Top 154 Quotes & Sayings by Kinky Friedman - Page 2
Explore popular quotes and sayings by an American novelist Kinky Friedman.
Last updated on December 3, 2024.
May the God of your choice bless you.
On the whole I prefer cats to women because cats seldom if ever use the word 'relationship'.
Always respect your superiors, if you have any.
If you're lookin' for a helpin' hand, try the one at the end of your arm.
True love usually results in a hostage situation.
If you're going to be an artist, you need to be an original.
You never marry the person you first see 'Casablanca' with.
In six days the Lord created the heavens and the earth and all the wonders therein. There are some of us who feel that He might have taken just a little more time.
I came from an upper-middle class home, which is always a hard cross for a country singer to bear.
The child-teacher relationship is crucial.
I don't believe in carrying a weapon. If somebody wants to shoot me, he'll have to bring his own gun.
Man's ability to delude himself is infinite.
There is a difference between who is important and who is significant.
Jerry Jones and Chris Christie are probably the most important latent homosexual relationship since Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson.
If you're patient and you wait long enough, something will usually happen and it'll usually be something you don't like.
The people I respect all died broke and despairing. They didn't leave a lot of hammered iron behind them like Donald Trump has done.
I'm ready for anything. That's probably why it never happens.
A happy childhood is the worst possible preparation for life.
I'm going to lower the drinking age to eighteen. If you're old enough to die in Iraq, you're old enough to drink.
I've got a head of hair better than Rick Perry; it's just not in a place I can show you.
The only thing that really differentiates Texas from any other place in the world is the proclivity of its people to urinate outdoors and to attach a certain amount of importance to this popular pastime.
I believe that Willy Nelson is the hillbilly Dalai Lama.
My three favorite travel writers of all time are Robert Louis Stevenson, Graham Greene, and Chuck Thompson. Smile When You're Lying not only tells the truth about the travel-writing racket, it gets to the heart of some of the travel industry's best-kept secrets.
I was so high, I needed a stepladder to scratch my own ass.
If you elect me the first Jewish justice of the peace, I'll reduce the speed limits to 54.95!
I am not anti-death penalty, but I'm damned sure anti-the-wrong-guy-getting-executed.
If you don't love Jesus-go to hell!
My plan is to bring back like the Bracero Program from 1944 that ran for 20 years where the Mexican government vets these people. I mean, they pay for it, and they get green cards, and they're actually legitimate. And then seal the border.
Finding a cat--or having a cat find you--can change your world as much as marriage, divorce, love, death, or even winning the lottery can, and sometimes more.
The art of writing fiction is to sail as dangerously close to the truth as possible without sinking the ship
You've got to find what you love and let it kill you. I don't think any of us should ever forget that.
I've been in true love many times. I just try to avoid it as much as possible. For if there's one thing I know about true love, it is that sooner or later, it results in a hostage situation.
That's the government. Having been a politician and a musician, I can tell you which one is a higher calling. If musicians ran the country, it would be a much different place. We wouldn't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'd work late.
One thing we are sure of is there's no one like Nelson Mandela out there. That's too bad for us.
What has six balls and screws Texans? The Texas Lottery.
I'm not afraid to live. I'm not afraid to fail. I'm not afraid to succeed. I'm not afraid to fall in love. I'm not afraid to be alone. I'm just afraid I might have to stop talking about myself for five minutes.
I'm well aware that the Nelson Mandelas and the Winston Churchills of the world happened by accident. They usually come out of nowhere.
Happiness is a moving target.
Sometimes performing someone else's song is more difficult than writing your own.
My definition of an artist is anyone who's ahead of his time and behind on his rent.
Seventeen publishers rejected the manuscript, at which time we knew we had something pretty hot.
If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been proven horrendously, irrevocably wrong.
We're all worm bait waiting to happen. It's what you do while you wait that matters.
All my adult life I've been in the practice of giving advice to people who are happier than I am.
Friday night was the night most people thought they were supposed to have fun. Trouble was most people didn't know what fun was or how to have it, so things usually ended up pretty ugly.
Every time you see a beautiful woman, just remember, somebody got tired of her.
People are drooling for the truth. They want honesty from politicians, and they're not getting it.
Now I have a cat. Well, that's not quite accurate. A cat and I have each other.
The good teachers are bailing out. Education is very important.... This should be the centerpiece on the table of Texas.
I've achieved many of my dreams, and I want to see that some others get a chance to, especially younger Texans.
I'm not for the parties. I'm for Texas.
I suffer from the curse of being multi-talented. There's no doubt about it. Politics and literature have gotten in the way of songwriting.
I want to fight the wussification of the State of Texas. I want to rise and shine and bring back the glory.
Simón Bolívar is the only person in history to be exiled from a country named after him.
The distance between the limousine and the gutter is a short one.
There will be a whole new spirit blowing through Texas. There will be a smile on everybody's face and a chill up the spine of every politician.
I don't think I have even achieved fame. Of course, Hemingway says that fame is death's little sister.
And I'll tell you another thing, you won't find any candidate that supports prayer in school and gay marriage. For that reason alone, people should vote for an independent-thinking person.
If Raymond Chandler came from the South, his name would be Ace Atkins.
This system is really broken. No Child Left Behind has really failed and the only way to solve education is to leave one governor behind.
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