Top 132 Quotes & Sayings by Nick Kroll - Page 2

I usually need to read emails to actually wake up. I'll read these and Twitter, and my brain will start to get going about what a narcissistic monster I am. I read on Twitter who is talking about me. I'll also start making jokes for the day based on what I read on Twitter.

Even though 'Kroll' was a crazy sketch show with big characters, one of the things I'm proud of about the show is that the characters were always kind of coming from an emotionally honest place for whoever I thought that character was.

I'm a good uncle, but I'm not a great caretaker. I feel oftentimes pretty selfish within the relationships I have with my siblings and, historically, with what I give back versus what I've taken over the years.

I think, in storytelling, people want to see triumph, and so it's usually nice to start with failure and see someone somehow rise above it. People like to see people try. And they like to see people fail for comedy, and they like to see people succeed for the drama and emotion.

I miss the New York bagel but miss the New York bialy even more. It's a great compromise of bagel feeling with less dough stuffing.

I don't like downtime, and I just am too insecure that I'll not work again if I don't start the ball rolling on the next round of things. Everything takes so long to make and come to fruition.

Kashi looks like twigs, so it makes me feel like I'm healthy. This cereal has been with me since childhood. Once a year in my family, we had a junk food day. I could eat Cocoa Crisps and Fruit Loops. Now I'm back eating Kashi. As much as I hate to admit it, my mother has won.

My first job. I got fired from this MTV prank show, or I didn't make the cut of what ended up being, as we all know, Boiling Points. It was my first professional job and I was bragging.

Mel Brooks came to see Oh, Hello in L.A. Mulaney and I had a meeting with him, and we invited him to come to the show, and he saw the Oh, Hello show live in L.A. To me, he's the most famous person. Having him come to our show that was so inspired by both of us loving The Producers and all his movies.

I think Trump thinks of himself as pretty important, and now rightfully so - because he's the President of the United States. You gotta dream big, and we're all so proud of what the Donald has been able to accomplish... following through on his dreams of taking fast food dumps on a plane.

The more you're able to understand how to do a good dramatic performance, that can inform your comedy. It all informs one another. And it keeps everything interesting.

People want to consume what you're putting out there, and you can create a really strong following of fans and admirers, and people who are invested in your career and your comedy.

I know it's going to sound cheesy, but I love show business. I love doing comedy, I love that I get to do all this with my friends.

In real life, you care about other people, but at the end of the day you're like, "I'm acting upon whatever it is that I want or need."

Everybody gets better looking on TV as shows go on.Even the nerds on "Big Bang Theory" are getting better looking. Their clothes are getting nicer. They're better groomed. It works for them.

There's one theory that the funnier a comic is in his act, the more mind-numbingly boring he'll be when he's not holding a microphone.

Like most lazy upper-middle-class kids, American Studies seemed like a fun way to use your knowledge of TV to get an A.

Really, more than anything, The 2000 Year Old Man is a huge influence on all of our comedy, but specifically the live version of Oh, Hello.

Sometimes shows suffer from having many cooks in the kitchen.

Although I'm a comedian, I'm also an amateur survivalist.

I tend to play sort of douchey.

A job is a job, and there are days that are going to be boring, or you have a boss you don't like, or people you work with.

I like the idea of people getting to know you from different angles and then realizing "That guy is also that guy!" "Oh, he does that!" I really like having a number of different ways to reach people.

Go ahead and make up a ton of lies about me. That's way more interesting than pretending Wikipedia has any real information.

As long as it's not an easy, outdated stereotype and it comes from an interesting or emotionally driven place, then anyone can be made fun of.

For me, the goal wasn't to turn the stand-up special on its head, but to do what I do specifically, and hopefully that reads as something new.

When you're playing something, hopefully, if you're doing your best, you're advocating for your character and you're not trying to think too much.

In L.A., you really are in your car all day alone, and there's very little public life.

I was, like, a history major, and I minored in art and Spanish, but I found myself gravitating toward media studies as time went on.

I gave the graduation speech at my high school. Not because I was valedictorian but because the grade voted for me to do it. And I gave a slightly contentious speech. I was a little critical of the administration. But for a long time it said on Wikipedia that I took my balls out and exposed myself to the crowd.

I have what I guess is medically known as a farting problem.

You think you're going to be on TV a year out of college and you're not. Then you tell people and it's embarrassing. And then it's not a big deal at all.

I feel like we have so many different ways to express ourselves now, and I relish, I feel very lucky to be doing comedy.

I think that being on the road and doing more and more stand-up has allowed me to figure out... like, I don't think I'll ever be Bill Hicks, but I think I'm figuring out what my opinion is on things.

I like an otter. I like a sea lion. I like a walrus. That's my favorite version of a sea creature.

They're not so much fans of independent movies are they are of independent theatres. They like small theaters with a vague, septic smell. They're not wild about the newfangled theaters with the assigned seating.

This is a perfect example of the power and ridiculousness of a website like Wikipedia. I did give a slightly contentious graduation speech, where I decided not to be funny as my classmates had hoped, which was why I was chosen. I was not valedictorian, that's for sure. Instead, I talked about the failure to communicate between the administration and the teachers and students. That's what was contentious about it. At some point, somebody wrote about that incident on my Wikipedia page. And then somebody added the bit about me exposing my genitals to the crowd.

It's the saddest year in movies. We've got "Manchester," "Moonlight," "Chronic," "Jackie" ... it's sad when "American Honey" is the happiest film of the year and it's about runaways aimlessly trying to figure out their lives with no parental figures.

It's the independent movies. Most of these people never even got a wrap party on their movie.

No doubt there are people who are our guests [ in Oh, Hello] who are more famous, but to me, Mel Brooks is the most famous person. So that was really cool.

Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner are the funniest dudes ever, and they have great careers on their own. They made great art in the '90s, and they still have dinner three times a week.

My experience in TV is that it takes time for shows to find their way.

I like to think that the stuff I do is oftentimes collaborative, so to have other people in it felt natural.

Don't watch Kroll Show if you don't have a Nielsen box. I honestly don't care. Feel free to DVR it and not watch it because that will somehow help my ratings maybe, but honestly I'm talking to the four of you with a Nielsen box. If you have a Nielsen box, like, who are you? Where do you live? How do I find you? You're a unicorn and I don't believe that you exist.

There's nothing better for hosting a show than a bunch of people daytime-whiskey drunk.

It was easier to know a character's point of view than it was to figure out what your point of view was.

You want to be gentle with the people you're working with if you know them.

The immediacy of public interaction is just unbeatable.

I think that the web and its various facets are incredibly useful in just building a fan base and getting your chops better.

It's a real democratic time for comedy, and I think my special is a sign for that. You don't have to just be a classic stand-up to get a special, or you don't just have to be on Saturday Night Live to do characters and sketch on TV. The web has allowed me to show that there are different ways to make people laugh, and the special is a combination of those things.

For me, the best characters are the ones that feel fully formed inside and out, so I try to have a very clear vision of exactly what they would wear, top to bottom, who they are, what their backstory is, what their family situation is, who are their friends, just creating as much of a three-dimensional character [as possible]. Because I think you could do a very broad character, but as long as there's some emotional truth to them you can get away with really crazy things.

My goal was to do something that incorporated all the stuff I do and have it feel like something new, like it was hopefully taking the stand-up special paradigm and turning it on its head.

You get to have some bigger comedic moments with some very real dramatic stuff. All that in one makes for a fulfilling artistic job.

The thing that's the biggest bummer about any live show is a hot, sober room. So if it's during the day and people are a little buzzed, great.

What business would judged on the first week that it's in business?

For me, I was literally trying to stay afloat. I never actually thought I would get my own sketch show. So the idea that one day I would have my own show is pretty wild. But once I got it, I thought, 'Yeah, this is exactly what I always wanted to do.

It's almost worse because you think that you're mature and classic when you're in the newsie cap jazz phase. It's not a great look, a young person trying to seem old and mature and cultured. That's a summarily not-cool look.

A lot of times, you're circling around a lot of things, and then you find that one person, or that little piece of dialogue, and it doesn't always have to be in person.

I've decided to just keep doing Oh, Hello, where I play an older man who thinks he's very cultured. That clearly has not gone away.

In New York, you are forced into having very public lives and observing all types of people, what they sound like, what they're reading, what they smell like, what they are listening to, how they talk to their friends.