Top 272 Quotes & Sayings by Marshall B. Rosenberg - Page 3

Empathy allows us to re-perceive our world in a new way and move forward.

Every moment each human being is doing the best we know at that moment to meet our needs. We never do anything that is not in the service of a need, there is no conflict on our planet at the level of needs. We all have the same needs. The problem is in strategies for meeting the needs.

If you have an image of someone cutting off a relationship, it's the cutting off that will lead to your suffering. If you see the action as their need being expressed, then the message is within them, not you. Any interpretation you put onto another person's message (such as passive-aggressive, withholding, etc.), you will pay for because of how you took it.

Fear of corporal punishment obscures children's awareness of the compassion underlying the parent's demands.

Understanding and connection can transcend conflict.

All moralistic judgments, whether positive or negative, are tragic expressions of unmet needs.

Imagine connecting with the human spirit in each person in any situation at any time. Imagine interacting with others in a way that allows everyone's need to be equally valued. Imagine creating organizations and life-serving systems responsive to our needs and the needs of our environment.

My ultimate goal is to spend as many of my moments in life as I can in that world that the poet Rumi talks about, 'a place beyond rightness and wrongness.

Conventional compliments often take the form of judgments however positive, and are sometimes offered to manipulate the behavior of others. NVC encourages the expression of appreciation solely for celebration.

Blaming and punishing others are superficial expressions of anger.

If we don't tell people about our needs, it is much less likely they will be met.

I try never to hear what another person thinks of me. I enjoy life a lot more when I spend as little time as possible hearing or thinking about what other people think about me. I go to the needs behind the thoughts. Then I'm in a different world.

Once you can clearly describe what you are reacting to, free of your interpretation or evaluation of it, other people are less likely to be defensive when they hear it.

If we want to make meetings productive, we need to keep track of those whose requests are on the table.

We only feel dehumanized when we get trapped in the derogatory images of other people or thoughts of wrongness about ourselves.

Our ability to offer empathy can allow us to stay vulnerable, defuse potential violence, help us hear the word 'no' without taking it as a rejection, revive lifeless conversation, and even hear the feelings and needs expressed through silence.

We know the speaker has received adequate empathy when a. we sense a release of tension, or b. the flow of words comes to a halt.

As we learn to speak from the heart we are changing the habits of a lifetime.

Postpone result/solution thinking until later; it's through connection that solutions materialize - empathy before education.

Intellectual understanding blocks empathy.

Violence in any form is a tragic expression of our unmet needs.

How I choose to look at any situation will greatly affect whether I have the power to change it or make matters worse.

When we listen for their feelings and needs, we no longer see people as monsters.

You can't make your kids do anything. All you can do is make them wish they had. And then, they will make you wish you hadn't made them wish they had.

Punishment is the root of violence on our planet.

What others do may be the stimulus of our feelings, but never the cause.

What I want in my life is compassion a flow between myself and others based on mutual giving from the heart.

We are designed for Giving

Enemy images are the main reason conflicts don't get resolved.

To practice the process of conflict resolution, we must completely abandon the goal of getting people to do what we want.

Empathy is a respectful understanding of what others are experiencing.

Empathy: Emptying our mind and listening with our whole being

Anger can be a wonderful wake up call to help you understand what you need and what you value.

In these long-standing conflicts, I find that most cases it gets resolved in about twenty minutes after each side can tell me the needs of the other.

Some people use NVC to respond compassionately to themselves, some to create greater depth in their personal relationships, and still others to build effective relationships at work or in the political arena. Worldwide, NVC is used to mediate disputes and conflicts at all levels.

With empathy we don't direct, we follow. Don't just do something, be there.

At the root of every tantrum and power struggle are unmet needs.

When you are in a jackal environment, never give them the power to submit or rebel. We want to teach this to children very early: Never lose track that you are always free to choose. Don't allow institutions to determine what you do.

Fear of punishment diminishes self-esteem and goodwill.

Most of us live in a Jackal world where we take turns using the other person as a waste basket for our words.

Remember that whatever anyone does, it is an effort to meet a need.

The number one rule of our training is empathy before education.

Our goal is to create a quality of empathic connection that allows everyone's needs to be met.

Understanding the other persons' needs does not mean you have to give up on your own needs.

All human actions are an attempt to meet needs.

As NVC replaces our old patterns of defending, withdrawing or attacking in the face of judgment and criticism. We come to perceive ourselves and others, as well as our intentions and relationships, in a new light. Resistance, defensiveness, and violent reactions are minimized.

Tragically, one of the rarest commodities in our culture is empathy. People are hungry for empathy, They don't know how to ask for it.

The first step in healing is to put the focus on what's alive now, not what happened in the past.

The more we use words that in any way imply criticism, the more difficult it is for people to stay connected to the beauty within themselves.

Classifying and judging people promotes violence.

Any time you throw pain at a Jackal without a clear present request, within a millisecond he'll jump in.

We can't win at somebody else's expense. We can only fully be satisfied when the other person's needs are fulfilled as well as our own.

Judgments of others contribute to self-fulfilling prophecies.

Empathize, rather than put your "but" in the face of an angry person.

Often, instead of offering empathy, we have a strong urge to give advice or reassurance and to explain our own position or feeling.

When we express our needs indirectly through the use of evaluations, interpretations, and images, others are likely to hear criticism. When people hear anything that sounds like criticism, they tend to invest their energy in self-defense or counterattack. It's important that when we address somebody that we're clear what we want back.

When we are angry, killing people is too superficial.

Empathizing with someone's 'no' protects us from taking it personally.

Thinking based on who deserves what blocks compassionate communication.

When we are in contact with our feelings and needs, we humans no longer make good slaves and underlings.