Top 272 Quotes & Sayings by Marshall B. Rosenberg - Page 4

When we make mistakes, we can use the process of NVC mourning and self-forgiveness to show us where we can grow instead of getting caught up in moralistic self-judgments.

I believe that the most joyful and intrinsic motivation human beings have for taking any action is the desire to meet our needs and the needs of others.

What bores the listener bores the speaker too.

Never connect yourself with the other person's pain. Just hear their need. Leave yourself out of the other person's feelings and needs.

When people hear needs, it provokes compassion.

When we judge others we contribute to violence.

NVC helps us connect with each other and ourselves in a way that allows our natural compassion to flourish.

Compliments and praise, for their part, are tragic expressions of fulfilled needs

Anger, depression, guilt, and shame are the product of the thinking that is at the base of violence on our planet.

All that has been integrated into NVC has been known for centuries about consciousness, language, communication skills, and use of power that enable us to maintain a perspective of empathy for ourselves and others, even under trying conditions.

Make your goal to attend to your underlying needs and to aim for a resolution so satisfying that everyone involved has their needs met also.

We use NVC to evaluate ourselves in ways that engender growth rather than self-hatred.

Never hear what a jackal-speaking person thinks, especially what they think about you.

In our culture, most of us have been trained to ignore our own wants and to discount our needs.

NVC gives us tools and understanding to create a more peaceful state of mind.

Getting in touch with unmet needs is important to the healing process.

Never give advice to your children unless you have it in writing and notarized.

As soon as you say, "are you feeling X because I ..." Then the Jackal starts to salivate because he can educate the person that he's the cause of his pain.

Empathy gives you the ability to enjoy another person's pain.

You're going to lose it when you follow the world "feel" with the words "because I think". Any time you are thinking, your chance of getting what you need is greatly decreased, especially when you follow the word "think" with the word "you". I predict you won't only not get heard, but I predict a defensive aggressive reaction.

When we have our consciousness on needs, images come to us, naturally, of how to meet those needs.

NVC is language, thoughts, communication skills and means of influence that serve my desire to do three things: 1) to liberate myself from cultural learning that is in conflict with how I want to live my life. 2) to empower myself to connect with myself and others in a way that makes compassionate giving natural. 3) to empower myself to create structures that support compassionate giving.

NVC self-forgiveness: connecting with the need we were trying to meet when we took the action that we now regret.

NVC is founded on language and communication skills that strengthen our ability to remain human, even under trying conditions.

Depression is the reward we get for being 'good'.

The intention behind the protective use of force is to prevent injury, never to punish or to cause individuals to suffer, repent or change.

They have most likely said it because they have an unmet need.

Nonviolent Communication shows us a way of being very honest, but without any criticism, without any insults, without any put-downs, without any intellectual diagnosis implying wrongness.

Once you have access to key people in an organization, if you go into a meeting with enemy images of those people - then you are not going to connect.

The most important use of NVC may be in developing self-compassion.

It's really a spiritual practice that I am trying to show as a way of life.

The more we empathize with the other party, the safer we feel.

If the other persons behavior is not in harmony with my own needs, the more I empathize with them and their needs, the more likely I am to get me own needs met.

We give empathy to others for our own benefit.

Not getting our needs fulfilled is painful - but it's a sweet pain, not suffering, which is what comes from life-alienated thinking and interpretation.

My anger tells me firstly that there's a need of mine that's not getting met.

By maintaining our attention on what's going on within others, we offer them a chance to fully explore and express their interior selves. We would stem this flow if we were to shift attention too quickly either to their request or to our own desire to express ourselves.

My need is for safety, fun and to have distribution of resources, a sustainable life on the planet. NVC is a strategy that serves me to meet these needs.

Social change involves helping people see new options for making life wonderful that are less costly to get needs met.

Plans to exact retribution are never going to make us safer.

An important aspect of self-compassion is to be able to empathically hold both parts of ourselves-the self that regrets a past action and the self that took the action in the first place.

We need empathy to give empathy.

A difficult message to hear is an opportunity to enrich someone's life.

To be able to hear our own feelings and needs and to empathize with them can free us from depression.

People do not hear our pain when they believe they are at fault.

Ask before offering advice or reassurance.

Every time I mess up is a chance to practice.

Time and again, people transcend the paralyzing effects of psychological pain when they have sufficient contact with someone who can hear them empathically.

We want to take action out of the desire to contribute to life rather than out of fear, guilt, shame, or obligation.

Unless we as social change agents come from a certain spirituality, we're likely to create more harm than good.

Miracles can happen when we can keep our consciousness away from analyzing and classifying one another.

If you are a jackal, you will try to reassure. Jackals try to fix people in pain. They can't stand pain, but make matters worse by trying to get rid of it. Put on giraffe ears. Try to hear what they are feeling and needing.

A respectful understanding of another's experience.

NVC is a reminder; to focus our attention where we are most likely to get our needs met.

The punitive use of force tends to generate hostility and to reinforce resistance to the very behavior we are seeking.

Use the words "I feel because I" to remind us that what we feel it isn't because of what the other person did, but because of a choice I've made.

Expressing our vulnerability can help resolve conflicts.

Also, think about your intentionality - are you getting lost in the method? or coming from the intentionality, the purpose? You don't want to do the mechanics without the consciousness.

I have tried to integrate the spirituality into the training in a way that meets my need not to destroy the beauty of it through abstract philosophizing.

Clinical training in psychoanalysis has a deficit. It teaches how to sit and think about what a person is saying and how to interpret it intellectually, but not how to be fully present to this person.