Top 79 Quotes & Sayings by Loni Love
Explore popular quotes and sayings by an American comedian Loni Love.
Last updated on December 22, 2024.
You men make up these rules, and now you get mad because I'm telling you what a real woman wants. She wants you to treat her like a lady if you want her to sit up there and put on all the lingerie!
The thing is, it's that Detroiters are hard workers. We've always been hard workers, even when times are down. I've been able to take that with me, that work ethic, to help me build my career.
I did all this standup comedy in college, and from that point on, I tried to develop myself and get my name back out there.
That's a nice thing about being a topical standup: you can add in things to keep it fresh.
The late, great Joan Rivers actually gave me so much advice, and she was so nice to me before she passed.
I've seen Don Rickles up at the Montreal Comedy Festival. Don Rickles was doing jokes in a wheelchair, and he was headlining a show. Do you think they would let a woman do that?
I have relationships. I date. But it takes a lot to say I'm going to be married and have children.
At my job, my manager had a massive heart attack; we had layoffs. It made me realize that nothing is certain, nothing is for sure, and if I'm going to make a move, I gotta make a move now.
That's the one thing I have to say to females. If you don't have a certain look, or if you look a certain way, they won't accept you.
If you think about how many headlining female comics are out there, you could say 15, maybe 20?
What helped was that my mother, even though we didn't have a lot of money... allowed me to take part in the Girl Scouts.
I'm hearing from fans about how they got out of an abusive relationship. That's why I tell people you've got to watch 'The Real.' We are about comedy and inspiration, but personal moments come up, and people are moved by it.
I will never say never, but I can tell you right now - I am perfectly happy with being who I am. I just - I really - I'm an entertainer, and the thing that I'd decided to work on was my career, and I decided the energy that I was putting in certain relationships - I was really kind of wasting my time, and I knew it.
People are getting picked up off the street and getting a show, and it's because we're not using the people that are trying to be entertainers - use more of them.
Everybody wants to say females aren't as funny as men. That's not true. You just don't see as many because it takes a lot to do this occupation.
We provide comedy for everybody, no matter what your race or gender. We just want people to come out and have a really good time.
Whatever you're destined to do, you will be.
When you're a plus-sized girl, belts are your best friends. I also love bright colors and skirts, to show my pretty knees.
People say they get a warmness from me.
In 'Mother's Day,' which is directed by legendary director Garry Marshall, I play a mother figure to the character played by Jason Sudeikis from 'Saturday Night Live.' He's a widower, and I'm a mother who's helping him to get over the loss of his wife.
The thing is being honest with yourself. There's no rule that says you have to be married and have kids.
Being a female comic and getting a Comedy Central special is an honor because not a lot of women get that.
If you are a woman with your own money, you have confidence. You have the pick of the litter.
I have a fear of being broke. That's what I have a fear of. I'm not kidding.
I don't want to get married - I've been there and done that. So I know what I'm talking about when I say that. And for everybody has a different path - find out your path! And if you want to do it, don't let people make you feel inadequate because you wanted to do something that's different.
I like having peace and quiet in my life, and I am perfectly happy in my relationships.
Men don't know how to act like men sometimes. Take the trash out. Open up the door. Rub my feet. I mean, it's a two-way street!
I think that, for so long, there was only one type of actor, and now you see these different colors, different people, different shapes and different sizes. It just makes it more interesting.
I don't have a lot of time for television because I am making it, so it's really hard for me to sit down. But when I do get a chance, I try to catch up on 'Scandal,' 'Empire' and 'black-ish.'
I'm fat, and I support fat celebrities, like Oprah.
I keep doing stand-up because the world needs laughter - there's always something happening in the country and in the world. That's why I wanted to become an entertainer: to help people forget about their problems for a little while.
Now that I live in Los Angeles, if I meet somebody from Detroit, it's like there's this brother- or sisterhood, where we're real folks.
Even when I was an engineer, I was a comic on my job. At birthday and holiday parties, I was the one scheduling and emceeing. If you work on your gift, and you're good, it will shine through.
I do like to laugh at and talk about relationships.
'SNL' ain't been relevant since Jim Belushi. It's on every week; it's not funny. They need to find some black women to put on there to make it funny.
Really, it hasn't changed for female comics; it's still hard for females to really enter the game.
I was a latchkey kid, so when I saw the 'Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous,' that showed me that there was a different type of lifestyle out there. I was curious about it and amazed about it.
Being in the Girl Scouts took me out of the projects environment and showed me different things.
Seriously, I love my gays. They accept me, and I accept them. Imperfections and all, we accept each other.
It is harder to dress a bigger woman no matter what anybody wants to say.
I'll see something, and I'll go, 'Oh, wow, that's interesting,' because really, comedy comes from the truth.
I never wanted a traditional lifestyle. I'm not that kind of person.
Everything that I've done on television has helped me to get the exposure that I need.
I am a seasoned performer.
One day, we had a layoff at my job. And I went to my boss, and I said, 'Please save someone else's job. This is a win-win situation for the company and me - and just lay me off.' I did that in around 2003, and I never looked back. I became a full-time comic.
I couldn't be where I am today if I had children. My focus would be on my children and home. And you can do it later in life.
I do talk about celebrity relationships like Kim Kardashian's. I like to find the humor in love.
The president of CBS handpicked me for the 'Star Search' revival, which Arsenio Hall hosted. He picked 12 comics, and I was the only female. I always look to that as inspiration.
One of my dreams was to change the way women of color were seen on television.
We have to remember that people are free to love who they want to love. That also means that black women are free to love who they want to love.
I always tell people if you want to do something, go to a great comedy show. And that's what I try to do: give people a really good comedy show.
I'm what you call a satisfied single. I don't want to give any trip reports when I come home.
I made the conscious decision to not have kids, and I didn't want to be married.
Anyone driving a 1992 Cutlass, take it back, because I built it.
With comedy, I try to steer toward, you know, talking about people that do crazy things, messed-up things. That's what I like to talk about.
There is nothing like a live performance. You can look at things on television, and you can look at things on YouTube, but when you get in a room full of people and you say one joke, and everyone's laughing at the same thing, it's a really great experience.
I worked harder at my craft, and it took some time, but here I am today doing what I want to do, which is entertain people.
As a stand-up comic, you have to do the road.
It's always good to laugh.
I love being a regular on 'Chelsea Lately!'
Related Authors
Bill Maher Quotes
American
Comedian
Craig Ferguson Quotes
Scottish
Comedian
David Letterman Quotes
American
Comedian
Demetri Martin Quotes
American
Comedian
Ellen DeGeneres Quotes
American
Comedian
George Carlin Quotes
American
Comedian
Jay Leno Quotes
American
Comedian
Jim Gaffigan Quotes
American
Comedian
Jimmy Fallon Quotes
American
Comedian
Joan Rivers Quotes
American
Comedian
Mitch Hedberg Quotes
American
Comedian
P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
American
Comedian
Robin Williams Quotes
American
Comedian
Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
American
Comedian
Stephen Colbert Quotes
American
Comedian
Steven Wright Quotes
American
Comedian