Top 10 Quotes & Sayings by Kathleen Madigan

Explore popular quotes and sayings by an American comedian Kathleen Madigan.

Last updated on December 21, 2024.

Kathleen Madigan is an American comedian and TV personality. In addition to her stand up comedy performances, she is a regular guest on a variety of U.S. television programs.

American - Comedian | Born: September 30, 1965

Source: Wikipedia

The bus scares me. Way too many gross people on the bus. Sixty-five people on the bus and I was the last one on. I felt like calling Unsolved Mysteries. 'Yeah, I found everybody.

Kathleen Madigan

People entertain me more than I entertain them.

Kathleen Madigan

I bowled for two years in college, because I was drunk and needed shoes.

Kathleen Madigan

I would like to be an FBI profiler. I'm fascinated with psychology, but I wouldn't want to deal with people and their problems in my office. I like to figure them out from afar, narrow a case down, figure it out, but it sounds like a lot of science.

Kathleen Madigan

I always give homeless people money, and my friends yell at me, 'He's only going to buy more alcohol and cigarettes.' And I'm thinking, 'Oh, like I wasn't?'

Kathleen Madigan

Some people are mean, and when you look at their page, they only write mean things, but I have a great time with a twitter person. It's not even to promote myself, just to entertain me.

Kathleen Madigan

I don't have a computer. I'm going to wait until that whole fad is over. I was suckered in on the Pet Rock. Not twice, people.

Kathleen Madigan

Kids? It's like living with homeless people. They're cute but they just chase you around all day long going, 'Can I have a dollar? I'm missing a shoe! I need a ride!

Kathleen Madigan

I don't really write jokes. I wait for stuff to happen in life, and then I tell it on stage.

Kathleen Madigan

I never have goals or dreams. My sister says it's pathetic and lazy, but I had a goal, to tell jokes to pay bills and not have to live in a trailer. So, I think I'm living my fantasy. I don't have another.

Kathleen Madigan

Top 10 Quotes & Sayings by Kathleen Madigan

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