Top 74 Quotes & Sayings by Moshe Kasher

That's what comedy is like: You have to force yourself out in the world because you're always one experience away from new material.

I don't feel I can get used to my face wearing glasses... more than one pair of glasses, or any one pair until a cataclysmic, cosmic event causes me to get a new pair.

For me, the enemy is procrastination, and losing attention, you know? It's not the writing that's difficult, it's sitting down to write - if that makes any sense. I feel I can write pretty well, and I can write pretty effectively.

Seth MacFarlane, he's kind of an entertainment Everyman. He loves musicals, he loves joke-driven comedies, and animated stuff. He likes comedy-comedy.

It's a Hollywood screenwriting notion that change comes because of one epic, soul-crushing event... What's more common is that the slow decay of the nonevents of your life build up until you can't take it anymore.

The problem with the internet and the way that we communicate on the internet is - I mean it's obvious to everybody - but sometimes we don't stop and take a breath and think about it.

People are desperate for these breathier, longer, more in-depth conversations. And the only thing I can't provide in my show is the longer time.

The thing with Netflix is everyone who reads this article can go to Netflix, watch 'Live in Oakland' and come to D.C. and see me do a different show. It's a constant source of people getting to know me.

I think people are really desperate for conversations. I'm really fascinated by the idea that at the same time, the internet is sort of expunging our attention spans.

I'm not uncomfortable with sincerity in my regular life, but, like in terms of my product that I offer, I think that it's weird, because comics used to be way more sincere in the '80s.

No one but John Oliver is going to be able to figure out the code of making a 20-minute monologue on futures, securities, and currency speculation interesting, funny, and poignant politically.

I have definitely learned - and this is definitely a human nature thing - that people are willing to, in an interaction with a comedian, admit things and talk about things with candor that they would never admit to a group of friends or an individual.

Judaism is a big part of my background, obviously, and my reality.

Now, I'm not onboard with the argument that jokes are destructive to humanity. There are bigger issues, and I do not necessarily subscribe to the belief that jokes perpetuate violence and racism. They lampoon those things most of the time. But I could be wrong about that. I'm not a sociologist or an expert.

I've been politically radical my whole life, so when the left attacks, that hurts more.

I wanted to be like Phil Donahue for the internet generation.

If you look at vaudeville in theaters vamping between acts, it was always jokes written and banter in the moment.

Problematic' is one of these meaningless jargon words that people on the internet outrage circles throw at one another.

Joe Rogan has this podcast where he's talking astrophysics and lean BMI indexes and weird philosophy most of the time and yet, when you see him onstage, you're like, 'Oh, this guy is just a killer comedian.'

I don't know how effective it is or isn't, but there's something weird about putting cameras on human beings, and talking on camera.

Well, 'Problematic' was the opposite of a show that was nostalgic and a light fluffy look at life. We were literally trying to kick a hornets' nest, and I don't know how effectively we did or didn't do that.

I will say that, I, being a Jew, experience unease before I go onstage; and after I go onstage, and in general. But luckily the forty-five minutes to an hour that I'm onstage I usually forget everything else and I just press play.

The most hardcore, edgiest comedian in the world has no desire to hurt people and make people have a bad evening. Everybody wants everybody to have a good time.

I don't know about you, but I feel like my day begins by blinking my eyes open, grabbing my phone, and just pouring poison directly into my cerebellum.

But the worst feeling as a crowd work practitioner is that not only is crowd work, for me, the most fun thing to do on stage - I always say the less written jokes I tell in a set the more fun I was having--but it's also a secret weapon.

Richard Pryor had real sincere and vulnerable moments.

I sometimes wonder why I talk about Judaism so much in my act, and the reason is that it's such a huge part of who I am, and I only make fun of stuff that I care about.

I'm not tied to the news cycle. I can do an episode on cultural appropriation, not on Rachel Dolezal. We might make a joke about her, but that's not going to be the focus of the conversation.

Part of the problem of comedians doing specials every year - when the masters do it, it's like, 'Okay, I guess, go for it' - but when people aren't at the top of the top level, bits don't get to cook long enough.

The Punch Line is one of the best clubs in the world. It's an intimidating place if you're a younger comic, but the community is so lucky to have a place with such a high threshold and standard.

Crowd work has this feeling of being very temporary and of the moment, and I think that's why it sometimes gets a bad rap or a stigma.

It was great starting in San Francisco. I really think it's is the best place to start in the country.

For all of the lumps and warts of the Satmar community, there are also a lot of beautiful parts.

When I first started comedy, me and my friends were kids.

There are so many political talk shows out there that are doing such a good job that it would be foolish of me to try to get in the ring with them.

I watch 'Watchmen', and I wish I was in that writers room, so I could figure out what they're doing, story-breaking-wise. I've never seen a television show like that.

I don't know about other comedians, but I know that I never have felt anything like stage fright. I've felt nervous before big shows, but I think that's different than stage fright.

I was a sign language interpreter from when I was 17, but I don't do that anymore. Both of my parents were deaf. I grew up in a deaf household. I don't do any jokes about it really, but yeah that was my day job.

Hip-hop was a big part of my life growing up, especially West Coast gangster rap.

I'm from Oakland and I started doing comedy around 2001.

I like Portland. It's a cute city. You've got a lot of twirly mustaches and things - I'm into that, the hipsters.

But I'm getting to a point where I'm trying to stop reading reviews about myself, only because it's a no-win situation. If they say something nice, you get a little ego pump. But people on the Internet are straight-up cruel, and I'm becoming increasingly uncomfortable reading the ridiculous cruelties that people spit out on the Internet.

Describing yourself as edgy is one of the least edgy things a person can do.

But, for me, I'm such a complex person with so many different facets and so much depth that asking me the same question twice seems almost unfair to the reader. I'm going to die a mystery already, so you want to find out as much about me as you can while I'm still here.

Especially going to Oakland public schools where as a white kid you have to figure out if you're going to sink or swim socially, one of the main ways to stay buoyant was to stay funny.

I'm a strong believer in free speech to the degree that I support everybody's right to speak, including those whose views I find disgusting.

When did I become a fast-talking Jew? As time went on, my bits started to become longer, and that became part of the signature.

I love the Oxygen network - I love everything about the Oxygen network.

There comes a time. The pain of existence transcends the fear of change. There comes a time.

Hip-hop was a big part of my life growing up, especially West Coast gangster rap. The reason I was able to listen to it so freely was that my mom couldn't hear any of it, so we would be driving along just blaring Too $hort's horrible misogynistic stuff, and my mom would just turn to us and say, "This is great. I can feel the bass. It sounds so nice." And we're like, "Yeah, mom. We can feel the bass, too."

When you start doing comedy, you think to yourself, "I want to be a headliner." And you become a headliner, and you're like, "Oh wait, this isn't what I meant. I meant I want to be a headliner that's famous enough that people come see me specifically." And that's a huge leap, because most of the time most of the audience is there to see comedy in general. They're not there to see you.

So in that way, fame has become a weirder thing to go after, but the thing about me is I've never been after fame. That sounds cliché, but it's true. I think fame sounds uncomfortable to me, but being able to like write this book and make my living doing very exciting, creative stuff sounds really amazing. It has been really amazing.

I learned as a really young kid, when my dad was telling me one story and my mom was telling me another that, even as a 5-year-old boy, there was no way that both of these stories are true. Something in the middle is true, and I have to figure out what it is, what the truth is, and I never did quite figure that out.

When I first started comedy, before I kind of gained any national prominence, I - in a weird way - went back to that. Marc Maron had me on WTF making fun of me about that when I first opened for him. I had this very kind of hip-hop bravado to me, and I realized that now I've let some of that go in my stage presence, that maybe that was because I had dropped that completely from my life, and when I got onstage I sort of rekindled it. And I think now that it was perhaps a defense mechanism that was left over from those days, which I think is kind of interesting.

I would say emotionally we've all turned into these sort of toxic, shallow, angry, polarized demons screaming at each other from across echo chambers. My whole thing is that I'm trying to get underneath the anger into the truth that's underneath it.

Sometimes my humor does offend people, and I've said it before: I don't write jokes to be offensive. I write jokes to be funny, and I guess what I find funny are things that other people sometimes find offensive. I would love nothing more than to never offend anyone, but it just doesn't seem to work out that way.

I think people are lonely and desperate for attention and unemployed and bored. I don't mean that these are losers that live with their mom, although that is true for many of these people. I think people in general are literally underemployed and lonely and bored in this country because of the economic downturn, and because of the isolation that's available because of the internet. The internet has both freed people up to connect with each other and isolated them.

My brother and I both like sarcastic, insulting comedy, so that's a way we communicate. Somehow that's what we learned. My mom is not a really sarcastic person. She's a really sort of overly loving person, and my brother and I came out little cynical bastards.

Part of your process of becoming an adult is admitting to yourself that The Doors were a shitty band.

In keeping with the theme of "I got my hands on," my brother and I would listen to The Diceman Cometh. That was the dirtiest thing we'd ever heard, and we could listen to that at full volume without fear of penalty, because my mom couldn't hear that either. I wasn't a huge comedy fan growing up, but I definitely listened to Andrew Dice Clay a lot.