Top 127 Quotes & Sayings by Noel Coward

There's always something fishy about the French.

People are wrong when they say opera is not what it used to be. It is what it used to be. That is what's wrong with it.

Someday I suspect, when Jesus has definitely got me for a sunbeam, my works may be adequately assessed.

Extraordinary how potent cheap music is.

Work is much more fun than fun.

It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.

Squash - that's not exercise, it's flagellation.

I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.

I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me.

Mona Lisa looks as if she has just been sick, or is about to be.

I don't believe in astrology. The only stars I can blame for my failures are those that walk about the stage.

I've sometimes thought of marrying - and then I've thought again.

If you must have motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday.

Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade.

Never mind, dear, we're all made the same, though some more than others.

I have always paid income tax. I object only when it reaches a stage when I am threatened with having nothing left for my old age - which is due to start next Tuesday or Wednesday.

I love criticism just so long as it's unqualified praise.

Let's drink to the spirit of gallantry and courage that made a strange Heaven out of unbelievable Hell, and let's drink to the hope that one day this country of ours, which we love so much, will find dignity and greatness and peace again.

I'll go through life either first class or third, but never in second.

We have no reliable guarantee that the afterlife will be any less exasperating than this one, have we?

My body has certainly wandered a good deal, but I have an uneasy suspicion that my mind has not wandered enough.

The higher the building the lower the morals.

That strange feeling we had in the war. Have you found anything in your lives since to equal it in strength? A sort of splendid carelessness it was, holding us together.

It's discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.

Success took me to her bosom like a maternal boa constrictor.

Just say the lines and don't trip over the furniture.

Bed is the perfect climate.

But why, oh why, do the wrong people travel, when the right people stay at home?

Criticism and Bolshevism have one thing in common. They both seek to pull down that which they could never build.

Acting is not a state of being ... but a state of appearing to be.

Many years ago I remember a famous actress explaining to me with perfect seriousness that before making an entrance she always stood aside to allow God to go on first. I can also remember that on that particular occasion He gave a singularly uninspired performance.

Work hard, do the best you can, don't ever lose faith in yourself and take no notice of what other people say about you.

He's completely unspoiled by failure.

It is my considered opinion that the human race (soi disant) is cruel, idiotic, sentimental, predatory, ungrateful, ugly, conceited and egocentric to the last ditch and that the occasional discovery of an isolated exception is as deliciously surprising as finding a sudden brazil nut in what you know to be five pounds of vanilla creams. These glorious moments, although not making life actually worth living, perhaps, at least make it pleasanter.

Consider the public. Never fear it nor despise it. Coax it, charm it, interest it, stimulate it, shock it now and then if you must, make it laugh, make it cry, but above all never, never, never bore the living hell out of it.

The theatre should be treated with respect. The theatre is a wonderful place, a house of strange enchantment, a temple of illusion. What it most emphatically is not and never will be is a scruffy, ill-lit, fumed-oak drill hall serving as a temporary soap box for political propaganda.

Thousands of people have talent. I might as well congratulate you for having eyes in your head. The one and only thing that counts is: Do you have staying power?

I do not intend to let myself down more than I can possibly help, and I find that the fewer illusions I have about myself or the world around me, the better company I am for myself.

Why do I drink Champagne for breakfast? Doesn't everyone?

Familiarity breeds contempt, but without a little familiarity it's impossible to breed anything.

Conceit is an outward manifestation of inferiority.

You will know you're old when you cease to be amazed.

Certain women should be struck regularly, like gongs.

I will accept anything in the theatre . . . provided it amuses or moves me. But if it does neither, I want to go home.

She stopped the show - but then the show wasn't traveling very fast.

Television is for appearing on, not looking at.

Christmas is at our throats again.

Marriage is the aftermath of love.

Trust your instincts. If you have no instincts, trust your impulses.

I can't sing, but I know how to, which is quite different.

My importance to the world is relatively small. On the other hand, my importance to myself is tremendous. I am all I have to work with, to play with, to suffer and to enjoy. It is not the eyes of others that I am wary of, but of my own. I do not intend to let myself down more than I can possibly help, and I find that the fewer illusions I have about myself or the world around me, the better company I am for myself.

Never trust a man with short legs. His brains are too near his bottom.

It's never too early for a cocktail.

To take a gloomy view of life is not part of my philosophy; to laugh at the idiocies of my fellow creatures is. However, at this particular moment I cannot find so much to laugh at as I would like.

Having to read footnotes resembles having to go downstairs to answer the door while in the midst of making love.

What I adore is supreme professionalism. I’m bored by writers who can write only when it’s raining.

How foolish to think that one can ever slam the door in the face of age. Much wiser to be polite and gracious and ask him to lunch in advance.

A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy.

Grab it while you can — grab every scrap of happiness while you can

How was your flight? Well, aeronautically it was a great success. Socially, it left quite a bit to be desired.