Top 144 Quotes & Sayings by Noel Fielding - Page 3

When I was a little kid I always wanted to be ginger. My best friend was ginger and he was pretty cool.

When I was three or four, I was really good at drawing and painting, and everyone used to say, "You're going to go to art college." I didn't really know what that meant.

Englishmen do like to get in a dress, any excuse.

I find it depressing that people think you have to be on drugs to watch [my stuff], that’s a cop out, use your brain, use your imagination.

I'd have to do unannounced gigs because your fans will laugh at everything because they know what you do already. What you really want is a neutral audience that isn't too harsh - a good comedy crowd - but that don't know necessarily what you're doing.

When I was a little kid I wanted to be Face. I thought, cos I had blond hair and he did too, that when I grew up I'd look like him.

No means yes in grasshopper language.

You can't just go gay, its not like buying a ladder.

When you're quite young, your imagination's quite free.

When you're a kid and someone's an artist, you think of Leonardo da Vinci. You don't think that's a job; you just think of a man with a beard painting the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.

I always wanted to travel around and see lots of America, I'd never been to Boston, I'd never been to San Francisco even, so I'm quite excited to just go the places.

I could get an audience into my world and if you can do that, they'll go with you not all the way, but a lot of the way.

That's the authentic punk dance. It's like a child dizzy on lemonade.

It's very difficult once you've been on telly because people know what you do. They give you a little bit of grace but then they're harsher if you're not funny, so you have to be funny.

In comedy, you see yourself as a newcomer and then you realize you've been doing it for 18, 20 years, which is ridiculous.

I couldn't have invented crisps. ... I don't really want to be known as the man who invented crisps. ... I invented apples. ... I invented pandas, and caps. I invented soil.

They call me the confuser. Is he a man... is he a woman? Ooh, I'm not sure if I mind.

I did work in a bakery for one day. But the boss went off and when he came back I was lying on the floor eating cakes.

Goth Juice... The most powerful hairspray known to man. Made from the tears of Robert Smith.

When you're famous you can't go to Topshop. Even when I disguise myself in a moustache, baseball cap, sunglasses - the full Madonna kit - it doesn't work: my stupid face is too big.

If you're going to be a good standup, or a successful standup, or a standup who can work for money, you have to eliminate the possibility of dying quickly.

I'd like to punch out a really old lady. There'd be no repercussions.

Science teachers and the mentally ill, that's all Jazz is for.

There was a big age difference between me and my brothers - about 10 years - so I was an only child for a long time. I used to hang out a lot on my own. I played a lot of weird games with a lot of imaginary people. I guess it's kind of roleplaying.