishing has had the tangential effect of growing a cottage industry of websites offering the services of fake Internet girlfriends.
I grew up in Stoneham, a little suburb of Boston. It's pronounced 'Stone 'em' because Massachusetts doesn't bend to the will of 'how letters are supposed to be said.'
Why is it okay to write a work of literary fiction where horrible, explicit things happen, where you can't write a book of humor where silly, explicit things are happening?
I usually think to do pep talks on Twitter if I'm on the road, at home and my girlfriend is out of town, or if I'm at home and up later then my girlfriend and our dog Bizzy - like, if they're both asleep but I'm kind of wired.
I don't court haters. I don't thrive on people not liking things that I do. I treat people the way I want to be treated.
As a kid, I always loved Mel Brooks' stuff - 'The 2,000 Year Old Man' record was something my dad put me onto.
There are very funny people who aren't good at Twitter and people who are really good on Twitter where that's the best or the only thing they do. There are some people I know that don't write creatively outside of Twitter, but they're so good at Twitter.
I just loved jokes so much as a child. I remember wanting to perform at, like... age seven by reading from a kids' joke book, and my parents being like, 'That's not what standup comedy is,' and me being like, 'Not yet it isn't! I'm going to change the game.'
A standup set ends on a buildup of tension and subsequent release for a big laugh.
It would not occur to me to write a joke like, 'This would be great if I was more like Andrew Dice Clay.' It's not the voice I write in - which is largely an extension of the voice in my head that I think in.
I love Boston, and I had a very lovely childhood in Massachusetts.
I broke my wrist at summer camp playing a game called 'volleybat,' which was baseball but with a volleyball. It is as dangerous as it sounds.
'Are you sure you're going to be warm enough?' is a question I get a lot.
I live very gently.
I'm not religious. But I'm also not spiritual.
I always loved jokes. It's such a dumb, facile thing to say, but it's true. I remember being a kid and getting those joke books from the Scholastic Book Club and loving comedy from a very young age.
I try to be kind, and I try to reflect that in my comedy, but I'm also incredibly bad at being mean. I can't pull it off effectively, so I always end up reverting back to politeness.
Big romantic gestures are only as strong as the relationships they happen in.
'The Rap Year Book' is really great. Shea Serrano wrote it, and it became this huge phenomenon where he sold out everywhere and made the bestseller list just on the strength of his fans on Twitter wanting him to succeed.
I've always been very un-fun. I'm a habit person. I have a very weak version of an addictive personality.
For many comedians, two common anxiety triggers include performing in front of family members and doing brand new material.
In my early years doing standup, I bombed a lot.
Although my grandmother was a strict parent and abided my grandfather's kosher diet, as a Nana, she had grown away from religion and was almost unbelievably permissive.
Nonresidents have a tendency to rush their visits to Harlem.
I tweeted that Tom Brady's politics are 'garbage,' which may have been hyperbolic.
Especially when I'm heckled, that's a sticky situation because I don't defuse it... I really envy guys who have a grittier onstage presence and can really go after someone. I used to teach preschool.
I had a Screech-from-'Saved by the Bell' kind of vibe in that I hung out with people and had friends while having, like, big, curly hair and being generally a dork.
I like to see my parents, and they like it when I'm around.
My comedy isn't clean; it's just friendly. So I get asked to do a lot of clean shows. It's like, 'Oh, I have a clean vibe, but I say gross, weird stuff.' It's just, it's very gentle the way I say it. It's not upsetting or jarring to people, because I'm not very aggressive.
I'm a big fan of saying the thing that is not necessarily sincere or earnest, but definitely honest.
What I try to do, what I attempt to do, is say things that I mean at least at an emotional level.
My general advice for writers/comedians is, make stuff you like and are proud of. Put it in a place where people can see it, whether that's onstage or on the Internet or wherever. Just do the things that make you happy creatively, and then show them to people.
The Super Bowl is an occasion that's really associated with abundance - lots of snacks, parties, spectacle - and so it would be great if there were also some kind of tradition of generosity attached to it as well.
I love 'Another Round.' It's Heben Nigatu and Tracy Clayton's podcast that's through BuzzFeed, and they're real funny and really themselves. And I like it because it's very funny, but it's outside the realm of comedians talking about comedy.
I appreciate how central religion is in the lives other people, but it has never resonated with me. I imagine this is how lots of people feel about things I love, like rap music or, it turns out, sports.
Sure, sometimes I get teased for being the guy who likes everything, but I don't think of myself as someone apart from this world.
My aesthetic is, in short, 'cool substitute teacher.'
When you're confined to a hospital bed, there aren't many appointments you can make. You await visits from friends and family members. You enjoy the coconut ice cream they smuggle in. You tolerate the erratic and invasive visits of doctors and nurses, hoping that one of them will bring you closer to going home.
A vest, as a clothing item, always makes a statement, but depending on context, those declarations vary a great deal.
I played sports because I think it's mandatory in the greater Boston area regardless of your aptitude. It's like, well, what else would you be doing?
When I started out doing comedy, I was still in college and was working day jobs. I taught preschool for a few years. And then I got more into freelance writing. So stand-up has always been my primary independent creative mode of expression. I've done it my whole adult and young adult life.
I remember, when I was a kid, my dad would subscribe to the BMG Music Club, and we got that initial 12 CDs for a penny... I think it was cassettes. Eight CDs or 12 cassettes, something like that.
I drink iced coffee nearly every morning and many afternoons year-round.
I don't resent at all people saying, 'Oh, he's like a sweetheart'... but within comedy, it's a very funny way to talk about someone because it usually means they don't have much of an act.
It's a very lovely reputation to have - being a kind person. I try to live up to the fact that people think that about me.
I value niceness. But now, as a grown person, I value goodness above that. Because niceness doesn't change anything, and goodness changes things.
I was a weirdo, but a well-liked weirdo.
I don't consider myself a nerd; I consider myself a dork more. I'm closer to a dork, if anything, just because I'm not good at stuff. I'm more like a failed non-nerd.
My childhood friends and I would have been featured in 'The Achievers: The Story of the Big Lebowski Fans,' but I never signed the release form we received from the producers. I am both proud and ashamed of this fact.
I grew up in the Boston suburbs and inherited a stubborn New England refusal to acknowledge frigid temperatures.
I like comedy that's very specific and isn't afraid to lose people through its specificity.
I don't want to have to be a teacher so I can be a comedian.
I never assume anyone will see or like things I do, honestly!
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