Top 221 Quotes & Sayings by Karl Pilkington - Page 4

I think it's clever how Rome have kept a load of old stuff. There's no overheads, yet people are going over there to see it.

I told her that I can't be doing with the Wonder part of these trips, but she said it should be the icing on the cake... I've never liked wedding cake due to the amount of icing, but then imagine a wedding cake without it; just a dark, stodgy, horrible dry sponge. The icing covers up the mess, and that's how I feel about most of the Wonders. They use them to get people to visit a place that you probably wouldn't think about visiting.

I don't want to go about offending people, that's not my plan.

There is someone for everyone, i'nt there. That's always my thing. And it's reassuring I think.

We'll all die out eventually. Humans will be gone. And all I'm saying is, when people worry about polar bears disappearing or whatever, it's like, well that's life, things will come and go, we'll find new species...

So you're sayin that it's easy to send somat up to space, but you don't believe there's a little banana machine?

You never see an old man eating a Twix

Why is it alright to be going around, going mental with a gun, shooting all the monkeys and killing them? Because one day we're going to run out.

I am pessimistic, I think that's the best way to be, because if you're always expecting the best - the best doesn't always happen. Nine times out of 10 it doesn't. I'm surprised when things go smoothly. I don't know what's wrong with being pessimistic - unless you are such a pessimist that you don't do anything.

If Camels are the ship of the dessert, this one is the Titanic

Every problem solved is a problem made.

It's interesting to see that people had so much clutter even thousands of years ago. The only way to get rid of it all was to bury it, and then some archaeologist went and dug it all up.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt this lost, even in Wales.

What's that plate that's above a saucer but below a plate?

It is hard eating a little kangaroo knob.

By 78 you've done everything you're going to do. If you haven't bungee-jumped by the time you're 78 you're not going to do it.

Treat the world like a head.

It's 2006, why are they still using the index finger?

Knowledge is almost annoying.

I'm a bit rubbish at knowing when something is good. But if it goes out and I can say, "I wasn't as bad as I thought I would be", then I'll be happy. Until then, I'll be thinking, "I shouldn't be here!"

Happiness is like a cake: have too much of it and you get sick of it.

There is no need for ants to have the ability to fly

The Web is the new book though, innit?

At some point, some insect has had sex with a leaf.

I'm more open to give things a go, but what I'm not good at yet is holding back. If something is daft or rubbish, I just go, I can't be doing it.

Stay green, stay in the woods, and stay safe.

It's no good operating on eyes if your eyes are asleep.

From someone whose dad buys him a spade for Christmas, I thought you'd be grateful!

There’s fish in here that I’ve read about that are so see-through that they’re invisible. So I don’t even think they know they exist.

I know who I am. Bloody hell, I'm getting enough bills for Karl Pilkington so I hope I am him, 'cos if I'm not, I have no idea who I'm paying for

The Tudors, I don't even know if I had a family back then.

I mean, I am into nature and seeing whales. I went whale-watching, and I was really looking forward to that, but when you see it on TV and you see other programs do it, you're seeing close-ups of these massive creatures, and the music that's added gives you a certain feeling.

There was always something. It's like with this one, there's always something that's mad that I look back on it and go, that's pretty amazing to say that I've done that or been there.

Stop looking at the walls, look out the window.

Where you are is what you eat. When I'm in London I'll have beans on toast for lunch. On holiday - what? Tapas? Go on then I'll have a bit. You eat whatevers in that area.

I always have a problem liking things I'm told I should like.

I know when I was a kid I ate a beetle. I ate a beetle because I thought it was licorice.

My brain's just full of passwords.

Fishing: I don't really like it. I don't really like the expression on the fish's face.

It's just hassle of having friends and family an' that.

A block of blood should not have the word "cake" after it...they might as well say "shite gateau