Top 110 Quotes & Sayings by Leslie Jordan - Page 2

I am not a drag queen.

I'm a worker bee.

I've always sang a little like a 16-year-old girl, but even Ann-Margret stopped after a while and brought it down a bit.

I grew up in the Baptist church and, honey, they baptized me about 14 times. It never did take.

When I was little, I was like a magpie, which is a bird that's attracted to shiny things. They'll build their nests with Christmas tree tinsel.

I'm one of the most popular cabaret performers, and I don't sing a note. And nobody expects me to sing.

The fact that I had a gay agent was good because he could say: 'Honey, you've got an audition today. Keep your feet on the ground, O.K.?'

I had an awful experience where I went to the U.K. and did reality. I can't even get into it - it was called 'Celebrity Big Brother U.K.'

I got sober at age forty-two.

I always thought I'd be good at musicals, and it turns out I make up for my lack of skill with enthusiasm.

We've got to be kind.

You just can't move back with your mom at 64. It just doesn't quite work.

Growing up, the main thing I was ashamed of was my voice. It is very effeminate.

I can spot a homosexual at forty paces.

You almost had to have grown up in the church like I did to realize how dark that is, how dark it is to be a kid and be told that God hates you or that there's something wrong with you.

My mother had found this album of all these old slides from the '50s of me as a kid and I said, 'We should have these made into pictures because the color's so beautiful.' There were pictures of me from 1955 as a little baby wearing all these elaborate outfits, and in these pictures was this amazing story of a gay man and his mother.

I'm Southern, I'm gay, I'm little - I get Ma'am'd a lot on the phone.

For years, I had a Christmas ornament I had bought at a Cracker Barrel that read 'Deck Them Halls, Y'all.' It always tickled me.

I had a degree from the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga, where they said, 'Mr. Jordan, please learn to pronounce your degree.' 'Cause I said I have a degree in 'thee-a-ter.'

Beverley Leslie was closeted. I'm not closeted. He was a little homophobic. He's a social climber. I'm nothing like that. He had a mean streak. I don't think I'm mean at all.

I have not left the house after 6 o'clock without a paycheck for years.

I'm truly 95 percent a hermit.

I wasn't what you would envision for the son of an Army man. I liked doll baby clothes and twirled a baton. But my aunts and uncles tell me how much he loved me.

I've never been known for being a team player, but I've adjusted to being part of a big cast and it has worked out beautifully.

I've done every series that had gone down the toilet.

I have a standup I do in gay bars, and it's filthy. I have to assess the crowd. If it's an all-gay crowd, I'll dip into the stories of my sordid past.

I really was in jail with Robert Downey Jr.

One job I did turn down was 'How I Met Your Mother.' My character was 'creepy gay guy.' That was the character. The script said, 'Creepy gay guy gets in elevator every day with Jason Segel character and he's just being creepy.'

I feel as if I've been to Miami a million times because I do so many cruises out of Miami.

I talk about things that happened in my life. Now, do I embellish? Absolutely. Come on, we all do it. It makes for a better story. But it always comes from a germ of truth.

I'm an aging show pony and they trot me out here and there.

I love, love, love South Florida.

My theater professor once said to me 'Leslie, you are capable of genuine artistry but you're the laziest actor I know. And yes, you can make people laugh, but you're going to become a parody of yourself and end up in Hollywood if you're not careful.' And he's right, I did all of that.

I really think 'Straight Outta Chattanooga' is one of my best shows.

I do so many cruises out of Miami, all the RSVP ones. And I'm on the cruises out of Fort Lauderdale all the time. I'm always doing cruise after cruise out of there.

What's been interesting is that the more famous the person is, the less they seem to care if I talk about them.

There isn't a lot I can do on this planet, but I can be funny.

I don't sing. I don't dance.

It's so nice that today, young gay men have a choice about who they want to hang out with.

My success on the road is predicated on my success in Hollywood.

When I hit Hollywood, it was full-blown. I was a party boy. It amazes me that I made it ... to be able to have led this amazing career when I was out every night. Every once in a while I'll see old reruns of myself and I see I'm giving it my comedy best, but with dead eyes - no sparkle. I was in the middle of all that abuse. But now I'm a recovering alcoholic with many years of sobriety.

I had that perfect deadpan ... for these commercials. Within the first eight months I had eight national TV commercials. I'm a true Hollywood success story - knew no one, had no connections.

I'm very encouraged. This is progress. There are two or three ways to combat homophobia - one is through humor. The second is to put a face on it. People are becoming much more enlightened.

When I was writing the book, I thought "Who wants to hear another story about some actor who lost his way?" But my story is a little unique in that I realized when I was 14 years old that I was different. I think a lot of gay people use drugs and alcohol to quell that fear and shame - especially people of my age.

I honor the sanctity of all religions - I'm not here to put them down. But the only religion that I personally embrace is the religion of kindness. There are many paths to God. What really bothers me - and what I think is the height of arrogance and stupidity - is when one group believes their way is the only way. That really gets my dander up.

I was raised in a religion that I never felt embraced me. That wasn't her fault. I had this amazing childhood. My mother is of her generation. If I'm going to ask her to accept me exactly as I am, I have to give her the same. She has read part of the book, but my sisters told her which chapters not to read!

A state rep in Oklahoma gave a horrific speech where she felt the homosexual agenda was a greater threat to America than terrorism. People like this - there's not hate in their hearts. They believe what they believe because of the book that they prescribe to. You can't argue with these people.

I remember stepping off and thinking that it might not be a good idea to let anyone know that I'm a homosexual, which is hilarious because I'm probably the gayest man I know. I had these huge dreams and they came to fruition so quickly.

People are realizing that being gay is just as defining as the color of our skin and it's not a choice. I'm really encouraged. I think in my lifetime we will achieve equality. I'm honored to be a part of it.

My mom will never march in a gay pride parade with a big sign. She is very private. She lives in Chattanooga. She tries so hard to understand me and my life. But she said to me once, "Leslie, if I live to be 105 I'll never understand this need you have to air your dirty laundry. Why can't you just whisper it to a therapist?!" She doesn't understand.